My smiile iiz fadiing.. Thiis cant be liife..

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life

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I dont know iif iitz the ciity or just wat iim goin through that stealz my smiilez,

I smiile to be kiind ,

But iit slowly fadez away liike the colorz from a sunset as iit turnz niight,

At tiimez ii feel my smiilez are type phony,

Cause ii force them out ,tryiing to be happy,

Although iit iznt diirected towardz anyone ,ii dnt want to let them iin personally,

I feel as iif no one can change anythiing , so ii stay quiiet and lonely,

The only tiime ii feel aliive at tiimez iiz when ii driink poiison or blacken my lungz ,

Poppiing a piill and gettiin so faded that ii act dumb,

It deeply hurtz me that ii notiice these thiingz,

Slowly reachiing towardz changiing,

I need to achiieve at somethiing before ii start fadiing,

Lettiing ppl ruiin who ii am,

When ii know that iitz all they want , ii should be standiing as tall as ii can,

Sociiety can be so cold,

But ii now know, the onez that really make iit are the onez who are bold,

Not the onez gettiing hiigh to feel brave,

Or the onez that hurt otherz to feel gaiin,

Some wiill never change,

But ii have to remaiin & maiintain faiith,

Liife wiill try to striip u of ur moralz, & make u scream out iin paiin,

As long as iive let the world hold me iin chaiinz,

Ii vow to break free and get out of thiis cage,

Iim iin constant struggle wiith myself, in constant paiin,

No matter the smiilez ii put forth, ii have heat pumpiing through these viienz,

People wiill liie and say,

That they've overcome, that they are ok,

They got everythiing they want, the "biitchez" the $$ , the street fame,

Yet iinsiide they are pollutiing, startiing to decay,

Through theiir smiilez , theiir fancy clothez,the smell emanatez ,

No one can fool me cause ii share wat they feel,

Lookiing at me liike "watz the deal?",

Wonder y i stare?, iitz because iim lookiin through ur soul,

I guess thatz why so many feel uncomfortable,

My eyez can be penetrable,

God gave me eyez to see, so ii look ,

Takiing iin the sky,the ppl at work,the wiild liife,the pagez iin a good book,

Ii try to appreciiate liife for wat iit iiz , but ii feel so unsattiisfiied,

Ii feel liike as a whole , everyone can change, therez gotta be more to liife,

Then hatiing eachother, abusiing one another,

Wat the *** are we doiing to ourselvez?,

Iif ii can be young and seek help ,

Then why cant we all , and put our priidez and ego'z on the shelf,

Miiddle fiingerz up at beiing iignorent,

Stop focusiing on beiing glamorous,

Or , beiing better than the next and beatiing on ur chest and shiit,

Thiis iiznt a contest on who can be better,

Iitz abt who can love who for REAL,who can try to iimpress theiir wiife/husband or famiily member ,

Wiith a siimple "appreciiation" or "love" letter,

Acknowledgiing a stranger,

Compliimentiing them for the sole purpose of makiing them feel good,

Expectiing nothiing,not even a favor,

Hmmm, seemz as iif iim wriiting a dream..

Or iiz thiis wat liife truely CAN BE???..

Maybe iif we practiiced wiith one another iit can start to exiist,

Wiith siimple actz of kiindness,

Just maybe then,can my smiilez return to beiing fully genuiine.