Your silence is prevailing
You don’t seem to hear me yelling
On the mountain I will go telling
The aroma of pain
For four years now I’ve been continuously smelling
I daily question the possible lesson
Seeking to find
If I possibly may have missed the blessing
I just can not even try to fathom
How a loving father is disguised as a phantom
Allowing my emotional cancer
To pounce and eat me up like a panther
I’m growing cold
While the flames burning, they grow in intensity
I’m completely losing sight
Of your so called "LOVE" propensity!
You tell me to hold on
And yet give me no reason
What’s my incentive?
To be sinfully preventative?
There only seems to be methods of madness
As the devil smiles with gladness
I have yet to see, hear, or feel the love
Of which so many seem to preach of world wide
How can you tell me
That in YOU I should totally confide?
You expect me to begin and develop
A loving relationship with you
When a strong friendship takes two
I’m spiritually adept
But you treat me as if I devastate you
It’s actually kind of like
A self fulfilling prophecy
You want us to love you while you allow or create nothing but pain
To me, that’s nothing but hypocrisy!
My words of pain
They all seep from my heart
But the words are conveyed
By electronic impulses inside of my brain
I recognize I was created a human
With imperfections and too many flaws
Yet you command me to be PERFECT as you are
And to faithfully uphold all of your laws
Now what do I get in return
And not just “a hope†of a future beautiful paradise
I need something substantial, evidential, and tangible
The more I suffer daily
The more you make me feel like unwanted merchandise
Honestly God
I’m more than vexed & perplexed
At the level of complexity of my stress
And yet I somehow still pray and confess
That in you I desire much needed rest.
My heart palpitates in my chest
Due to my extraordinarily high level of stress
The pain that overwhelms me is elevated
And I feel I’m going to die of strain unless
Unless you forcefully intervene
Have your heavenly courts reconvene
Look up my name in your divine records
And you'll see by christ's blood I am clean!
And once you recognize the fact
Then quickly correct your mistake
Take away my stress and my neuromuscular disease
‘Cause there’s not much more I can take!
Until you respond to my pleading
I will continue to develop my skill
Hoping a steep drop is coming
So I can stop pushing my ball of troubles
All the way up this rocky hill.
And maybe, just maybe
One o f your biblical promises you will finally fulfill
But until then, I continue with my human patience and faith
Hoping one day
Your peace and love you'll eventually instill!
SkTzO