America Is Sick as in Ill as in Dis-ease

I have come to the conclusion TV world is an illusion to entice sick and poor (not only in $) folks into spending money, being ill, (not the cool ill as in chill) but the real one as in illness and in getting us all pissed off. Lately, I managed to avoid watching the degenerate reality and non reality TV shows.  However, it is our dinner time ritual to stop for 30 minutes and watch the national American news. It is making me sick.

Last night it occurred to me that Americans are suffering from a political dis-ease name Trump,  societal poisonings of police abuse, prophetical last days of un natural disasters;  El Nino warming, tornado's, flooding, fires and a over all sense of doom for USA, NORTHERN AFRICA, ISIS, JEWS, ISLAM, CHRISTIANS, etc.  fill in the blank__________.

I take a deep breath, transfixed with hopeful relief for a commercial break. During the western worlds season of hoLIEdays, I gaze in amazement at the American state of health. Advertisers who cater to viewers who must be very sick, as in ill, as in plain old old school sick. 

Millions spent to place ads during what should be the most factual and informative 30 minutes on TV. Millions spent to convince you to see Star Wars, escaping the reality of Human Wars on this planet. One most recently being the dire possibility of getting caught in a hail of police bullets while showing concern and "looking out" for your upstairs neighbor.  

AMERICA IS SICK. I have proof, a list of commercial ailments "as seen on TV" so it must be true. I list the ailments in caps, then the cause (as I see it)  =  suggested TV remedies at the end in caps.

WARNING: If you are suffering from any of these ailments, consult your primary (insurance controlled) doctor before purchasing any of the commercial remedies. or better yet, IF you can afford it...consult your nearest natural healer, chiropractor for an alignment/adjustment or certified herbalist.  

In order of commercial appearance here’s the diagnosis;

(please read phonetically, some products ain’t in the spell check)

ACID INDIGESTION  - enjoying red mystery meat at McDonalds, Burger King, Taco Bell, Chipole or any place where bare hands other than your own, handles the food. = TUMS

HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE - screaming at your kids, husband, neighbor, slavery syndrome,  police paranoia, anger issues over reports of cops getting off the hook after killing blacks, or any folks by any means they find necessary = PRILOSET

VITAMIN DEFICIENCY - eating white bread, white rice, white potatoes, white pasta, & NO raw fresh veggies or fresh fruit.  (one night it was plain gummy’s, the next night it was mint blowin' up in some guys face. So BIG kids please take your vitamins! You wouldn't need them if you exercised and eat non GMO, organic or REAL food. Gummy/mint chew vitamins? Check with your dentist while your at it.  = CENTRUM

HEMORRHOIDS - from sitting on your butt watching TV all day, at the office or any job in front of a computer, birthing children, or a male x rated activity  =  PREPARATION H

NUTRITIONAL DEFICIENCY - same reasons as vitamin deficiency + boiling + frying vegetable + fruit to death = BOOST

ACCIDENT PRONE - suffering from ALL ailments above while texting or talking on your cell phone + driving = PROGRESSIVE INSURANCE COMPANY 

COLDS & FLU - swapping spit kissing a stranger, breathing on plane, bus or train, around sneezing, runny nose kids  =  NYQUIL

DRY MOUTH & BAD BREATH - smoking cigarettes, weed, taking antihistamines for allergies to chem trails, artificial ingredients in food, dust, not brushing your teeth before you go to bed at night, (Listerine toothpaste or non-flouride herbal toothpaste may help, my ad;-) = BIOTENE

ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION - only YOU MEN know WHY you have this problem (hope the skinny slinky girl gazing at you in the ads helps you at least think about satisfying your wife during the four hours of toting around a hardy, for a change) = VIAGARA

NEW CAR -  with the outrageous cost of rent/mortgage...you'll need a place to sleep one day = NISSAN

NEW CLOTHES - closet full of clothes - not a thing to wear?  Notice you rarely see ads for upscale stores, Lord & Taylor or Saks, save $ while supporting a family in china = ROSS

UPSCALE CAR - after you total the Nissan, get paid from Progressive, time to front = LEXUS

TV STILL ON? - 30 minutes of dreadful national news = TURN IT OFF

Inside Hollywood is next where you gape at live blond Barbie & Ken dolls and get to see how interesting they are....NOT.

COMMERCIALS with your NEWS? Don't worry...it won't go away...turn on your phone, your computer, buy a newspaper and you can still read all about it and maybe even “come down with something”

PS: If you find any of this humorous its cool. Like Smokey sang..."laugh to keep from crying". It’s a personal motto "Humor Reveals Truths" the title of the only A+ paper I received while attending Laney College in Oakland, Cali...before I dropped out to live. I know, I should of stayed + lived off popcorn (like I did in between jobs in LA) & got that degree. I'd be VERY impressive...maybe I'd be a better poet & writer...or not. 

In any case...skip the commercials...America is sick and whatever it is...its going around.   

(c) 2016 Oni Lasana