So depressed
My actions just cause more stress But in the moment i dont care I just dont wanna be here I want to be left alone But my mind doest seem like homeIm so tired of this I dont know what to do always pissedAlways wanna feel numb Dont really care if i end up like a bumMy emotional state is so fragile I juat want someone to notice and help But i do this to my selfSo good at putting on these masks No one can master the taskOf understanding me My mom dont even see Not like she caresTheres only hate and regret here Lost relationshipNo one can salavage it Been tryin for yearsBut all shes hears Is the problemsComplanes, with no way to solve them Putting her stresses on me Its no wonder why i smoke this weed I messed my life up Put myself in this rut I wanna get out I really do i just dont know howAnd when i ask for help They tell me i got it by myselfNO NO I F****N DONTIf yall leave me to do this alone I wont come out alive Maby alive but just to survive Make beleive im so strong That bull is all wrong Im so weak Trying to save myself but im on the peak I want help so bad But i have these trust issues cause of my dad I hate myself I deseirve to go to hellFor how selfish i am Becoming just like "uncle sam" I wish i could be better No matter what with me its stormy weather Im just complaning with no solution Thought it would be better once i moved in I wish i could just die now My life serves no help I know people would be sad But their problems wpuld be erased off the pad Feel like i serve no puropse Nothing is what it looks like on the surface Hate how i look Try not to be but im always guna be a crook Now i done cryed all my teares Faced all these fears None of it matters tho Cause tomarrow when i wake up itll be the same old show
Justformine
 5600
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if i could die now
CATEGORY
life
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COMMENTS
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hymnagen says: The loss of your poetic voice would be tragic. I pray you find a way to conquer this depression and keep blessing us with verse. |
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Justformine says: Thank you. |
OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY Justformine
AbsurdityA writers soul I dont think we ever feel whole Trying to escape the feeling These emotions Im trying to gather, reeling Theres a void in my heart I dont know when it did start Nothing seems to satisfy me anymore When I think about it, did it really ever before Trynna sleep, looking at the wallsWalk around a house with empty hallsFull of people but theres no love Keep searching for help above Keep losing myself I really need some help Whats the point of all this Marriage, kids?Money, carsAll that doesnt seem that hard no one understands I have goals but no plans They hear my words In there head they think in absurdThink it just made up fun time But this is my heart and soul nothing but the truth in my rhyms |
WORTH IT!Why do we always compete We nver feel complete Even if we dont care We're well aware Of all the judggment Im just being myself, your acting like ive commited a sin It all stems from when we were kids WAY before we started smokin mids We made fun of what was diffrent To young to know better Our mouths were to clever Not relizing we just changed someones outlook Just because they did'nt have the same look Still trying to shake this bad habbit Catch myself judging someones outfit I know better But when im feeling under the weather I stop careing And who am I to talk? I get up and dont even look at what im wearing I know god has a plan for me Hes planted the seed ... |
if i could die nowSo depressed My actions just cause more stress But in the moment i dont care I just dont wanna be here I want to be left alone But my mind doest seem like homeIm so tired of this I dont know what to do always pissedAlways wanna feel numb Dont really care if i end up like a bumMy emotional state is so fragile I juat want someone to notice and help But i do this to my selfSo good at putting on these masks No one can master the taskOf understanding me My mom dont even see Not like she caresTheres only hate and regret here Lost relationshipNo one can salavage it Been tryin for yearsBut all shes hears Is the problemsComplanes, with no way to solve them Putting her stresses on me Its no wonder why i smoke this weed I messed my life up Put myself in this rut I wanna get out I real... |
