Suicidal Pt. 7

The Heart's Deception

is this just another one of of my ramblings?

no, it doesn't seem to be from where i'm standing

i'm just looking for answer and an understanding of the concepts of trust and affection

but i can barely seem to get your attention

and when i try to be angry at you, i can't focus because i'm flustered by your complexion

i'm not scared of dieing nor am i scared of being killed

i've accepted the fact that if my heart gets another crack in it my blood will be spilled

i act like my tolerance for pain is at its maximum

i've told myself so many lies that my thought process is becoming irrational

bad situations have made me more complacent

your silence has led me to speak

i barely mean anything to you, but you mean so much to me

you know my problems because i pour my heart out in these poems

feelings are seeds and it's difficult for me to grow them, 

because the light in my he...

Perspective

i see a lot of beauty from this perspective

my feelings towards you are relentless

the view is astonishing 

you disrupt my train of thought

im speechless and left in awe

words dont come out, and theres things i havent spoken

lets make a strong connection in our adolescence

be my partner on my search for for peace and truth

cause real talk a lot of my recurring thoughts are about you

damn Bonnie you're a beautiful

im a truth seeker, truth speaker, admirer of your inner and outer beauty

then again im just a n*gga, sinner, poetic killer 

Clyde? me? na please

my cold heart is slowly melting 

like the wax of a candle

if i ever give in to the negativity and im broken and dismantled

i hope you're the first to take those pieces and reassemble-

them to their original form

you down for that?

cause im down to sew you back toge...

BELOVED HATRED

let me be myself

let me speak my thoughts openly

and let me openly and totally enter your mind

and hopefully ill find-

that grief that’s holding you back

and give you any type of relief before you have a relapse

STOP! STOP! STOP! HOLD THE *** UP!

what was up there is what i usually write

but forget that it’s time to address some things in my life

is it wrong that i promote happiness, but don’t have it myself?

was i only i only made to be in a depressive state since 2012?

the dull expression on my face has become so common some people can’t tell if i’m happy or not

let me tell you right now that i am not

if you see me smiling during the day.

don’t get it twisted

as soon as i’m by myself that expression fades

DON’T YOU DARE ***ING JUDGE ME!

if you do then it could get...

Look At Me Now

i would’ve never thought of being a poet 3 years ago, i hated writing

now i do it on the daily, it’s my way of fighting

writing wasn’t on my mind until Kendrick came into the picture

i heard “Poetic Justice” and that introduced me to this genre of literature

look at me know, “PoeticallyGifted”

spreading peace and love through poetry and instagram pictures

i’m promoting happiness

through my sixth sense

if you just want to end it all right now

or trying to live another yesterday tomorrow when you barely made it through today

read one of my ghetto literary masterpieces based on life experiences

“life experiences make the best lyricists”

and tell me you won’t feel some type of way

tell me you won’t be able to make it through another day

let me put a smile on your face

Suicidal Pt. 7

here we go suicidal part 7

for years i’ve been praying and have no responses from heaven

im done

*** love

Cupid, you can suck my d**k

i feel lonely in a room full of people

i just need a hint of inti-

macy

love is a waste of time until proven otherwise

life is too short to not realize

that life is worthless if its unenjoyable

most of the time i wish my life’s cruelness and utter bullsh*t was disposable

i try to keep my faith strong

but what is there to have faith on?

suicidal thoughts come naturally like they’re rehearsed

can you feel the pain in a poetic verse?

every time i get up i fall down even worse

life always hits me where it hurts

i walk around trynna keep a smile up

i can’t accomplish that, i let myself down

don’t ask me what’s wrong

116 UNASHAMED

wrong is wrong,

and right is right

but for quite some time

in my mind

right was wrong,

and wrong was right

my conscience is messed up

you want my spot? step up

yeah, im a man on a mission

to fix your distorted or hazy vision

my faith is strong,

that’s how ive made it this far

if you know me, then you know how i do this

aint nothing better than someone who has a message in their music

at any given moment i could be hit with a death sentence

im trying to make the best of this-

life

i refuse to go down without a fight

i need a full restoration and reparation of my unrighteous soul

im sorry for not doing was i was told Lord

you gave me forgiveness i didn’t ask for

far from innocence

but with this poetic gift you have given

i am trying to make a d...

Blessed

damn, i just smoked this roach

im about to hit you with some peace and wisdom, *** the pope

my life is verbally untold

through this pen is where it flows and unfolds

grab onto this hemp rope so from a land of no hope i can continually pull you up

im gonna make this life work, you continue being the runner-up

you know what’s good right now? life

my faith is strong, I’m smoking good and I’m feeling good when I write

thank God for seeing me through another day

i have the weight of life on my shoulders, but im still standing up straight

Romans 1:16:

“For i am unashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believeth…”

this is the verse that i live by every day

my philosophy of “God, Weed, and Poetry” is the basis of my faith

i got so many people that i ...

IRRELEVANT CRITICISM

intoxicated by lies and hate

i’m going at this in a fast pace

i’m gonna go places, and in your eyes maybe i’m not

*** your opinion, i’m ready to show others what I got

you haven’t put the effort in

you don’t know what it’s like living with-

the constant fear of ending up unsuccessful

it’s so hard to think about it, it’s honestly too stressful

i want to grow up and be happy with the outcome

i want to have fans who know my story and where I come from

i ain’t nothing yet, but I hope to be

i want to survive on good vibes and poetry

honestly, your criticism is irrelevant

my God up in heaven-

has blessed me

i thank him every day, because poetry has changed my life completely

i want to be received,

by a proud family

i’ve been ***ing up all my li...

Late Nights Pt. 2

Suicidal Pt. 6 (God, Weed, and Poetry)

turn the lights off

leave me in the dark

to contemplate with my mind and heart

how long has this lasted?

i have absolutely had it

up to this point I could hold it in, but it hurts

i wish I had 3 wishes like Aladdin

my mind is going through drought and famine

my mental state is crashing to the floor

you don’t know me behind my closed door

after my cousins death (may he Rest in Peace)

i made and started following my own philosophy

“God, Weed, and Poetry"

something i have to start following again for the rest of my days

just thinking about it puts a smile on my face

it made me happy, for a while i actually was

but now i’m sitting in the dark

playing with my old lighter

is this when a lover turns into a fighter?

should i just set my work on fire?

i’m tired, i...