Hard to sleep. Stay up at all hours of the night. the nightmares are still there. Was a soldier of war, now a cillivian. Was happy to be home but sad many of friends didnt make it back. Hard to adjust to the civilivan lifestyle.
Im not the same I was before I left. The war changed alot in me. I might be the same outside but inside im not. Waking up in sweat. Thinking im under attack. Mom notices the changes in me. She does her best. Sometimes I just find myself sitting on the floor in the corner. Or outside walking around the city. The war's over but theres still a war at home for this soldier, everyday the nightmares begins to go away. less sweat in bed, less times of me roaming the city. More time with my family. Less times of me being sad. Til then ima keep praying for a better day.
DaSoulChild
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Soldier at war...Soldier at home too
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life
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catmartan says: Great Write ! Thanks for the share |
OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY DaSoulChild
Go headI think the biggest dream killer is that people never act. They focus entirely too much on what has to be done rather then what is going to be gained. They ask lots of people their opinions for validation,which does more bad then good. They overthink and over analyse They second guess themselves on whether or not they are aiming too high. All these obstacles/ things that cause us to not act and then we get left in that feeling of emptiness of thinking "what if?" It is better to have tried and failed then too have never tried at all. So if you want something go get it.  |
It's just how it isLife can sometimes seem unfair. Things don't quite always work out the way we had planned or even hoped and people don't always support us the way we thought that they would. During times like this you can crawl up into a ball of negativity, spend your life in a depressive state and cut yourself off from the rest the world as you feel the world has nothing else positive to offer you. OR You can choose to brush off all the negativity, pick yourself up from down in the dumps, count all these issues as your blessings and take the lessons you learnt from your past failures and continue to grow as a person. Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it. |
Deep WithinFinding myself laying on the rooftop staring at twilight's dark blue sparkles of white, strange never seen so many out as I lay, my mind began to wonder what it would be been if I did this or that. Feeling this feeling I can't quite explain something I have felt before but ignored. I feel a bit lost but found. Wishing upon the stars staring up at the moon dreaming dreaming for more dreaming a good dream to overrule the bad. Laying here in this cold rooftop letting nature sooth my thoughts and heart allowing it to take over and send me floating on cloud nine |
Brokengasping, holding onto my chest feeling the pain, feeling the hard painful strain in my heart as it breaks. loving you for a year and a half the first who has healed my heart, took care of the wounds of a past love only to be broken shattered to pieces like a glass fallen to the floor. only to be said you say its over only to be said you moved on so quick only to be said you fallen in love with someone else leaving me alone leaving me drowning in tears drowning myself wondering trying to figure out what did i do wrong why...why i thought you love me all those moments we had i guess its nothing now huh guess i should respect you for telling me i'm hurt broken mad at you but i'ma have to move on and let u go
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Day I went DeafWoke up soaked in my sweat. Ears burning gasping I shout for help but my voice was muffled. I keep shouting not understanding why I can't hear my voice. Running around the house, water filling my eyes yelling for my mami yelling for my papa. Tugging my ears growing scared and angry. I still can't hear my voice. Why can't I hear my voice. Mami and papa rushed to me with looks of fear on their faces wondering why their firstborn daughter is yelling and crying. Staring at them as they spoke. Gasping as I couldn't hear them. Rush to the hospital high fever crying holding onto ma for dear life she doing her best to calm me sooth me. Carried in put on a gurney I freak out yelling no, growing angry still can't hear my voice. Papa and the nurses trying to calm me, papa knows I'm afraid of hospitals. Then I gasp loudly as felt a sharp pain on my arm. My body began to fight me. Fighting to lash out fighting to scream but my body wouldn't let me. Salty tears flow... |
Dreamer WantedI need a dreamer
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Dark Lust part 1 (Halloween)"Dark Lust part 1" (Halloween story) |
Missing Heart Foundwas torn into pieces shattered turned ice cold. A love that I once had was taken away by another. Dark secrets came into the light. Lost my way, gave up turned cold not caring than you came. I talked just to pass time but as time passed I became warm. You had a crush on me for a long time I never knew nor saw it. As weeks went by you gotten me to smile, made me laugh. I wasn't ready yet but you said "I'll wait for you." Months passed I smile everyday cause of my thoughts of you. You took your time with me carefully picking up the broken pieces gluing them back together with care, with love with faith and hope in me, in us. You help found my heart and put it back together. Now to this day I am happy to call you my woman my queen. My missing heart has now been found and healed. |
I should not!!!How many more? How many more have to die? How many have to be killed in cold blood? Just for you to wake up. Why, why does this country have so much blood on their hands. I shouldn't be afraid of you, I should not be afraid to walk out my door fearing I might not come back home. Fearing I will get wrongfully pulled over, tackled to the ground, not being read my rights than getting shot in my back. Or choke to death with your knee deep in crushing me. I shouldn't be afraid to walk anywhere without being accused or racial profiled. I shouldn't be afraid to call for help without fearing I'm going to be harmed. I should not be afraid to have my nieces and nephews play outside without fearing you gonna shoot them. This is supposed to be the land of the free, I don't feel so free. To protect and serve...I don't feel protected. Why? Why kill us? why shot us in cold blood? Regardless of anyone's past, record or the color of their skin "WE THE PEOPLE"... |
"Seeking love"stuck in a game that she was born into. rules, street laws, secrets. a mother who hasn't been a mother to her children but to the game. Trulis, a young stud seeking a way out yearning for love, a real family. will she go against the game, her blood to get the life she wants??"
new story i'm working on, check it out on #wattpad "seeking love" by Kourtney SoulChild http://w.tt/1P4M9nu |