Dear Past

Journey

Journey 

I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be

Pitch black darkness

Germinating in blackness 

Getting nourishment from the master

You just don't get it.

You had plans for me

Your nest was packed tight with religious beliefs

Jesus saves and yet I'm not free

You relent that I can't see

Yet I'm not blind 

Your the blind one leading me.

You see me as a puzzle

You try to force me into pieces where I don't fit

I let you once because I wanted to fit in

But now I'm not ok with being a Guinea pig

I'm on a journey that you can't comprehend.

You say I'm vulgar

Too open

Way too raw

You view me as broken

In need of fixing

But your mind is too small.

I ask questions

That you can't answer

The Dumb Chick (clean version)

The Dumb Chick

Don't be the dumb Chick who gets with a guy who shows you signs
That he cannot be trusted and he's wasting your time!
Don't be the dumb chick that thinks she can make him change
So you breaking down barriers and his stays the same.
Don't be the dumb chick who spreads her legs to try and keep THIS boy
Then you find him hitting up other chicks in his phone.
Don't be the dumb chick who even takes it THAT far
Where you go on a spying spree cause you got a FEELING
NO CHICK, that's those SIGNS slapping you in the face!
Don't be the dumb chick hitting up those hoes
Check his as* and then check YOURS!

Don't be the dumb chick that tells him all your secrets
Cause he'll see you as an emotional basket case
A PROJECT, not a woman worth KEEPING!
don't be the dumb chick that constantly brings up her ex
He's an ex for a ...

Due Dilligence

Reaction not coupled with wisdom is foolishness. To respond without knowledge is ignorance. We see with a glass half full. To know it all is a sure way to fall. I delight in my stumblings because slow and steady wins the race. I regret nothing, because much is built by making mistakes. Every voice heard is a lesson to be learned. To break down and digest, to go through the process and relent. We need voices to grow and go. I want wisdom and knowledge, they help me see. I am but a number in the masses of this sea. I am but a member of the boiling pot of the so called "Free" I don't get caught up in bigotry, hypocrisy and judgements of man. I press forward I look backwards to see how far I've come. My daughters are queens with halos of curly kings upon their crowns. My stomach has marks to show of my birthing  and pain. Like trees roots they tell a story of how long they remained. In my womb safe from harm until their heads pushed forth. So I p...

Victim.Villian.Victor

I gave my all to you- you lied. I tore down walls for you- you lied. I trusted you -you lied. I forgive you-I try. I forgive me -I'm lying. I saw the warnings- the signs. I gave you my body- I cried. I broke my promises -you won. I am a victim of your Games- RUINED.                                                    I called her -you mad? I peep game- you're lame! I hacked your Facebook- passwords changed! I hacked your phone records- had calls to make. I posted their pictures -I'm blowing up your spot. I got a new man- you don't know about that. You paying my bills- I'm spending your cash. you say you love me-I sit back and laugh. I'm a bitter - I want you to burn! No longer innocent- where have I gone. You say you never loved me- say what you want. I'm having your baby -daddy rolling stone. Now you wanna be a family-boy be...

Color of my Skin

The color of my skin tells a story within itself. Million man marches. Whites against blacks. Riots and taking a stand. Segregated schools. Hatred and slavery ruled. I wasn't there to witness these events. Yet my skin makes me kin. My skin makes me a target. The color of my skin seems to identify everything about me. WRONG. The color of my skin has little to do with my life. The color of my skin has made me a victim a time or two. I don't walk in fear. I don't walk with my head low. I don't fear for my life. Well you're a woman, little black boys should. My sons won't fear either. My sons will die one day and the sin will be on the cause. Whether white, black, plane, or health. I have more things to worry about than my race being gunned down. Call me selfish. They never wanted us here? Well I'm here. College here I come. Jobs here I come. I WRITE MY STORY. I do the work. I push past the barriers. I don't rally, I don't riot. I don'...

Purpose

Church Girl

Look at you Judas. Sitting in the pews. Smiling for the people. They don't know you. I'm sIster so and so. I sing on the praise team. I watch porn at night. I give hugs to the Pastor and his wife. I dig chicks on the side. I clean up the trash left by the church members. I play that R&B music that makes me get naked. Look at you Judas, nailing Jesus to the cross. You ain't holy, you ain't saved. I know your secrets. You can't hide them from me. You go to church wearing those granny panties. You go to church with the bible clutched to your sides. Your whole life is a lie. I thought you said Jesus forgives sins. You look mighty guilty. Feel that? It's called condemnation. You're a waste of creation. Hey church girl, I fully understand. You needed a savior. You needed a super man. God wants to be your Lord. That's going too deep. You want him to fix a flat. You want him to make your screw ups better. You want him when you want him, you're...

Wild Side

You rock me back and forth. You toss me to and fro. I watch as you laugh. I watch as you smile. Do you take me for a fool? Do you truly believe, that in me, you could see, a picture of strength? We make love, we make magic, I ride your apendage, I moan your name. I hide under mascara, the tears they rain, against my face. You've left the scene, your eyes a sheen. That high you reach, then you spill your seed your fruits release, inside of me. I groan and squirm, I'm right at the pinnacle, I climax and roll. Off your lap we're spent. Off your lap I choke...back...the...screams. This is the wild...side of my life. I sleep with you tonight...another in the morning...and another tomorrow. You leave money on the table...you go. I'm more than this. Im sore in between my legs. Your seed slides down my black thighs, your sweat strolls down my black ass, my hands fly to my head. The wig I throw across the room, the make up is hot on my face. Tonight I shower, tonight I dou...

Jericho Walls

"You might have had a late start, but it's a start. It was late, but when you arrive, it was meant to be YOUR time. No one can understand the struggle of pushing. You push past yourself. You're your biggest enemy. When you choose to move is when you choose yourself. Not all walls are meant to stand. Let the walls fall."
-"Jericho Walls" -T.Christine 2015

The Frustration

I'm overwhelmed with so much purpose with no ground to put it in. I'm frustrated with my days. I get no sleep at night. The creative juices keep flowing and yet the pipes are clogged. The old wine skins are bound to burst. I'm just tired of hearing "you have so much potential" and yet I don't know where to go to get help to cultivate the soil of my life. There is no greater defeat than dying with a pocket full of seeds. I want to see these things come to pass. God help me. I don't know how to help myself. - T.Christine 2015