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Her head is filled with deep tainted thoughts and confusion. She is living hell on earth and its not an illusion. She is over come with pain, fear, anger, and depression. Not even out her teen years and she questions.... Her life...her self-worth....her sanity....her imperfections.
As any other human she was not born saved. But her troubles started in her earlier days. She did not receive the fatherly love her friends fathers would display. She yearned for the love and attention a mother could not possibly bring.
While she was smart, beautiful and respectful, her standards for men did not match the same. She would willing put up with the vulgar words such as b***, h** and trick just to hear beautiful every other day.
Fast forward to her high school years when a stole her heart the whole thing lasted four years before he tore her a part. A part like how Jesus christ's arms stretched on the cross as he hung for 6 agonizing hours. Leaving with nothing but her innocents she vowed to never love again. She decided to attend college out of state and start her life all over again. Like how Jesus died for our sins.
Little did she know this would start the crumbling of her life. It all started October 8 that night a strange man ruined her life. As she walked with poise into the local Conner store five minutes later a man followed her out the door.
As she walked back to campus he try to spark a small conversation. Because she was not from town she replied with hesitation. Like Eve did when she was over powered with the apples pleasing temptation. Her pace began to escalate as she try to pursue her destination. He then grappled her with no plans of Emancipation. She screamed and kick but no one was there to witness her plea. He drug her into an abandond house and did as he pleased. She became the forbidden apple while he became the tempted eve.
He left her alone as she laid there and cried. The whole way home she asked god why. She sat in the shower and scrub away at her skin as if that would wash away the permanent memory that had been engraved by him.
Her life was stripped away within a few hours, she began to cope by cutting in the shower. The temple God created was now being destroyed she lost everything every little ounce of joy.
Two months later another tragedy was added in. her grandmother was diagnosed with cancer an given death sentence with a maximum of 16 months to live. She couldn't handle the problems in her life, from daddy issues to relationship issue to health issues to family issues alike, she skipped from cutting to pill popping just to sleep at night.
Nobody knew of her troubles not even her best friend or her mother. a year after these series of events she learned that she always had a father who loved her more than any man could love any woman. This father was there the whole time. She even unknowingly acknowledge him when she asked God why?
He made it clear in order to be saved you must be born in sin. He is Her healer, her provider, her love and her bestfriend. When she found him she never questioned her fathers...our fathers love again.
