Ask me why I walk with my head down
Go ahead and break the ice
I'm gathering up my heart
Using knives.
That's right.
I've lost my inspiration
Can't even write without
Hesitation.
So quick I debate
This state
God wants me to feel the pain
It's enormous
No umbrella can
Protect me from the rain.
Let me feel it
The damage won't dissipate
This is the fate I've been
Given
Handed this burden
Like some f***** up
Rhythm!
What's my f****** position!?
My negativity
Has clouded my brain
The hate poisons my veins
I've lost my f****** inspiration
Can't you see
The pain behind my eyes!?
No mask, no paint, no prayer
Can disguise
Just let it seep
My soul longs to weep
It's time I feel it.
Slowly deal the hand
But I've run out of cards
My last hope
Is my shattered heart.
How the f*** do I manage!?
I'm going through the motions
A slow panic
Makes a sneak attack
I'm naked
Slow to react
A dark cloud hangs from the sky
Ready to swallow me up
I'm tripping over my own laces
Knowing it's the evil
Which has created
The vacant ruins
Within me.
Turning my prior cold feelings
Into frost bite
I might just
Fall further
Hold me down.
Let me feel the bullets
Let them ring
I want to hear it
Maybe the nightmare
Will be over
By the time I'm finished
Wiping my tears
Upon loose shoulders
The sorrow smashes me
Like boulders.
I used to be supreme
Handling
Every situation
With ease
But I've lost my inspiration
It's been stolen
Along with the vibrancy
Of your memory
Your slight smile
Haunting me.
Your brown eyes
Reminding me
Of the reasons
I live.
A love so strong
The separation
Is unbearable
F****** incomparable
To anything else.
I've ever felt.
Now nobody can save me
I've made a perfect enemy
With the bloodline
With which
You derive.
Can't stop the hatred
So I'm shooting blind.
Vengeance is sweet
It's too late
I can't retreat.
There's no potion for me
To drink
Unless it's the type
To put me to sleep
But I guarantee
If I wake up in hell
And
I happen to see
Those responsible
For this travesty
It will be the last time
They ever breathe
F*** every
Plead for peace
There are no words
To describe
The ways that I bleed.
Too much time has passed
The hurt collapsing upon
You.
There goes my inspiration.
I feel it slowly erasing
I could try
But I'm hesitating
God I pray
Even though my pride
Is too great
I don't accept this as the fate
Of a young child
Forgive me
We haven't spoke in a while.
Written By
Desiree Chavez