Why am I dying to live if I am living to die, grew up screwed up no one gave a f**k I was cued up blew up seen some dollars everyone acted like they cared and they wanted to follow, lost it all rock bottom yeah it's hard to swallow, and everyday I wake I say it will get better with tommorrow, entourage gone and I don't care about home, wanna raise my daughters even if I have to alone, can't do it on my own, got anotheron the way I wanna see him full grown, what am I trying to see when there is nothing in sight, looking at the future with no vision is futile, worries on your mind is a good boost in morale, to me despair and fear is not only useful to a child it can be useful for a while, what am I trying to give and no one give me a try, not understanding the shoes you can't fit or walk in you get out what you put in I didn't make this world I was brought in why am I fighting to live if I am living to fight can't fight with yourself outcome and circumstances will be disasterous, I am so bastardous, it;s a battle within and it has to begin one of us got to end so one of us can win the ego from the conscience,
ElroyKen
 18200 
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Shadows Drift
CATEGORY
life
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COMMENTS
braymay88 says: Real talk...A1 guy ...This go hard... |
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braymay88 says: Real talk...A1 guy ...This go hard... |
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DallasCowgirl says: Always poignant |
OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY ElroyKen
Inmate of LoveCan't leave it's like I am tied to u, sorry for all the times that I lied to u, you kno that I'm gonna ride for u, I kno I got too much pride it's tru, u give me a different point of view, u were all me never thought we'll be thru, all the times ur love I would neglect, sorry for all the times u felt disrespect, talkin all jazzy out the side of my neck, out my body and out of order, and I was doing that sh*t in front of our daughters, I violated trust sh#t shaded gray, now I pay and now I pray, for ur return, I feel it already but I don't wanna let it burn, gonna earn u bac, I urn for what I lack, wish I could turn bac time, I was way out of line, I never could forget u was all me and how we shined, wined and dined, should be locked up cuz hurting u was a crime,  |
UnfollowingI look to u and you look right pass me, am I that transparent or have no notoriety, I think I am florescent highly, I get so fed up sick of society,and all the pressure ,all the lies and all their measure, and what they think things should be, this love was giving to me, I don't see the way they see I see a nine they see a six but they upside down, some think the earth is flat but I kno its round, imposing their will, encroaching my chill, I kno how to discern real from fake, I know these words can kill or can make u relate, so seals my fate, kno I am headed for hell but still hope God wont close the gate |
False WorshipPraising and idolizing the wrong things, thinking there is unimportance in all our dreams, reality checks, life is moving fast, spiraling out of control we r bound to crash, without critical thinking how long will we last, we steady preventing the future an exacting our past, grace and salvation is right in our grasps, this gonna fall on death ears we have to know our place, nothing is for the moment, choices is everlasting, small ripple effects glory is urs for the asking, we effect and affect each other, knowing not we come from the same mother, forget the cultural differences feel my warm embrace, my acceptance of self is the reason of fate, I look at everyone as If I stare in my own face, everyday we wake we start with a clean slate, the sunrise for a purpose to show you after the darkness there's always light, don't get discouraged if the day is not so bright |
Took LossesI ask myself what is it but it never comes to me, try to live my life humbly, even when everything around me is crumbling, I run the ball without fumbling, my life on circles and its tumbling, I kno its part of life the stumbling, a fall to a crawl, work myself up then its back to the wall, but this here I give my all, I paint a perfect picture with words you see the vision ,in my precision ,my technique in walking what I am living talking what I am walking and writing ,my poems is exciting, inciting a riot, give me a read come on and try it, don't deny it, don't tell me u don't buy it, yes I am a fool, I am the exception not the rule, I keep going when I lose, to give up I can't choose, |
