Phenomenal Paris

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CATEGORY

life

I'm at a place in my life where a part of me wonders, is God really with me. Everything around me seem to be collapsing. Everything important to me seems to be collapsing. I'm stuck in a life that I know isn't the life God has for me. My heart and mind is being pulled in so many different directions that I don't even sleep. I just wish God speak to me, reveal something, anything, to help me maintain hope.

SAY SOMETHING

So much has happened.
My life is so unsteady.
I'm holding my breath..
because if I breathe,
out goes my fresh air.
I'm back to the pollution...
The profanity, insanity, misery, anger..
Filthiness I call life.
Living but not really living.
Often side tracked by this thing called, temptation.
My mind at different locations,
never fully focused on the important destination.
Which is God!
I know with Him my heart is safe.
But sometimes I feel He has forsaken it.
I'm pleading my case,
but the Judge isn't listening to any word I say.
I'm left without any conviction..
Not sure what is my sentence.
So I lash out.. acting out!
I just want God's attention.
I just want to know if He's still listening.
Say something God!
I need some reassurance.

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COMMENTS


		love_supreme says: Wow, this sounds like a solemn place. poems by this commentor Dear Universe Black Lives Matter I Live
		Ak Rio says: Niice poems by this commentor I'm Not Invincible Sin City Ammunition
		Phenomenal Paris says: Thanks poems by this commentor Maybe I Will Learn Poetryhead Intervention My Breath of Fresh Air

OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY Phenomenal Paris

I Can't Breathe

I can't breathe as the bullets pierced through my melanin skin

I can't breathe as the devil's knee rest on the back of my neck

I beg and I plead

I can not breathe

I lay on this hard surface knowing my death is awaiting me

My true crime being a person of color

Society will paint this monstrous picture of me

Title it, "THE LIFE OF A CRIMINAL"

They will say I had it coming

The n*gger should have listened

The n*gger should have not been resisting

People will demand justice for my death then my name will fade and be forgotten

Because another black death is on the horizon

I can't breathe

I am suffocating in a world in which I am the prey being hunted like some animal

My lifeless body is their prize

I can't breathe as the life leave my eyes

I can't breathe

Searching

I am searching for the light surrounded in darkness

a different path beside between a rock and a hard place

That warm gentle hug that melts the stress away

I am searching for that Godly love

That unconditional love I am searching for life that make death flee

I am searching for joy that smiles at me every time

I am searching for the remedy that heals all wounds

I am searching for certainty

Always able to pick and choose

Does not manipulate

does not control

Is not envious nor is it boastful

Casting out hate not with hate but with love

The kind of love that liberates

The very thing God has promised

the very thing he has placed within me

I am no longer searching because now I have seen

The love I have been looking for has always live within me

I am the essence of love

love conjure through me

Black King's Love

The Black King's love is the cure that society is trying to tarnish. So they poison the Black Queen's mind with all these lies. "Good Black Men do not exist.... it is all a myth." So they say. They beat the Black King down and portray him as a monster. The Black Queen is frightened and does not want to trust him. The Black King is stripped of his pride and his honor. All because society knows the power the Black King's love bestows.

Time

A man is still a man, rather he is foolish or wise determines how he is defined. With time comes wisdom. Wisdom takes time. Time can not be rushed. So stop watching the clock before time passes you by. For time does not stop. Enjoy those special moments while there is still time. Time is a precious gift that's given so be careful how you share it. Never abuse the time someone has invested because that is time now wasted. Time will forever be time, there is no way of changing it.

Maybe I Will Learn

Tell me you do not want me Tell me you was only using me Tell me you never cared for me Then maybe I will learnÂ You were just too good to be true How many tears must I cry before my eyes stop looking for you How many times must my heart break before I stop loving youÂ How many times will you lie before my mind stop believing in youÂ What will it take for me to realize I deserve better than you I love you, my actions are the proof that my feelings are true Are you too blinded to seeÂ I am the She in your dreams I should tell you I am leaving no longer can I stay I should tell you the same lies I should inflict the same pain Then maybe you will learn you have the queen that speaks to the king in you Maybe you will learnÂ you have something good with me Today is the day I learned you are not worthy of me Your heart was never meant to be with me Today will be the day you learn my love you can no longer keep Today is the day I ...

He

He walks in the imagine of God

He is the angel sent from above

To love

To nourish

To cherish

He see me as the Queen I am

I see the King in this man

He prays with me

He prays for me

He and I are connected spiritually

He lay his head upon my lap

for he knows I am his comfort

I lay my head upon his chest

for I know he is my protector

He speaks with authority

This man is anointed by the one true King

When I look at him

I feel God's love through He

He inspires me,

little does he know

I will give him my heart

for He feels like home

I am able to love freely

because his love for me is unconditionally

He caresses my mind

He make love to me mentally

But he is only a ...

Vindicated

Practice what you preach before you come preaching to me.
See,
I'm the type of person that exposes your congregation to the truth.
Now your whole church
see through you.
Throw me into a lion's den,
the next day I'm vindicated.
You're Saul
and I'm David,
we both know who is
the true king in this situation.

To Be or Not To Be

He says he loves me
but only when it is a convenience.
I say I love him too
but only when I have no one else to say it to.
I'm his midnight fling
while he is my man
when my man and I are going through.
Always my second best
while I am
always the bottom of his list.
I ask to have his kids,
he ask for my hand.
Just a little game we like to play.
Commitment is just one of those phases we dare not faces
but he nor I are willing to walk away.
Maybe it is love that allows us to stay
Maybe it is the fear of loving that allows us to stray

Forever Tomorrow

I get so caught up in my emotions
my mind over flowing
with words that my mouth seem to never own
My heart I built a wall around it
numbing my feelings for the moment
Emotionless
Risk less,
never do I want my heart ripped out of my chest again
By a man
By a friend
By my mother
By my father
Love is just a word without the action that follow
I want one's heart I can have
not one's heart I can borrow
The heart that will love me today and forever tomorrow

Dear Hennessy

Dear Hennessy,

Why must you come between my relationship

Why must you poison the mind of the man I love?

Becoming a monster when he is drunk

Trepidation engulfs me when I see those blood strain eyes looking back at me

Preparing myself for this verbal beaten when I hear anger in his speech

Tears rolling down my face

A cry for him to see I am not his enemy

Saying a silent prayer,

"God please help me to only see the good in this man.

Please reveal to him, my heart is in his hands."

Trying not to let this pain turn into hate

Telling myself, "You need to have faith.

For tomorrow will bring the man you love."

How can I forget those words lingering in my mind?

Scattering my heart every time

Fighting to hold on to my love

my passion

my admiration

for the man who lives within me

but I only feel disgust

...