The monkey on my back

misunderstood

........

I'm strongest in my weakest moment.

PAIN

thats a bullet i will BITE

Thats a bullet ive seen all to well.

even thou im tired i will fight.

like a lion in the jungle im ready to strike.

theres a star in the sky for every tear drop i have given...

 just like the sun i rise again and keep living,

passion is a fire that to can become dim

...only one thing in this world

feels better then sin,

LOVE

every aspect of it

in love i can live

breath

just exsist

threw love comes pain

this is why i resist.

i want to find the one worth suffering for

a brocken heart like mine

wants to suffer no more..

you intrieged by my physical allure

mentally your not willing to exsplore

this is why i must have more...

depth in a conversation

i wa...

WHAT WOMEN WANT!!

... i want you to see pass my physical look me deep in my eyes an know that i am hurt. i want you to feel my pain... put it in reverse. i want you to show me that there is still good in love... i don't want that no good love, that hood love, sometimes i don't even know if i love... i want you to be real!! i want to understand how you think i want to be entwined in your mind that we speak the same thing at the same time i want you to pick up where i left off and finish my lines.. i know you see the broken PEICES of my heart on the grown... don't be like everyone else an walk around.. ben down pick it up.. give me love until i have had enough... love me for i am women an there is much to be loved!

TOAST TO US!!

that dead beat screams loud in the am im a single mommy so y'all feel what im saying... lonely nights are never few and for between but my dreams is filled with how to get these means... my baby got to eat that dead beat keep screaming I thought I new love until I woke up realize I was dreaming. for that short moment i bought the dream you sold.. i must thank you thou.. you made my life whole even thou we are incomplete every thought i have is of my baby and her needs.. i wish i knew you was a boy before we made a seed.. that's just the cookie im gone have to eat let the crumbs fall where they may.. just know your child will be ok. she always gone eat  not need for nothing im all she need ill drop everything and come running. ill be her daddy cause he cant protect us... when he neglected us. deadbeat always sing the same tone.. why flash yah money for those hoes in the saloon.. do what you do daddy my seed and i wove our own cocoon.. yea we may struggle but m...

Zion Ivee my angel

Z.Ivee I see pure love in your eyes your touch is so simple yet it warms my soul. i live for those sloppy baby kisses you so happily land on my cheek.. i am so happy to wake up next to beauty everyday of the weak.. you have no words..i still love to here you speak. the first moment God gave me you  I knew my soul had a reason to be free. i see those baby gums cause you smile from cheek to cheek... your smile makes me weak.. something so beautiful had to be touched by GOD i never knew a love like this My God. the softness of your hair and the smoothness of your skin.. the love in your giggle all can from me with in.. motherhood has no end at first i didn't know where to begin now that your here i know real love.. that will never end.

To my lovely Daughter... you don't even know how much i love you and haw much you existence means to me baby... mommy love you !!

WHAT A MAN WANTS

The monkey on my back

temptation only temps those who wish to abstain. change is constant sometimes so is pain. i fight my demons but sometimes i am fallayed. shamed i still walk threw the valley of death with this monkey on my back.. i try an get him off but he comes right back. me vs myself its like white vs black good vs evil this is life... those are facts. sex money murder.. the code they die by,live for. i want more. life off tract.

blinded by the lies but the truth will turn your heart black. so lie to me lie to me so sweet i don't ever want to imagine... that under that big smile and soft touch your soul is lost in the clutch.

staring death in the eyes as he glides between my thighs....

i tried to fight this demon.. but i landed on my back.. his gentle caress, the touch of his finger tips on the small of my back.. sex is my crack he is my pipe. it all comes alive at night.

7 A.M..

theres a new sun... but my mind is on the last moon.

go

lifted off the thought of us or what was. thinking we was more  then what we really was..call me delusional or call you a character who played pretend with my already broken heart.these damn pieces that never remain mended has me conflicted...why interrupt my flow of life. change it. then remove and important piece. theirs no peace. why me.go. before these white wall become red with DNA. go before i lose my pride. beg you to stay. stay. you know you love me.. well atleast i love you. thats enough for the both of us.

real talk.

.

damn baby i think you cute i like the color of your eyes and the twist of your hips imagine what i can do to you if i got you in my grips... so we dip.. yea we moving fast... we dont give a sh!t. now you waking up to breakfest and its like you damn there moved in.. i dont care i like the attention of men... since daddy never gave me any... ill endulge in this sin. days down the line i think im falling in love... got butterflies in my stomach and i crave your touch... confused much? cause that sound like lust... im so into you i even let you bust.. i barley even know you but i gave you all my trust... just cause the was good and i fein your touch... i thought i loved you until "she" picked up... we sat and talked conversation ended in disgust how can i fall so deep in lust to not give a ***... or was it just cause you wanted me when i didnt want myself.. now im feeling nausous what the *** is up with my health. congradulations mommy..... everybody happy but ...

A Sinners Prayer.

As I lay me down to sleep I pray to God my Weary Soul to keep. This world is cold and half yall are creep..forgive me father for the wholes in my soul are deep im just tryna make it in this world that wasnt made for me.... heavinly father forgive me for my insecurities i know im spose to hold on to your words but amongst the sound of the flesh it seems so bleak so if i die before i wake please father open up those pearly gates. i am a sinner but even out of sin love can be made. even gesibel and abraham you forgave.. even in my darkest hour i still see your steps..if i get to heavin plaese clean my heart from regret. amen.