Deciding

Incantation One

Muah !!! Matthew thank your for loving me at your capacity.

You comforted my frenzies of worry

Your stature lent me calm and I was able to organize anxiety

What I learned from you has refined my character

I am closer to home within myself

Good Bye Matthew

Muah !!! David thank you for loving me.

I remember being handled so soft and warm. Words still escape me for I will always love you.

We lived a dream and realized creation. Autumn will forever live in our hearts just us too.

Goodbye David

Ajah thank you for loving me!!!

You were every aspect of love.

Lover soft and edgy

Friend honest and forgiving

Brother playful and frustrating

Father nurt...

20 Maple Court

Tucked away in the missed toward the end so no one will know until it's time
Illuminated hues of KRYST particum fill the air inside
Inviting and ever so comforting

Each shape holding a different SEAL and outwardly loves soft colors of 
Blues that sing songs of peace and instruction
Smells of old and new confirm there were lifetimes here
Nails in walls that seem to hold my logos speak of praises of balance
You can teach, be taught and learn here
Messages in Magic disappearing ink on walls clue the souls eye to know 
What glass knob to turn. The sands of time are in the water and scream of alarm

You can heal and be healed here

Listen closely through the yelling. There are explicit directions. 
Harsh words connected with molecules made of crystals lovingly hold you
Listen it's true !!!!! 
There are sweet kisses weighted in the silent good byes

Don't be...

Leaving

Navy blue waters with sharp edges sting my tippy toes

There's a possibility here I ..

Sitting and staring seemed to be safe at first
Fullness in the top of my head and aching in my stomach that reached 
into my lower back push me to think further

I may just.......

Desperate thoughts of the day's  lifetime made me stumble and I was in…..

Echoes of baby voices first argument of color and breath
Made me conscious

I can't believe I .......

Cool blue dressed  me fine and  I was calm

Oh my ........

I've found peace here. I was so tired 

Why did you hide from me so long, I've been so very tired and hungry
But you walked on by my stretched out arms with all 10's erect

Cool is now dark and more warm than anyone would eve...

When She Passed On

White, Blue and Yellow shifted in a second as the smoke blue the images from
Thine's pineal gland to mines
She chose two words to sum it all up, TAKE CARE

These colors once so vibrant and important, communicating images and 
silhouettes that led me to creation now run slow and dull
White morphed into grey with streaks of brown and black running thru
All blues are now black and blue for all my 12's have suffered blows and woe's
Systematically we are bruised from the 1st to the 15th chakra

How can this loss be made to feel like a blessing
Yellow was off completely and is now my new White
This new white heat now chokes and burns your skin within seconds of contact  
There are no clues and guidance we are forced to maneuver thru these tunnels
and forest hidden within the missed

All once inspiring and comforting turned to stone and rocks with 
Sharp edges.

Mothers and Daughters

She didn't want the letters that spelled me or the numbers
She didn't pick any of the colors I chose to paint our life's pictures
She will eat some of my fruits but they have to be on rounds of her own trust

I have no influence on her that can be seen from the naked eye

There is but a very thin plastic tight rope to walk this blinded path.
There are thumbs up in the subtle gust of 5 miles per hour wind,
that let you know she hears you

This is it, you can only close your eyes and ignore the pain for it seems
She has left the Building.
 

Anger

1big, 1 small and 1 small version of an alter me

You are rude in your words.

You hate and take in your silent laughter.

Your selfishness is  diseased and stinks of dead rodents under office radiators

What you see as wit is projected as screaming loud ignorance announcing look at
me I'm the jackass

You laugh at others display of pain and confusion to shield your own missed fortune

Your own ego spits lyrics confirming the beat of the drum is wasted on you

You are not even worthy to smirk, sigh or even think you know me
think you know me.

Small alter next opportunity you get to display your teaching do it !!!!
Small one never follow a jackass even if you share DNA!!!!
And one bigjackyour consciousness is old enough to know better
 

Writing Pain in Script

Some lives are made up with letters that spell pain

He isn't capable of loving us whole
Seven words to prick the surface of the skin
How could a small unexpected scratch create such hurt  
Quantum droplets of blood pool over every other centimeter, some times every second other
Twenty six letters plump with plasma and melanin dabbed by one sheet of tissue

Blood rained down on me swirled with tears like black gross grain
My belly is filled with this elixir. Please lord cut me !!!  poke me !! I must bleed out these letters
They are strangling me. I fear I may drown in my own script
Rich green chlorophyll ***ed blood is being sacrificed
It's being wasted, the breast is full and contributing but there is no mouth of want and desire to suckle
Love goes unloved here

Tears roll down mountains that use to be bones under cheeks with smiles that showed teeth
Tunnels dark and damp ...

Deciding

Feet dressed bare,  shuffle front right, front left, turn to the side, shuffle side right,
Side left. And front again. 

Arms raised to clean and to put away and to question, answer and direct.

Thoughts to be better and Communicate!!!! Communicate!!!! Communicate!!!!!

So many things to do, as many as things to say. Thoughts and conversations 
Unfinished like leftover take out. You save it for lata.

My feet walk the talk I can not say. Love me good and strong how I am. 

Cradle my baby girl in your strong arms until she knows you mean her no harm

Tears fall into a black whole filled with fears and atoms of  hurt feelings

Small pieces of heart float on top like melting snow flakes

My body battered and beaten

I'm a shell of the child I was.

Angry and sad full of raging blood over flowing with the intentions to handle, take 
care of, be strong for, be the...

Cheating on Love

Here’s a question to answer

How does it physically fill to be cheated on? 
If the love is true the hurt comes in slow stages
that have to be diagnosed like Cancer or Diabetes
Type I heart ache, symptoms of mental anguish, why did this happened, again no less
Stage 4 heartbreak, you think we can get past this, do you really want to ?

Why is it that loves seems to some how connect to your DNA?

Molecules fueled with enzymes that have been steeped
In the teas and medicinal herbs of a life with someone to love
My cells remember love not necessarily your love

So like any other compromise in the body
The Immune system kicks into hi gear
And sends blood to the effected area
Meanwhile you want to forget the why's and how's
But your body physically won't let you
There's a heat that's generated and it stations itself right above the brow
It’s deep ...

Step daughter

Step Daughter