what ME is it you see?

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When you look at me, what do you see? maybe beauty, smiles, laughter a mirage of contentment? Anytime I walk in a church. My first test for any supposed man or woman of God is to simply determine what exactly they see when looking at me and into my eyes....if they see a well rounded individual they have not yet met with Him...at least not on that day... Because my spirit screeches and it's yearning for acknowledgement without being verbalized.... I've been invisible, yet right in front of all of you. This unblemished person you see has embodied death for long enough...but no one can see...Perhaps I should tear my smile away, drop my shoulders and choose to neglect all that I am physically... Maybe then you'll know...but what about the one who has no visible scars to be seen? Internal bruising... Does that make this torment less real? Should I accept that if my despair is not visible enough to the eye, that it's not worthy of saving???? What me do you see, while staring??....... My eyes bleed clear and my heart breaks silently. What about us? Those, whose troubles have only secreted silence... "The rape victim muffled by air..." No one physically there to force their silence, but a force none the less. Our pain has become a member... Fitting, not as an organ, but a mass that never ceases in growth... Yet because I smile, your blinded to my death..."yee, oh man of god" why must you only stare, in my time of death. Where is your hand, why can't I feel your heart?? We begin to doubt... How long can we be invisible to His "chosen ones"?? The yearn for spiritual recognition dissipates...and we find contentment amongst our misery Contentment or the acceptance of what already exists....death. We choose to embrace the thought, rather than expecting change.... Now..this race has become a one to death, no longer life. Days blur as we countdown the time...death must be our peace, because this life has yet to render any traces of it. Each day brings us closer, I awake to its smell, and fall to slumber under its mind control. Death is near....I'm only but a moment away...... And then God.... In all HIS ESSENCE appears "You have searched, but not for me...I am Me. Not a church, nor prophet. If you lose faith, do so on the grounds of human nature but not on my word...I SEE you...I Know you because I created you. In MY time will I extend a helping hand for you to cling to....No matter the human, I AM HERE..and I am life...faith in any man will acquire disappointment and result in failure... My word is your rock...latch on never forget. Who you are is in Me, and death cannot reside here.