when the words don't fall

Solitude

i have to run.

i have to hide

from the sirens,

the exclamations,

and even from the ones

i love just to be

with you.

i have to turn

and twist, even jerk

away from the stagnation

of implicit expectations

others impose with weight.

so i embrace

a lie if i must, just to be

in my space.

i offer no rewards

for my disappearing and

i do not act to solicit.

i am just this way,

a myriad of unrehearsed actions

nestled in distractions.

i need the nakedness of solitude,

the coziness of aloneness

to hear the subtle strum of

my soul strings tapping

against the playhouse

in my mind.

where the words lie still and

my heart beats slow

under the qu...

when the words don't fall

when the words do not fall

i

know the need is certain however

my once able ness to speak

crawls in infancy yet,

i

cry like normal people now.

i

give my lexis to space and memory

and yet I forget my keys daily and even still

i

try to rekindle the broken wicks

in my mind in one sedentary,

Herculean moment of solitude. Then

i

feel the cruel servitude of my effort

waning, wondering rolling then

waning, wondering and rolling again

leaving my arrogance underneath.

i

am not much use to me

or you in this shell. i am no longer supernatural

like before

i am normal people now.