It seems as if my life is in shambles. I've stripped myself away from my family, to complete a sanction I can no longer handle. I find myself thinking the unthinkable, writing the unspeakable. I'm feeling really high sprung, with no one to listen to my unworldly problems. So, I feel myself growing more and more unstable.
It seems as if someone pulled a lever in my head, like my lowerself is beginning to prevail, and growing stronger the more I repel. When I talk to you and express myself, I want you to know it's genuine and real. Although, when you tell me you love me, in the beginning I believed you. Now it's getting harder to tell. Please help me figure out if I should believe my unsavory thoughts, or should I believe what is in my heart. All I know is, I'm falling apart.
It seems impossible for me to find the bread crumbs that will lead me back home. Everyone tells me to stay strong, but no one says for how long. My life is put on hold, while you and everyone else's continues to move on. I'm losing my grasp unto you, and myself for I have no control. Day after day, night after night, I feel myself growing more and more unstable.
conjones
 2500
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unstable
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OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY conjones
seven whole days7 days, 7 nights, 7 wrongs, 0 rights, 7 fights, 7 times we both done cried. 7 truths, falsified by 7 lies. 7 different questions, with the same reply. 7 silent mornings, divided into 7 intense hours. 7 painful evenings, hearing 7 hurtful meanings, that is slowly eating away at both of us. 7 whole days thrown away, just to hear one of us say,"Baby hold on, look this is silly." I love you, I'm sorry I put you threw this, and I was wrong for not saying so 7 days ago.  |
unstableIt seems as if my life is in shambles. I've stripped myself away from my family, to complete a sanction I can no longer handle. I find myself thinking the unthinkable, writing the unspeakable. I'm feeling really high sprung, with no one to listen to my unworldly problems. So, I feel myself growing more and more unstable. It seems as if someone pulled a lever in my head, like my lowerself is beginning to prevail, and growing stronger the more I repel. When I talk to you and express myself, I want you to know it's genuine and real. Although, when you tell me you love me, in the beginning I believed you. Now it's getting harder to tell. Please help me figure out if I should believe my unsavory thoughts, or should I believe what is in my heart. All I know is, I'm falling apart. It seems impossible for me to find the bread crumbs that will lead me back home. Everyone tells me to stay strong, but no one says for how long. My life is put on hold, while you and everyone else's continu... |
The way you look at meHi! That is the first thing that goes threw my mind, when we become face to face, as your eyes gleamed into mine. Enchanted by your aura, that sends a tingling sensation threwout my body, like a volt of electricity. As if my soul is releasing a signal telling me that you are the chemistry, that completes my 360 degrees. Can you feel the swelling in your chest, the shortness of breath, the watery taste that will not go away, until we finally embrace? Do you hear the yearn from within the feel of victory being replenished? Relinquishing love threw out your entire system, holding onto them last couple of seconds. Thinking there is more to take, so you stop and wait until your conscious tell you, it is ok to separate. Yes, I know how you feel, because I feel it just the same. Now, look at me and kiss me again.' |
face of struggleThey call me a risk taker, because I choose to elevate at a rapid rate, no matter what the stakes may be. I try to move with swiftness, at times it seems effortless, even to me. They call the place I live a jungle, so that makes me a contender to become KING. Who am I? The face of struggle, the streets is where they breed the thoroughbreds like me. I had to fight threw out my life. Respect isn't given, its earned so I had to get mine. A prison term is certain, its only matter of time. My odds of success are a million to one, although I continue to try. The odds of death before my time, are one in five. I believe I can make it out the streets, with very little doubt in my mind. Im not a stranger to a life of struggle, its success and wealth I'm trying to find. |
Will u (accept me as I am)Will u be able to accept me exactly how u see me? Not what I tried to preceive to be. Without the fancy clothes, expensive cars, and rolls of money. Do u think u can look beyond my faults? Now that my imperfections are revealed, and all my shine has been dissolved. Can u be there for me in my time of need? As u acknowledge the fact that all I have to offer u is; my heart, mind, and soul, for that's all that is left of me. Will u continue to stand beside me? Defend me when others constantly try to be little me? Or will u fall back, and use my infidelity as a reason to leave? Can u see the sincerity that bleeds threw the words u read? Or was your affection for me all a mirage? If u was in front of me right now, would u be able to look me in my eyes? Will u be willing to support me in my quest to turn my life around? What if I told u, I love u and the streets and I are done? Would u believe me? Can I put my trust in u to see this threw? Would u be wil... |
windowsillI hear the silence of the night. I see the light in the sky as the rain begins to fall. I tried to envision if they are tears of pain, or the tears of joy that's running down my windowsill. When all of a sudden, with a flash of lightning and a crackling of thunder, your face appeared as if I was looking in a two way mirror. With the rain against the glass, it appeared unto your face as if they were actual tears. I closed my eyes, and counted to ten, hoping when I finished the reflection would disappear. Instantly it did, only to view myself with streams of tears in my own eyes, and not a mere illusion falling down my windowsill. That is when I realized it wasn't meant for me to be here. It wasn't joy hitting against my window, pouring down my windowsill, but pain that tapped and ran slowly down the glass. Taunting me, yet showing me how long this pain could last. Leaving me with a feeling, I never imagined I would feel. Lost in the image inside my window, as the rain drops fell u... |
soulja storyI'm a soulja, but not the kind you see fighting a war over seas, for a man that they may never meet. My war is on my own land, my battlefield is called the streets. Like a ordinary soldier, I'm fighting to be free, I'm fighting to survive. But in the end, there won't be a purple heart for bravery or a respectful funeral if I die. The only thing waiting for me are, the pearly gates, or a pit of fire. If I am captured at any point in time, I will be beaten, confined, await the right to a prejudged trial, and sentenced to a injustice crime, for a ridiculous amount of time. All because, the people that don't stay in my part of town, heard about what goes down. Then makes a decision for the sake of his children, not mine, that I am unfit for society! Why? Because I'm not a pedophile, or don't believe the words of public officials? Because you can't have a bake sale, or charity for the police department in my hood like the rich people. Its not about what race you ar... |
Be a manI was raised by my mother, and bless her heart she done all she could. My father wasn't there, so I embraced the ones that pretended to care. The robbers, dealers, pimps, hustlers, thugs, and gang members. They taught me to love something that never intended to love me back. I paid attention, accepted the lessons each one was teaching. I respected them cats. I love the game! I love my hood, the smell of the streets, and the set I claim. But the reality of it all, that I fail to understand, none of that made me a man. Instead of any one of them,being a man and saying stay in school, don't do what I do. You can be anything, but what you see in the hood. Respect every woman like you respect your own mother. When the time comes for you to have children, make sure them children have a father! Instead why bother teaching me the positives. While you provide me with a little of your time, your children remain fatherless. Naw, you think its cool to have nice cars and fine chicks on your ... |