The killing gave my mind a rest I never expected. My lyrical skills became dormant and tested. Starting rapping about that made no sense, talking of having no cents. Getting sick of all this talk of Bill Gating and terrorism in the media, those new shoes have me hating ya. Tired of living chasing the C.R.E.A.M and living the D.R.E.A.M (Dope Rules Everything Around Me). Tired of seeing my future then being blinded by the light beam, obsessed with the blood stream. Became truant in life and lost it all. So depressed won’t pick up when my best friends call, tired of disobeying the law, tired of having no religion at all, no one was there to pick me up after the fall. Drunk off the hate high off the smoke, wish I didn’t go on that stage and choke. Had an 8 Mile moment, I blew it. Lost my self to the music, lost my dignity to a chum from the south side, he claims homicide. I choked 3 rounds in and committed lyrical suicide. Still feels like a part of me died, they keep saying at least you tried, now every time they want a rhyme I run and hide. No one knows me any more, used to hard to the core. Now no respect, not even from the neighbor hood whore. Used to be known for my rhymes being filled with blood and gore, now people just ignore. Still lying on the floor, still washed up, I know I ***ed up. Want to stop being blue, but I lost and I feel untrue. Why the change? Because there’s no love for me in gangsta rap, tired of this, I feel like crap.
edwardbalonado21
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OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY edwardbalonado21
Quick write before bedWith memories fading, vision tunneling. The bigger of life's meaning is mighty humbling. Lean forward and fall into the pit. I was told this was the only way to conquer it.  |
Lost behind a maskBasically I can't let go, of everything and more. So pour up another glass. My reflection hides behind a mask. Identity has slipped from my grasp. Lost over memories of the past. Familiar faces never seem to last. Restrained my urges to unleash my wrath. Lost in the ways of life and romance
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Sunken PathWhat do I do with myself now that I'm unhappy? Been hating my life and the ways that it has me, caught in a bind between romance and fantasy. Wishing it was reality, because my reality seems broken. What a tragedy. This seperation is damaging. Spirt filled bottles jump at me from the cabinetry. Drink to drown my sorrow, just another casualty. Enchanted by lust and magic, see, I can't tell whats happening. Part of me still wants you to come... back... for... me. Yet the stronger me knows you're shallow and wicked. Nothing like the picture you depicted. Only felt worthless because I was addicted, to your taste, your touch, that smell of your hair, I couldnt get enough. A break through. I know I can do this without you. I don't hate you, I thank you for helping me see this new angle. God sometimes sends obstacles in the form of an angel. When the path you walk has your feet burried to the ankles, just walk ... |
PoisonThought I was drinking the holy elixir. Because without you I felt my heart grow sicker. Couldn't drown the memories with no amount of liquor. But don't think I love, only miss her. Trying to find the antidote so I can move on and finally cope. Ears plugged into the stethoscope. Listen to my heart and let you go.
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Peace to the landPeace to the land and death to the destruction. Breathe in the air and exhale negative assumptions. Live in the now and stop dwelling in past. Trust me I've seen the spells that it can cast. Let go of the pain, pray that good times last. Be grateful for life even if it seems the hardships won't pass. Carve your own path until you find your right one. Keep walking along, the righteous will carry you when your feet numb. Just don't walk blind, you might not like the outcome. Have faith in yourself, not just the one up above. Embrace what's left with gratitude and love. The world seems lost, but really it's just a new journey. The media only plays what people find concerning. Just to makes you think evil is constantly emerging. Bring Peace to the land and prevent your soul from burning. We all make mistakes, but that's why we're all still learning. |
EmotionsEmotions are something I can't depend on anymore. As they always keep me in a state of inner moral war. War with myself. More than self conflict. If I gave in, the devil will turn me to a convict. Rob and steal, feeling thats my only option. Emotions run high but I know that I got this. Gun under my chin then I hear the child in me begging to stop it. Working two jobs seven days a week. Never see no profit. God telling be patient, soon you will prosper. My emotions are weak like the devil, but I'm interested in what they offer. But still. Live the path straight and proper |
One Rhyme Freeverse about lifeWhen you die you can't take it with you so I know life is not about what you obtain. Just live free and learn from mistakes and cherrish the knowledge that you gain. Also learn to understand we live in a world where wrong is right, the villains prevail and the heroes are slain. And even though billions live here no one on earth can truly understand your pain. Most people are ignorant and choose not to see whats infront of them and thats my definition of insane. Most of what I say comes from my heart, exits out my mouth but first the words are produced in my brain.What I'm trying to say is our body is life, and our life is a body with a beating heart and blood flowing in it's vein.If your not careful with your life you're likely to watch it spin down the drain.I rather die slow with lots on my mind than die quickly with a mind that's plain. I don't live with regrets because regrets tweak the mind maki... |
Insanity lies within (INCOMPLETE)I've Been trying so hard to hide my mind from insanity cuz every time it comes around it tries to take man in me. Then I'm left sitting there motionless scared of humanity. And you wonder why I smoke herb constantly, Cuz constantly my mind full of thoughts of pending doom and tragedy. When I do fall asleep it's dreams of people stabbing me and demons grabbing me. So I stay high, so high I'm defying gravity. Stay so high I'm a happy emcee in the sky letting time fly by and when I come back down earth my pen gives birth to another wicked verse that puts another emcees career in a herse. Thank god for all the rappers who inspired me to write in the first place, cuz my life was full sadness and hate and torture that later on help me develop this mental state, where I can drift from reality, and watch vocabulary elevate as I accelerate to a faster rate which in turn gave me the ability to levitate with a mic in my hand that assis... |
Poetic Hero. (Hero Contest 3)Cursed for life but changed for the better. Struggles still exist, working hard for petty cheddar. I walk with my head held high, knife still in my hand. Yet I'm seeing better days, no longer sinking in the quick sand. Today I'm a brand new and improved person. But I'm still rhyming just not as much cursing. Now instead of walking in the dark, my path is bright.Still gotta pack chrome when I roam the hood at night. I've been witness to murder, suicide death, and such.Now I'm sitting here, not blaming myself as much. Reminisce for all those who died up on  North Prospero Block. Death never seemed natural, it was either overdoses or a glock. Now with a future so near my reach I can finally be free and have the capability to use my freedom of speech. So today this is where I have come. Matured greatly so I no longer play it dumb. Owe this... |
Phase 2: "Hooded Obstacles" (Hero Contest)Struck by the disease known as poverty. Can't find a job in this weakening economy. Even worse, I'm stuck in the hood with enemies who have fantasies of harming me.   Can't survive when a gun holds all the sovereignty. I look in the mirror, and you know what I see, another sheep being herded around by government supremacy.   Can't be who I am now, to change  is what need. But obstacles in life have me sipping brew and smoking weed. Walk outside, my hood covers my face, cuz I don't wanna end up as a homicide case. Trying to find a way outta this hellish place, so I can grow up and not be a damn disgrace. Had a conversation with myself to see if I'm in good mental health, but all I could think about was getting wealth. Take a trip through my hood and you'll see nothing is good. So give some respect if you could. Already tried to get out, so stop saying th... |