Escape from the maws o this paw being a pauper

i surmise ye the mysterious gal who sent texts 2 this bloke

lucky yar beau - 4 striking a gold mine of a gal a drawing she doth cloak!

this scrivener tries to avoid throwing punches
   like ma ha mud ali
if game to befriend this contemplative chap u will c
i yam always free
no apr, hidden prices from me!

PLEASE TAKE THIS LIVE YET AIM LESS, GOOGLY EYED, EARTH LINKED, HOTMAIL OF A YAHOO WANTS TO GO ON A SECRETE MSN i.e. mission. SO PLEASE HELP ME >>> JUNO WHAT I MEAN?

     Escape from the maws o this paw being a pauper. ™ -- scrawled about 150 years ago with me sharpest nicked n jagged finger nail while temporarily holed up in a dank damp dungeon before being rescued by scrooge.

     Light snowflakes danced across fuzzy lunar beams casting moon shadows of absolute delight - at least until morning the morn o Christmas broke.
 
     Uncle sam and partner in grime (one union jack) joined ranks to rescue me.

     This bro British ben (who likes rice) pull went on their beat, which result equals this swift tail lord n harried style scribbling.

     As evident dis lit writ fellow enjoys bending, deploying, experimenting, gripping, illustrating karma (his) thru words.

      That then tramp (epitomized in countless burlesque chaplinesque productions, ensian tales, oil paintings some from artistic hands of great masters and others from anonymous exquisite painters, et cetera) remembered nothing of his birth or childhood.
 
     My amorphous gauzy, hazy memories solely comprised fragmented collection of miserable memories, which epitomized living a hellacious hand to mouth hard scrapple existence.
 
     Past and now present existence seemed a worse fate than death.

     The overpowering urge to survive as one foreigner against depredations of the grim reaper found me daily fending off real and imagined threats against daily/night grind!

      Yours truly dug deep within his bony strength in an effort to mustard every last ounce of strength to avoid the skull n crossbones that tried like the ens to ketchup with me.
 
     Although cursed with nefarious fate in tandem with a measly looking specimen of thee human varmint, this then grimy, grungy, rangy, et cetera looking being clung with all the might to his five foot ten inch or so tall and one hundred and twenty five pound body.
 
     I tapped into survival skills and summoned willpower to stay alive and bear this heavy cross of dirty poor poverty.

     No matter a hard-core skeptic at heart, this cynic plaintively called for divine intervention to help, this human piece of flotsam and jetsam to cope with living like a junkyard dog - name o Jim Croce.
 
     In essence, this ignored and shunned vagrant frequently raged against the machine and found figurative and literal lovely bones that picked at mailer demons that tormented his psyche.
 
     While he traipsed along the boulevard of broken dreams (before the end o September came), a torn and well-worn shoe kicked a of couple pointed items.
 
     One comprised colorful jagged shard that in a previous lifetime housed some cheap fermented liquor.

      Nothing but crud filled the remnant of what looked like a booze guzzling hounds favorite drink!
 
     This solitary sojourner never felt drawn to drown out moi sorrows by turning to the bottle, cigarettes nor drugs (a respect for thyself existed), though an automatic reflex found ma fingers to grab this eye-catching drunkard’s lost memento and wireless device.
 
     This tangle of webbed, weird wired mesh constituted a dullish metallic uh object generated by ac/dc charges, which turned out to be a heavily damaged MOTORAZR phone.
 
     Out of some foolish embarrassed instinct, I cradled then rubbed this remnant once containing some amber liquid of the hot penis shaped stone temple pilots of the dogs!
 
     In mockery against cosmic consciousness, my mouth jabbered away into the mobile phone.
 
     No sooner did these chafed, course and cracked fingers slide across the unbroken surface of said bottle in with my cracked, frozen and parched lips uttering some plea, a crackle, snap and pop delivered a lifelike goddess.
 
     The mp3 player began issuing syncopated beats indicative per some previous owner favorite play list tunes on this electronic contraption!
 
     This vision and auditory music definitely brought a sobered Judy e shall punch to moi cloudy sense n sensibility flush with pride without prejudice.

     I clapped mine nearly deaf ears and thence rubbed mein kempf gnarled hands across nearly blind myopic eyes.
 
     A maiden suddenly appeared in plain view.

    Disbelief found me as some pretender to feign acting like a beastie boy to use said cell phone and speak in a matter of fact tone of voice.
 
     She (in a lilting, melodic and sing song tone) responded with casualness as like a genie appears (alladin like) everyday.
 
     General conversation ensued (albeit fraught with a bit of apprehension and self consciousness) before the purpose of her presence became clear.
 
     Immediate difficulty arose to think of one wish to alleviate grievous humiliation and immersion in misery at the dog forsaken hour of 4 after midnight, yet we carried and decamped.
 
     Rather than blurt out the immediate favorite offering for untold riches, I surprised myself and communicated a desire for female friendship.
 
     A gamesome gal who would surrender herself for cries and whispers seemed more important than any pile of wealth.
 
     Awareness and self-actualization about my utter decrepitude appeared as immediate deterrent toward attaining a bona fide sincere relationship.
 
     Nonetheless, This ordinary and reasonable ambition appeared as a lofty goal.
 
     Self absorbed in this rambling, jangling and longing of the body, mind and heart, I quickly became oblivious to an imaged or real corporeal presence, which spurred such an outpouring toward this ostracized and unwanted vermin!
 
     Eyes wide shut loosened tongue in an effort to picture the escape from pernicious malady and crushing blow of an abominable existence.
 
     Lips shut tight prevented the woebegone loss of what appeared as some divine trickster who conjured such a muse out of thin air.
 
     Upon winding down this unrehearsed recitation, a painstaking effort got made to open the eyelids very slowly.
 
     Wanton soupy pleasure ala a side order of Lo (mein), and behold when this nattering noodle ling manifestation in the actual guise of a gorgeous gal.

     She stood still as a statue, and remained rapt with attention.
 
     Provenance and providence found pleasure in prattled patois.
 
     A promise uttered to remain as permanent lass despite many who considered this writer nothing but a wretched pestilence of earth!
 
     Those comedy of errors leered at this kingpin of words ceased to punctuate one anonymous life with angst-riddled tragedy.

     Pleasant great expectations found all’s well that ends well.
 
     My virgin innocence, naivete, and nonchalant Tommy knocking cruise across the byways, country roads, and superhighways of this awesome World Wide Web found me sequestered in seventh heaven.
 
     This frenzied, mad as hatter Caucasian man found himself pleasantly ensconced with a down to earth woman, who playfully grabbed, man-handled and pinned down this artfully flirtatious fellow.
 
     Thine force-fed (with but a feeble protest) feasts of feverish foreplay found flaccid flesh to become primed for penultimate probing in the primary female plantation in that verdant tropic of cancer!
 
     Merry widow and 2018th wife who dwelled in a system with Windows 98 subjected this gentle guy to pleasant uninterrupted interludes of gentle felicitous ecstasy devoid of prophylactics for greater intensity of coital experiences.

     Each countless caress upon thy body politik sans gorgeous gal begged to be fondled ushering (from the chamber of pheromone secretes) that pined to boot for her lil hills of Rome, which miniature towering inferno of erotic exploits dwelled in my over active imagination.