When I was younger
I was both abused & neglected
I grew up feeling unloved and rejected
Little did I know how to have my heart protected
So I looked at everyone distrusting
Everyone was suspected
Emotionally and physically abused
Positivity from a young age was obviously refused
Never had the reason to feel motivated or enthused
And my heart and mind were so thwarted
My love and hate for God became intertwined and combined
That they got me nauseous and confused
I felt the world hated me
Since my own parents showed me no love
And how could I believe some spirit being even cared for me
If I can not even fit him into my life like some worn out glove
You see
My parents got separated when I was about seven yrs old
From that point forward into my late twenties of age
I grew emotionally distrusting, distant and cold
My heart rusted up for not being able to utilize it to its full capacity
And then came the bad change
In my whole personality
I got mad at the world
Since I felt the world was mat at me
I took out my hatred and disdain
Not only on family & friends
But in the whole of humanity
That it nearly caused me so much vexation
That I lost my sanity
Became a young man of speaking profanity
With a heart of lust, hate and vanity
And although I can now look back and admit
That God in my life
I was unable to fully commit
I could not let go of my anger
So to this God being
I could not willfully submit
I was physically and emotionally corrupted
That at the drop of a dime
My temper showed itself when it erupted
All the while I now see
That God allowed it to be
Because He did not need to have interrupted
For His plan was to not interrupt but intervene
Place me into His court room
And have the court reconvene
So His love showed one day
Actually not so long ago
My daughter was born and I saw Gods love
And it showed when my tears had flowed
He softened my heart
With the tender touch of another human being
And this little delicate person who was now my daughter
Is the method God used
To help unlock me from bondage and get me to be freeing
You see
God works in ways that are innumerous
And beyond the scope we can define
He reaches out to anyone & everyone
For everything
There is it’s own season and its own time!
He was able to break my heart of ice and spirit of rust
By showing me the love divine
By entering into my heart the day my daughter was born
And He placed it into my heart
That because she is mine
I must be the best I could be in every capacity
Every angle and with such voracity
I must work hard to not just be a man
But a man of God living with fervent tenacity
And I stand here today
Only because He has graced me with His passion
And I am in every way indebted to God forever
Thus I show my love for Him through the things I say or do
In any and every kind of fashion!
SkTzO