Boy next door...on the block

For ANDREW

My Alpha male, my dom, my bad boy
you radiate with confidence
natural born leader, hustler, smooth talker
make moves with a purpose
Confident but not y
protective but not controlling 
opinionated but respectful 
wise but you listen
In every way you are ingenuity, genuine and authentic

vomitvomit

I fell in love with a boy who filled my soul with anger, which resorted in to revenge on every boy that wasnt him,man had me so ***ed up that anything over 6 feet light skin light eyes slim built with long hair was feeling the raft of me but not him

had me cussing crying screaming over he did and im in a relationship with someone else yelling at them
you would say i probably wasn't ready and you probably right but i needed something to cope because if i would ran back to him he just would have opened his arms like he always do with a smile in his eyes saying i told you so

vomit

iam just not ready 
not ready to fully admit it to myself that i love you 
so i wont
because i know i would never love you the way you deserve 
so i try not to give you too much of time
i will act real nonchalant whenever you come around
whenever you want to meet up ill just say i am busy
i know i am not right for you so i wont say i love you, even if i do

Dear, Me

Dear little brown girl,

who was told she wasn't smart enough

who was told she was never good enough 

who was told she wasn't pretty enough

not worthy enough

not thin enough

not thick enough

not loud  enough

not black enough

* Dear Ayala,

you are smart 

you are amazing

you are worthy

you are beautiful

you are perfection 

you are shy but you shine

and your blackness roars among a crowd

Boy next door...on the block

When i first met you she had you on block bangin and selling dime bags powder and pills ***in with big toys that you would call your baby, until i became your lady, she started to hate and get jealous seeing that i just wasn't some regular hoe, i was her competition, she saw what impact i was starting to have on you she would never allow you to be happy while she was miserable because without you there be no her and she wouldn't allow the best thing that happen to her get taken away, so she plotted against you using a gun and bullet and being at the wrong place at the wrong time her little soldiers in your ear convincing you to make bad choices, opening your mind up to commit selfish acts that soon you will regret and once she is done with you she will move on the next, you will know be useless to her even though i had your love i didn't have all of it, i had to compete with her i always had to compete with her she was your first love and you were mine she see...