I am a poet

To keep myself from Falling...

To  keep  myself  from  falling,
I  must  write, I  must  release, this  ugly
inner  beast  from  choking  the  life  from  my emotions
I  can't  focus,
I'm possessed  with  the  guilt  of  my transgressions,
I  feel  held  down  to  bed,  not  able  to  even
stretch  my  legs....
Constantly  thinking  of  an  out,
But  my  mind  refuse  to  show  me  the  answers,
Guilt,  and  shame  is  what  it's  giving  me
Screaming  at  me, taunting  me  with  truths,
Reinforcing  the  clear  fact  of  me  being  the very  worst
enemy, 
I'll  ever  come  acr...

I'm Sorry

I been the victim of this, numerous times, When did I start breaking hearts? When did I start being iniquitous? Turning malicious into a word, black and totally vicious... I'm a bi*ch and I get it! I've turned your world into a waiting pool, As I sat by watching you rot in it... I seen the flies of my lies swarming on top of you, I knew the truth of my deception would scorch you, Yet I kept it around watching untouched, as you burned to the ground

As wrong as I was, I would still conjure up the image of both our hearts, and swear to myself I was in love... You were like some unattainable paper containing multiple prescription drugs I was addicted, I mean you invaded all thoughts, All my cerebrum activity, involved thoughts of you with me... You were my escape, Another illusion I mistaken as some form of fate, I knew deep down that I will never be with you, But instead of stepping on the platform of real women hood, the little child inside promis...

I am a poet

I am a poet
My thoughts shrink itself into letters,
symbolizing each of my words,
I make every meaning sing inside,
The tender curve,
Of my pen stroke
I invoke letters
To wet your emotions
Until you feel my agony!
Until you feel the sweltering fire,
bringing hell to my soul!
My alphabets shout out, when I'm in Danger
Of spinning in a way one can't control!
I word, 
my words in thee most scrupulous care,
I am the Empress of my poetry,
I give it all I have,
And only then does my suffering 
Dissipate, into my stanzas...
Only then, am I the God of my own universe,

and my mind is the creation of all answers

Only then does the radiation, flow inside my open veins,

killing away Fear's cancer...

Only then, am I able to savor
Life's moment,
Which is,
A huge amount of what ...

My own Hell

My own Hell

I can never completely miss,
the suffering
Constant  infliction of torment
That bundles me up as it's baby,
 It lowers me in a fiery state of mind, where no one can save me...

I agonize over events I no longer can
Control,
Individuals that abandoned my circle
Especially the ones I once gave my
Earth 2...
Old friends voices, turning foreign 
Understanding
Their separation, and envy
Was monopolized by a jealous ass...
Whom I would love to ***ing choke,
Ring her spirit from her traitorous
Little throat..

Hate sings a lullaby, loneliness rock me 2 bed...
fear hovers over me,
possessing me,
Uncontrollably,
levitating over sweaty
Sheets, until I cry myself into a restless sleep,
Because, I hungered for a love ocean deep,
And yes, my bait cau...

The after noon sun

The afternoon sun

How many days have 
I stared at my ceiling?
With sadness lining my pupils,
With hopelessness in my expression
And loneliness in my heart.
Held back tears shinning with regret and sorrow
Not exactly anticipating tomorrow.

But very much indeed,
tomorrow comes,
It is the beat of the risen sun,
the most beautiful creature out of all our sons.
We marvel, as his crystal hands gently
Stroke his wooden drum stick.

He's the next day,
A day of reminders, 
Constant
Thoughts,
thoughts of perfect guys i never
get,
Places i never dared went
And awesome friends that not really in my "real" circle,
Holding tight to its reputation time flys quickly by,
That perfect scenario,I held in my head,the night before, never comes,
He never comes!
He just never do.

Sigh!

Week by weeeeeeee...