Not so long ago
I was highly reflective yet vindictive
To hatred and anger
I was extremely addicted!
They were my cocaine, my high
Most of you will laugh or sigh
I sit back and still wonder why
Why won’t anyone understand
If not you, then I!
I be
Who I be
Because of my life experience
Experienced mostly abuse & horrors
In the late and recent past, plus most likely tomorrow
I somehow still wallow
In sorrow
And I seek
For a single moment in time to borrow
Borrow a little sense of peace
Before I die and become decease
I do beg you please
I’m down on my knees
In the black forest
Wrinkling my khaki crease
The howling from afar
Has me now feeling hot breath down my neck
Oh what the heck
I feel the drops of my sweat
Why don’t you listen and just let
Let me be blessed
Rather than disdainfully stressed
Highly depressed
For so long I felt spiritually oppressed
My life turned out to be such a mess
I now decline & digress
Because of possible MS
Multiple Scars
Scars of my past, present and obvious future
My wounds have had no tourniquet
I was never offered a suture
Been shooting back at the shooters
While other guys chill out at hooters
I’m fighting my demons
And struggle every moment in time
Even struggle in my mind
To find words to connect the next line
It’s blowing my mind
To know my mortality is catching me
Seems like life itself is mad at me
Many souls would be glad for me
Enemies enjoy, to see me get destroyed!
And I’m just so annoyed
‘Cause nothing, yet fills this void.
I feel like a plague
That the world tries to avoid
Disavow and no longer bow
They ignore me
Seems like the angels of heaven abhor me
Yet I know that God can cure me
My skitzofrenic personalities
My pitiful soul cursing out at me
The tree shrubs just shrug
The leaves fall in the distance under the rug
Trees collapse into themselves and I now see the vortex
Seen clearly through my visual cortex
Now what’s next?
Struggle with self, and self, and I
At times I wanna die
At times my eyes get so sore
No more tears drop from my eyes
I still keep my head pointed up to the skies
I still question, when, what and why
Do you consistently deny
Why not let me fly
Fly economically and health wise
I have grown to despise
My soul dissipates
With my negative circumstances
And oh wait!
Here come more tears dropping from my eyes
I just don’t know
Where the wind blows
But do know life carries on
So why worry on
Why scurry on
I will die and no longer bleed
So I guess I just must concede!
SkTzO