BOWIm lost dont know where im headed Just trynna pay all my dues that are debeted I miss my n***a jay I just wanna hear him say hey Locked in a cellI know to him it feels like hellI aint been writing like i shouldI would if i couldGotta do for my people who cant To gether we standIf we aint got eachouthes backSomeone gon get us w. That gat I promise you that My loyalty runs deepOut my mouth ypu wont ever hear a peepJust the sound of me creepThatll be the last thing you hearMy face you'll see in the rearOver my peoples i really do not care |
Life..man..They tell me stop smking and ill achive greatness What they dont know is all my deep dark secretes All the i choose to forgetMakes me to upsetSomedays i have to give in Let myself sulk and cry within Sometimes this weed is the only thing keeping me sane They dont beleive me all thats going on in my brain Not saying i shouldn't quit Alot of the times i jist wanna hit itStart a whole new life Not worried about the price Or what its gunna takeWhos gunna hate Life seems hopeless Honestly theres no use for me to suger coat thisSo for me to hold on to hope is a desperate situation I self medicate without hesitation Ive tried it without the drug That shieet aint no shrug If you were to see how i was You'd understand why i just cant quitAll this is legit I mean im just trying to keep my head above water Everyday it just ge... |
late night torcherIt sucks when im alone In bed at home These late nights are a killer I know they say i should be realerTheres something that just holds me back Trynna keep my mind on these racks You always pop in there somewhere When i see you i just want to stareI hate myself for being this way I get butterflys everytime you say hey But i cant bring my self to itSometimes i wanna just say screw itAnd do itPour my heart out to you Let you know everything i say is trueWhats there to lose A friendship? Oh boohoo I should be the one to choose Ill take YOU shopling for some shoesAll that yOU been torough I can be there for you You just gotta let meMe see I just gotta tell you But i never will Im just keepin it real This is how i feel. |
What is this world?What has our generation come to? Our lives consist of money drugs sex nothing trueEven if we want to live simpleMoney we need that just to survive a littleWe stress about cash flowWe can try not to but we always stressin over some hoeThis is where the drugs come into play What ever we choose, feels like it gets us through the dayShopping, food, lust, sex, "love", pills, and weedWhatever your addiction, whatever you feel you needWhy do we do thisPut our selfs in the pitsI can't get over the fact That they pass these kids who fail the damn FCATWe're supposto help our children Not let them run wild and sinTheir crying out for our helpThat's why they throw fits and yellBabies havin babies can't even help themselfsThese kids are raising themselfs Seems like we're to far goneThe whole world is wrongEven in the churches... |
Is it dreams or nightmares?Run up in your house Quite as a mouse Take all yo ish Then hit your bish With my AK Better hope ion spray Like I do on them crackas They already know im faster Hollywoods most wanned Now im locked up so I get taunted That street life aint where its at That life you livin by the gat It aint cool Youll just end up in a pool... Of blood And all they gon do is shrug Way to many thugs They children aint gettin no hugs This world is ruthless Crackheads walkin about toothless Me.. I just wanna be somebody Not just anybody Respect is what I disire the most Best beleive thats what I'll get before I croke |
Lost ChildhoodDreams of a lost childhood The result of a child from the hood Drunkin mother Drug addicted father What was exected of me Way to much for me to reach No concence What im dealin right now is nonsence Victim emthey I dont think thats gunna work for me Cause when I was livin on the streets Aint nobody had that for me No place to sleep Somewhere quite to count sheep Or what about when I had to take care of myself Way befor the age of 12 First night my baby sister came home Insted of being able to roam I had to save her life If I haddent steed in she just might.. Be dead My mom shot in the head These are all possiblitys Of what I could possobley see Didnt want that street ;life But just like that f... |
HonestAlways trying to make someone laugh Maby because if not you'd just crash Thirteen years old Already so bold Stand up to anyone Thrn right after say a pun On the outside no one could see You were just trynna be Likeabul.... Feel like your unlovebul Into this now I put my heart and soul Im not trynna fit in anymore Yes these wounds are still sore I dont care anymore Dont like me then leave Im not hiding under the sleeve So much denial Even after the trial Still to this day Im ashamed to say Its hard to be honest with yourself really Contplating life smoking ciggretts in the back of my grandparents ally Now I finally honestly do see Wh... |