miss_chaniel

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this sickness of hurt

CATEGORY

life

I feel awful
I think im coming down with
Self-hate
Not from my appearance
But from my actions
No one believes I can't beat this sickness
High dose of synthetic Compliments
my tears blend in with my scar marks
It is awful to avoid mirrors and to always look down
To hid from who I would see
To see that people see my reflection that i would never change
Because of mistakes I've made
It hurts I believe Im getting better
They feel im getting sicker and sicker
Not trusting me not believing in me
I remain isolated from the world
No matter how cured I feel
There's always a disease eating me

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COMMENTS


		Charles2 says: looking into the mirror of your soul. the one you think you see, when you don't quite feel the beautiful person that you always were in life and always meant to be, Is looking at you in disbelief. we always are a part of our mistakes. but the sorrow at the place where were once were ...is never in the same place. look away from the mirrors on the ground. its hard enough to escape the prison of the mind without constant reminders of the times when our minds were so inclined to choose the path when the consciousness we carry when we know, was going blind. poems by this commentor repair+a+nation Sleigh bells Answered ...prayers...
		Charles2 says: dear soul. be patient, this will pass. and when you pick up whats important, you may find what you left behind, wasn't worth it anyway. and if there was something important that you lost. forgive yourself. say honest prayers and mourn for what was lost. pay the cost to get back in good graces with yourself, if not for who or what you left behind, so you can make your peace and let life continue on. poems by this commentor Heaven Infinity ...rising Not ...right
		Charles2 says: you still are young. imagine yourself, much older. perhaps even on the other side, looking back at it all. and how you might have reversed your steps, if you were so motivated and secure in who you are in being empowered to change whatever it was you did or did not do. come back to now and start living it again, this turn of the tables to win yourself back from your decline. it too will pass in time poems by this commentor Nature... visions ...beyond these Word raps

OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY miss_chaniel

The root of love is not family in some cases

I send healing

I do not wish you pain
It is not who I am
It is not my fault
Although I took a lot a blame
You took away possibility
I called sisterhood
I guess sharing the same Dna
Is not automatic when it comes to love
Clearly there was never no respect to love
Love does not belittle
Love does not physically cause harm
The role of jealous hurt person
Would rather inflict pain on others
BUT you see
I Refuse to be the product of your pain
Before I didn't
I thought I could build on pain
I stumble every time I created a structure
I Force myself thinking you changed
You proved me right
When you approach me the same
with...

Return

Today I mourn
For all virgins
Whose innocence
that where stolen
From boys who refused
To return back to sender
These same boys grow into
A beautiful thing that carries ugly
Outcomes Walking away as if nothing ever happened ....

Honesty in a lie

Truthfully there is honesty in a lie
I honesty have to lie to
spare your feelings
For my selfish needs
I'm too laid back to stand up
To give you honesty
I'm too comfortable too laid back
To give you stand up part of me
I'm comfortable enough to
Have you for my own benefits
So I gave you a new version of an outdated version
Of what you used to deal with
So I turned your dreams into a reality
To only reveal a nightmare
I'm the same monster that appeared before
I told you I love you like the others did before
I told I would never hurt you
but I'm only hurting you more
I can't lie i kinda like you more than I think
But just like you I'm broken
I'm only hurti...

I just knew

I Just knew

I knew this was love
When he said
My love for you do not have a Expiration date
My yesterday may not be here
But today my heart pumps a war
A beat content with loving you
Your beauty is my landscape resting in my eyes
Where the sun and moon plays
Ping pong
My heart is bruised for
Always having you in my arms
My fingers in chaos with your natural curls
In hopes of never escaping
Just the sight of you invade my privacy Your a beauty within itself
Running away is not an option
Every time I look for you
You arrive like the sun Evens a broken man can find a piece to his heart

The torture of love

Something that seem forever
Like A Pairing heartbeat
Simply to be impaired by love
But now sinking in destruction
Trying to find peace in search of
Old Memories to keep the history alive
In between time
somewhere love bloom
But darkness is lured and
Drains sunshine out of the love that
was once filled
Somehow the kisses become makeup
Smudge in a napkin
&nb...

You didn't discover you recreated me

You suck the love out of me
You knew the love was there
You handed me the pieces that were broken
Then you mold it

You gave me reasons to love again

Thieves without masks

It may seems
Like you won the fight
What is a fight if he renege
You're left sweating
Standing alone
grasping For air
His kisses were your revival
To you're broken home
When I mean home
I mean your heart
The door you left open for
Him to care enough
To make effort to do the right things
Instead of the right guest
You got yourself a thief
He took your welcome
The time you did not hesitate...

heartbroken

Heartbroken
Is when you're standing On your own pieces
Crushing it even more
The more you think about it
You suffer more
You pray your heart stops
So you do not feel no more
So you cry
Til u Hesitate to breathe
Until your wound
poured out what you thought was love
Until you erase the face that abandoned your soul
You tried to pack away all the thinking that comes with it
But the hurting haunts you
So you ask for love to
return so it doesn't hurts you anymore ......

Self love

Self love is mornings
In the mirror
You may not feel pretty
But theirs
Someone who knows you just as pretty
In the afternoon

Self love is
Finding peace
When vitals are chaos

Self love is
Being the bandage
Devouring in scars
Knowing they would eventually heal

.......loving u is theðŸ”‘

The heart

Your the instrument
That gets played over a million times

If u listen carefully
The lyrics is just for you

The Heart