thatygpoetickidd

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ever seen a wolf cry?

CATEGORY

life

I am so messed up in the head that I consul myself to keep me from loosing anymore of my sanity that I have left I know that last sentence didn't make since but in due time you'll get it listen this is not a poem this is not a lash out and this isn't a pity party I just want to share a little of what I'm going threw as of right now here goes everything so I found out my oldest brother is having two twin daughters making him the father of four kids he threaten to kill our mom and our other brother and he is somewhere out in the world just lost a long time ago I was asked to be the step father and gladly accepted the position he choose me for a reason and now I'm starting to see why my second oldest brother has to twin boys who just can't seem to keep himself out of trouble mentally he isn't all there so naturally this causes problems that can't be resolved as fast as we would like and as for me I'm having a daughter on the way and by the way I lie and I cheat it's gotten so bad that I don't know if I have any emotions anymore most of my facial expressions are blank most of my emotions are blank as if I can't feel nothing I don't understand how I have or (had) someone who loves me genuinely and I betray them on more than one occasion but I'm real quicc to get jealous and mad once they start talking to someone else smh I'm so selfish not to mention I don't have a job I don't go to school i have no money saved up but got the nerves to be walking around Moreno Valley like I got it like that and to look that on my own flash and blood because they too are struggling I'm the biggest hypocrite in the world right now

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COMMENTS


		DallasCowgirl says: Bro, sometimes your writings are filled with complete sadness but they always offer a glimpse of hope in between the lines. Don't stop writing. You never know who may find refuge in your writings and who may connect with your pains in a way that can offer them some sort of deliverance. Remain hopeful for a more beautiful day. :)

OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY thatygpoetickidd

Unityx2

Half the world feels like it's on fire & it seems like the other half couldn't careless we're talking about thousands of people who've sides in the spand of two months damn near. We're watching as people are being

forcibly removed from their home's generations upon generations erased those kids those babies they never even stood a chance & the aftermath of it all is something that words can't even begin to describe

and to add more fuel to the fire this is happening in multiple places around the world seems like our voices aren't enough our anger isn't enough our government is supporting & aiding in all of these genocides

giving away billions of dollars doing the very opposite of what the people been asking for literally giving them more guns more ammunition locations the whole nine these countries streets are filled & paved in blood

schools, hospitals completely obliterated. In...

Emotion #5

There's no telling what I crave or what I desire maybe the answer to them both is nothing if I'm being truly honest it's been a while since I've felt any emotions maybe there's been a great disconnect there it doesn't

bother me too much if anything it's like nostalgia familiarity even. I've felt this way since I was a kid guess the feelings enhanced overtime. Losing you,you you you you you and you & you and so many others loses and

other things I've never spoken of I guess my internal hell and the place I called paradise is one on the same *solitude* being disconnected from everything and everybody has gotten me out of touch with a lot of emotions

I find myself in situations where I just don't wanna be be bothered. These people aren't feeling me the irony of it all I just be minding my ugly business and someone beautiful comes along and disrupts the flow

with bad i...

Who you?

To make a long complicated story short my name is zenkai! I was mentally born in 2k16 during the start of what he now considers the

worst years of his life i met this man when he was 24k years old he didn't have much of nothing going on in his life at the time in his words

it was all unnecessary bs at the time he had enrolled himself into college word on the street was he was having a kid on the way and that

sparked his life drastically he got off his a** and went to work he had two jobs & was officially going to college then things change...

On my knees begging for forgiveness

Peace that surpasses all understanding is something I want more than anything in the world

but how do I achieve so peace? Do I pray? Do I spend the rest of my life in solitude?

do I sober up and maintain a clear mind?

How exactly can I achieve such peace?

What would I need to sacrifice in order to obtain it what exactly can I give you that don't have already?

My vanity

This is my life so why do I dought that?

Could this really be my life live or I'm I just lying to myself again

by all means I should have lost my life on a few occasions but

for whatever I'm still here I don't feel whole though

if anything I'm more empty than ever my mind grows

silent my heart darkens by the day I may not cause trouble

but that doesn't mean I never get in trouble

Vanish

What does it mean to be free?

what is freedom?

are we really shackled and bound to this thing called life?

we're taught to respect and cherish the life we have because

we only get one & too many people get a chance to experience it

the more I think about it the harder it is to comprehend.

Sound frame

Draining...the emotion right out of me seaking to find what's precious to you then leaving as if you were Never there like so many before you with each breath being taken it feels like fighting a dragged out fight All that fighting To be champion of nothing That title is unbefitting of someone who deserves more Cold as fresh steal as I watch everything fade towards the baccground ahh Here we are once again the void, darkness and myself enchanting moments like this is what I was destined for creating situations that lead to nothing and absorbing the aftermath of it all increasing the volume and mass within thine self. ã‹ how many times must I be in this position time & I playin chess negotiations for better moves are on the table time trying be slicc and confusing by telling me not to rush.. the moves are all mine with the smerk on it's face every move is more critical than the Next where the stakes can cost more than just your life yet here I am (again) it's hard to make...

Roses that aren't for me

Smoking on this black and mild trying to find the words

To speak to god and to let him know what's been Going on in recent events of my life

he's probably Disappointed in me can't blame him for it through

I'm disappointed in myself to in just five month's

I lost my job, my best friend, found out that after

A year and some change that the kids that i love Aren't mine,

damn near lost my sanity, nearly drowned In depression,

almost let my anger consume me and Thought about taking my own life away

the unnecessary pain and sacrifices that I've Indore

These past few month's has taught me alot and Has shown me just how strong

i really am I've shed Countless tears ask countless questions searching For answers

as to why did i have to be the one to Indore this pain these situations

has taught me Valuable life lessons but

at the cost of my heart Being ...

seytre

Chillin on bed and I'm missing you

Like wishing for things to go back

Normal or to my sense of normality

I can't stand it not having you two

I miss the days of smiles laughter

You kept that warmth in my heart

And your sister was the spark we cried

And laugh in the dark but morning came

And i guess it made it better for me to weather

The weather and storms nothing phase me nothing

Grazed me i thank god daily for these blessings

Everything was just a lesson or maybe a session

Of love that i needed and now I'm bleeding

Internal damnged has been just done i made yall my number one

i love you seytre
I love you seytre
I love you.

lets be real

If we were being real with each other you'd tell me some like you don't think that it'll be a good idea for us to be together and that you still contain some form of feelings from the past

if we were being real with each other you'd probably tell me some like it'll never work out between us because between us something so right could only get left and I've seen what happens when I'm at best i get paid damn it i mean i get played

if we were being honest with each other you'd probably say some like let me explain what i meant when i told you when I'm at my best i get paid yeah i get paid alright my pay day cums in the form of a bad , lies, false comment, and the rest i just get paid in change as in he said he'll change or that he has changed but things remind the same i shouldn't have to explain what i meant when i said all i do get is get played you know the game as well as i do so that j...