Ramblings l. Anxiety

Ms. B-Side

You were 
Unappreciated 
Overlooked 
A hidden gem 
But I loved you 
Upon first listen 
I recite you every day 
Memorizing my favorite lyric
I’ve found new life
Inside the rhythm of your groove.

Closure

When there’s more you need to say
But understand words won’t make a difference
When silence is safer than the act of forgiveness 
When questions are answered
And closure is in the works
But memories remain and love still lurks
In every passing thought 
In the prayers I pray
When I rest my eyes
Before I start each day
Closure,
Nothing more than the illusion of letting go 
In denial of the fact the heart latches on
To your voice
To my feelings
The words of our song
To the idea the love that left me
Still can do no wrong

Perfect Comparison

You entered my life
At a time I felt most alive
The opposite of my worldly surroundings
I tethered our connection
To the death of summer leaves
There was beauty in our fall
Optimism to start our season
I fell for you for this very reason
If memory serves me correct
You remained stained by summers glow
So astonished by your hue
I painted my world with you
You breathe new life
Into everything I saw
Brush strokes so broad 
I found my love cornered
Even then I still admired you
So with this weather change
I remember your name
I’ll embrace passionate reds
That defiantly cling to dying trees
I welcome the cold lonely breeze
That always seems to want my company
I’ll watch our sunset
Then brace myself for your darkness
And I’ll still desire you
I’ll always admire you

Perfect Comparison

...

Commitment & Regrets

Commitment

I want her
In ways 
I’m afraid 
To admit

Regrets

I’ve dialed her number 
countless times 
since the night 
we last spoke, 
so much for 
letting 
go.

Foolish pride 
ended apologies 
before sorry left my throat. 
Losing her, a tremendous regret
A realization she will never know.

Monogamy

The end goal. 
The quest to find 
A mind 
Which complements 
Mine. 
Commitment 
To the body. 
Allegiance 
To the soul. 
Dedicated 
To the idea of us 
Trust, forgiveness 
And acceptance. 
The ultimate leap of faith. 
Lifetime allies 
Full-time lovers. 
Honestly, my eyes 
May always wander. 
The senses may periodically 
Wonder what lurks 
In the unknown. 
If love is real 
Lust will lose 
It’s appeal. 
Hopefully, 
The touch of one 
Is all I will feel. 
That leap of faith. 
What can heal 
May also kill. 
All’s fair in life & love 
Heartbreak
Is just part of the deal.

Colors in the Fall

Brown hues
Infuse life
Evergreens 
Transitioning
Into descending rust
Mellow yellows
Cool blues
An atmosphere to match
Sunsets paint by day
Grays cool the night
Beauty amongst
Summers death
Midday reds and
Sunburnt cascading leaves

Poparatzi*

I stray away from
Camera flashes
My memory
Serves it’s purpose
Living in a moment
Trumps the perfect picture
Documenting every step
Obstructs my view
My mentals produce
Panoramas
I don’t need proof
To remember I was with you 
Told her put the camera
Down, let me love you
Now

9/29

Figured I’d be closer
To my hopes and dreams 
To the favors I asked of God 
While on bended knee 
Speaking wants into existence 
While ignoring my every need 
Anticipating the harvest 
Of future blessings 
Without planting a single seed 

Closure

When there’s more you need to say
But understand words won’t make a difference
When silence is safer than the act of forgiveness 
When the questions are answered and closure is in the works
But the memories remain and love still lurks
In every passing thought 
In the prayers I pray
When I rest my eyes
Before I start each day
Closure,
Nothing more than the illusion of letting go 
In denial of the fact the heart latches on
To your voice
To my feelings
The words of our song
To the idea the love that left me
Still can do no wrong