BlasphemyI feel like u laugh at me, why was I created what do u ask of me, If u want my all I'll give you the last of me, real humble and passively, passionately, I seek you at times I feel avoided, must be my sins my grace I destroyed it, they say my people are anointed, do we make you feel annoyed, in my soul I feel a void, there is a huge missing link , unnerving me to think, maybe ur not real, so much pain I cannot heal, basic. instructions. before. leaving. earth. taught me what's the deal, but most of it is to conceal, most of it I do not feel, the revelations, do not reveal, or maybe my eyes are not meant for me to see, blinded by my vision they work to conspire against me, nothing has yet to convince me, that I was put here for a purpose, cant help but sometimes feel worthless, kids are being trafficked organs are being harvested, and the people that gave us that book are the very ones who started all this sh#t, well thought out and orchestrated... |
So Much MoreIs it my spirit or destiny, the higher self or the lesser of me, that somehow gets the best of me, prison kept the rest of me, now all I got is that spark that rest in me, a lil crackle of hope a fire that will forever be kindled, no matter what this world makes me suffer this light won't dwindle wade or wavier, see I am favored in his favor, blessed with all the flavor, not a savior but a saver, a liberator, not a slaver, a pastor without a passionate prayer, an angel that still a demon, I came in this world screaming, you believing is how I am leaving, I am showing but you aint seeing, so I have to sharpen ur vision, these words is ur admission, into the mind of the unforgiven |
Dark CloudShe said I am tired of hearing u say ur sorry and that I am only sorry I got caught, no I am man enough to admit my wrongs and I kno hurtin u is my fault, but I didn't intend to, so I lie to defend you, even tho it makes things worse, I fu$ked up putting myself first, pride goes before the fall and the catching comes before the hanging, love can be dangerous and very draining, she can't stand to look at me, cringes every time she looks at my face, by her side was my place, in my love and God was her faith, I traded for a lil pleasure for sorrow hurt and pain, she was truly all I had now nothing else remain, she will never be the same, and I accept all the blame, ruined for anyone after, I reminisce on her happiness I invision her laughter, all that is gone now all I left was disaster, |
I look the devil in the 👀Not a great decision maker, not alwayz wise, but I always look the devil in the eyes, justice is missing the truth disguised by lies, God is distant but ever present, I've learned no better lesson, I look the devil in the eyes, I might be nervous and scared as hell, if you dont try you can never tell, even if you fail its all in the process of sucess but I advise, always look the devil in the eyes, I make fear fear and I keep the devil on his toes , when there is a rumble through the rubble the fake gets exposed, and thru the fire and the smoke I will be the one to have arose, I look the devil in the eyes like I am striking a pose, I fo it with ease like changing my clothes, nay sayers I loath, the weak and indecisive I despise, don't alwsys take the easy route look the devil in his eyes. |
Fuc I KnoSh#t. Just I am a male born black, big bullseye on my back, fuc I kno I got to work hard like a slave, it's impossible to save, when they raise the cost of living at the same time they raise minimum wage, fuc I kno my organs worth more out of me than in me, seems the world wants to end me, they got that carbon based melanin envy, no money for the banks to lend me, they say the mind is a terrible thing to waste ,am I my own worst enemy, fuc I kno I could be dead here tomorrow, this world wont show sorrow, put me on a shirt for the day, then watch my memory fade away, fuc I kno these police and politicians, crooked as# government extensions, ***ing people over, no wonder everybody's doped up and cant stand sober, but what will the elite do ,when its just those few, from their point of view, the population has to be controlled, what happens when the sh#t hits the fan and it finally takes a toll, who gonna do all the menial sh#t that you oppose, someone has to be on top, between the ... |
PeriodIt's been a long time coming, a long time running, and that's not the half, gets real hard to laugh, real parched a draft, someone gonna feel all my wrath, all my aggression, I went way past progressing, in me there's no confessing, this here is my profession, teaching daily and learning lessons, I leave no room for guessing, it comes to your recollection, how I place my perception, in all direction, affecting, all those in diameter, as I pitch my perfect antonym in parameter |