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Sham…
SHAM: noun
1. Something that is not what it purports to be; a spurious imitation; fraud or hoax.
2. A person who shams; shammer.
3. A cover or the like for giving a thing a different outward appearance:
I feel like this whole thing is was and forever will be a sham…
I feel hoodwinked, flim flamed, bamboozled..
I didn’t land on lover’s rock, lovers rock landed on me!
How could I have not had seen this? Maybe love does make you blind.
Blind to facts the clues to the larger picture at hand..
Feelings hurt; tossed aside like a filthy rag I used that same filthy rag to wipe my tears.
The sad part is my feelings for you will never change.
I mean you can’t help who fall in love with right?
You can’t fight it, you can’t hide it.
Yeah you talked a good game and you made me a believer of you. But things got tight and I saw your words didn’t match your actions. So I made a promise to myself to be more observant and listen to your actions more than your words.
I loved you. And although you may not have felt the same, the love I provided was whole, indivisible and undivided, and no matter how much pain was added nothing could subtract from the love I had for you.
I didn’t even question it even when all the signs were clear that we were headed in the wrong direction. I didn’t question this path because I was caught up in the rapture of what I thought was love.
Then a bulb goes off, I saw the errors we were making so I figured we could correct them if we got back on road God chose for me. We thought that we would be fine; well I thought we would be fine rather.
The road God had chosen for me wasn’t for you but I wanted you to go with me so bad I was willing to wait for you.
Then I figured, maybe if she sees a change in me she would follow me as the head of the household in this so called relationship.
I started going back to church, I stopped drinking. I was reading the good book again. I cut off old friends and ties and started tithing. But now all of a sudden I’m boogie for wanting to be the man that God has called me to be?
Another bulb goes off. Instead of praying that this works out, I should be thanking him! Thanking him for allowing me to be no longer blind from the facts, clues the larger picture at hand.
I came to realize that if you weren’t on the same page as he who blesses me then I feel sorry for your humanity!
See I plan to stand next to the man who blessed the man for not walking with the council of the wicked. I’m talking about the man who gave the hopeless hope and the faithless faith. I’m talking about the one who confides to the hearts of the wise and the ears of the blind, to the eyes of the deaf who have confessed to the presence of his breath. This whole time I figured you knew what actual love was!
But can you spell love? L.O.V.E? Wrong!
Love is spelled G.O.D in lower case it spells J.E.S.U.S!
But what I’m trying teach you is more than just a spelling correction it was his affection that I should have been seeking the entire time, and yet the entire time I was with you, I did not know you, I knew your name but didn’t know your ways, I knew your face but didn’t believe that you believed in the faith that I believed.
I finally realized that, God’s love is whole.
Indivisible,
It’s undivided.
And no matter how much sin we add NOTHING can subtract from the love he has for us..
God’s love is real..
God’s love doesn’t feel like a sham.
Sham…
