Justformine

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anyone has any tips or advice I'd love yur input. Email not set up so just leave a comment. wanna start expanding my writing style. Site Rank BRIGADIER GENERAL
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Let me

Absurdity

A writers soul

I dont think we ever feel whole

Trying to escape the feeling

These emotions Im trying to gather, reeling

Theres a void in my heart

I dont know when it did start

Nothing seems to satisfy me anymore

When I think about it, did it really ever before

Trynna sleep, looking at the walls

Walk around a house with empty halls

Full of people but theres no love

Keep searching for help above

Keep losing myself

I really need some help

Whats the point of all this

Marriage, kids?

Money, cars

All that doesnt seem that hard

no one understands

I have goals but no plans

They hear my words

In there head they think in absurd

Think it just made up fun time

But this is my heart and soul nothing but the truth in my rhyms

WORTH IT!

Why do we always compete

We nver feel complete

Even if we dont care

We're well aware

Of all the judggment

Im just being myself, your acting like ive commited a sin

It all stems from when we were kids

WAY before we started smokin mids

We made fun of what was diffrent

To young to know better

Our mouths were to clever

Not relizing we just changed someones outlook

Just because they did'nt have the same look

Still trying to shake this bad habbit

Catch myself judging someones outfit

I know better

But when im feeling under the weather

I stop careing

And who am I to talk? I get up and dont even look at what im wearing

I know god has a plan for me

Hes planted the seed

...

if i could die now

So depressed

My actions just cause more stress

But in the moment i dont care

I just dont wanna be here

I want to be left alone

But my mind doest seem like home

Im so tired of this

I dont know what to do always pissed

Always wanna feel numb

Dont really care if i end up like a bum

My emotional state is so fragile

I juat want someone to notice and help

But i do this to my self

So good at putting on these masks

No one can master the task

Of understanding me

My mom dont even see

Not like she cares

Theres only hate and regret here

Lost relationship

No one can salavage it

Been tryin for years

But all shes hears

Is the problems

Complanes, with no way to solve them

Putting her stresses on me

Its no wonder why i smoke this weed

I messed my life up

Put myself in this rut

I wanna get out

I real...

BOW

Im lost dont know where im headed

Just trynna pay all my dues that are debeted

I miss my n***a jay

I just wanna hear him say hey

Locked in a cell

I know to him it feels like hell

I aint been writing like i should

I would if i could

Gotta do for my people who cant

To gether we stand

If we aint got eachouthes back

Someone gon get us w. That gat

I promise you that

My loyalty runs deep

Out my mouth ypu wont ever hear a peep

Just the sound of me creep

Thatll be the last thing you hear

My face you'll see in the rear

Over my peoples i really do not care

Life..man..

They tell me stop smking and ill achive greatness

What they dont know is all my deep dark secretes

All the i choose to forget

Makes me to upset

Somedays i have to give in

Let myself sulk and cry within

Sometimes this weed is the only thing keeping me sane

They dont beleive me all thats going on in my brain

Not saying i shouldn't quit

Alot of the times i jist wanna hit it

Start a whole new life

Not worried about the price

Or what its gunna take

Whos gunna hate

Life seems hopeless

Honestly theres no use for me to suger coat this

So for me to hold on to hope is a desperate situation

I self medicate without hesitation

Ive tried it without the drug

That shieet aint no shrug

If you were to see how i was

You'd understand why i just cant quit

All this is legit

I mean im just trying to keep my head above water

Everyday it just ge...

late night torcher

It sucks when im alone

In bed at home

These late nights are a killer

I know they say i should be realer

Theres something that just holds me back

Trynna keep my mind on these racks

You always pop in there somewhere

When i see you i just want to stare

I hate myself for being this way

I get butterflys everytime you say hey

But i cant bring my self to it

Sometimes i wanna just say screw it

And do it

Pour my heart out to you

Let you know everything i say is true

Whats there to lose

A friendship? Oh boohoo

I should be the one to choose

Ill take YOU shopling for some shoes

All that yOU been torough

I can be there for you

You just gotta let me

Me see

I just gotta tell you

But i never will

Im just keepin it real

This is how i feel.

What is this world?

What has our generation come to?

Our lives consist of money drugs sex nothing true

Even if we want to live simple

Money we need that just to survive a little

We stress about cash flow

We can try not to but we always stressin over some hoe

This is where the drugs come into play

What ever we choose, feels like it gets us through the day

Shopping, food, lust, sex, "love", pills, and weed

Whatever your addiction, whatever you feel you need

Why do we do this

Put our selfs in the pits

I can't get over the fact

That they pass these kids who fail the damn FCAT

We're supposto help our children

Not let them run wild and sin

Their crying out for our help

That's why they throw fits and yell

Babies havin babies can't even help themselfs

These kids are raising themselfs

Seems like we're to far gone

The whole world is wrong

Even in the churches

...

Is it dreams or nightmares?

Run up in your house

Quite as a mouse

Take all yo ish

Then hit your bish

With my AK

Better hope ion spray

Like I do on them crackas

They already know im faster

Hollywoods most wanned

Now im locked up so I get taunted

That street life aint where its at

That life you livin by the gat

It aint cool

Youll just end up in a pool...

Of blood

And all they gon do is shrug

Way to many thugs

They children aint gettin no hugs

This world is ruthless

Crackheads walkin about toothless

Me.. I just wanna be somebody

Not just anybody

Respect is what I disire the most

Best beleive thats what I'll get before I croke

Lost Childhood

Dreams of a lost childhood

The result of a child from the hood

Drunkin mother

Drug addicted father

What was exected of me

Way to much for me to reach

No concence

What im dealin right now is nonsence

Victim emthey

I dont think thats gunna work for me

Cause when I was livin on the streets

Aint nobody had that for me

No place to sleep

Somewhere quite to count sheep

Or what about when I had to take care of myself

Way befor the age of 12

First night my baby sister came home

Insted of being able to roam

I had to save her life

If I haddent steed in she just might..

Be dead

My mom shot in the head

These are all possiblitys

Of what I could possobley see

Didnt want that street ;life

But just like that f...

Honest

Always trying to make someone laugh

Maby because if not you'd just crash

Thirteen years old

Already so bold

Stand up to anyone

Thrn right after say a pun

On the outside no one could see

You were just trynna be

Likeabul....

Feel like your unlovebul

Into this now I put my heart and soul

Im not trynna fit in anymore

Yes these wounds are still sore

I dont care anymore

Dont like me then leave

Im not hiding under the sleeve

So much denial

Even after the trial

Still to this day

Im ashamed to say

Its hard to be honest with yourself really

Contplating life smoking ciggretts in the back of my grandparents ally

Now I finally honestly do see

Wh...