Goddess Bee

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Drifting On a memory Site Rank BRIGADIER GENERAL
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While You Were Doing Time

CATEGORY

life

When the judge sentenced you away, I could have died. People stared at me from a far as I cried. The ride home alone after court hurt tha worst "Leave tha streets alone!", I was tha one that told you first. But you still chose to do exactly what you wanted, If I had of known that it would happen like this I would have taunted, You more... Now you locked behind that door, so now how ya gonna protect me Like you been doin before? But yet a lonely home I go to Kuz you're not there. I tell my girls all about it, but it doesn't seem like they care Kuz they got their men at home, but I gotta sit by tha phone, and wait for your call. I'm tha one that bought tha Pay-Tel, but delivering messages from all tha z you're in with, who ain't getting letters no more from their girlfriends. But they feelin sad and tryna reach out through me, while you keep tellin me you're gonna do right when you're free....... Jimmy does Tatts, and Eddie can draw, Tony got beat up because he Told what he saw. Mike recruitin' z who he can use as his toy, and Charlie keep gettin' write-up's For bein' a mf'n Jack Boy. Jackin' his meat lookin' at tha female CO's... But I'M supposed to feel bad kuz this tha life that they chose?! I feel like I know them even though I don't from a can of paint, And you quotin' bible verses all of a sudden like a saint. But what about me out here strugglin' to eat?! It's sad to say that I got used to tha money That you was bringin' in from them streets... Because I was in school, ain't never broke no rules, stayed in tha books....and now I keep gettin' looks... From tha ones who "WERE" ya Ace Boon Koons... Yea you remember tha ones who you used to call Ya Goons! They never send you money, hell they think it's funny Kuz you locked away from me... Exactly what they been waitin' to see... Baby I get lonely and I stare at your pictures at night, Cryin' and wishin' that you were here to hold me tight. I can't come visit you because they sent you Upstate, and if it were to happen I gotta look through a glass at Your face Kuz you're in that place and I'm at home. I'm tryna hold you down, hell I'm tryna stay strong But I don't know where I belong... I wish you never had to go. Made a mistake and opened up my legs Now everybody callin' me a ho, I didn't want you to know and now you question tha love I have for ONLY you, but I remember tha plans we made to say "I DO" Ending in a kiss But my only wish, is that we could rewind Everything you missed.... While You Were Doing Time

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COMMENTS


		Te'ArraPoetry says: Nice poem. Men they're so hard head it say strong sista. poems by this commentor My Struggle Gone For 10 Years Living With Pain

OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY Goddess Bee

Help Is On The Way

~Help Is On The Way~ I watched one of my sistas, (another black wombman) struggle to carry her grocery bags, while two brothas was walking nearby her.... One said, "aye man let's ask her if she needs our help", the other responded, "Hell nah bruh dat ain't my b***h! Her ni**a shouldn't have her out here with dem sh*ts, and if she ain't got no ni**a it's probably her own fault...thats why she lookin sad! Let the b***h carry her own damn bags," The other one laughed & said "man you wrong!" & they proceeded down the street to their homes... Meanwhile the black wombman continues to struggle, she was tired, bags looked like they weighed 1000 pounds....people passing by her looking all around, while some of the others kept their eyes on the ground.... In hopes that she wouldn't ask for assistance, now pay attention so u won't miss this..... I walked up to her & was about to grab some of the bags from her hand & then I heard the voice of a man....... He said, "I'll be...

Wrong Or Right?

How can something so bad, feel so good? Or is it not bad at all & really that good? But I just misunderstood? If I could turn back the hands of times with this, really...I don't know if I would... I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't put my all into it this time...then again, maybe I should. At times I feel like I took a bite out of a forbidden fruit like Eve...& maybe I'm destined for trouble & pain..other times I feel like a million bucks kuz IM tha QUEEN & I reign... How can happiness make u feel confused? A smile is a helluva lot better then being used & abused...

So why am I questioning my smile? As long as it's there it's a good thing right? Or is that I'm in denial? I love the feeling it brings so I hope it stays around a while...Did something so bad really make me feel so good? If It's wrong I don't think I wanna be right.....kuz whatever this feelin inside of me is makin me wanna put up a fight...

Bleeding

My heart is Bleeding right outta my chest. I got tissues & towels tryin to soak it up, tryin my best.... It started leaking thru my eyes, I cried blood tears..& then it ran outta my nose & then came out thru my ears.... My heart is bleeding, I can't stop it & I'm scared. If it bleeds all the way out, I doubt my life can be spared... I need a transfusion, come bleed some blood back inside of me, pump it thru my veins, get me to where I need to be...stitch it up, hell staple it back up if need be, anything u have to do to bleed life back inside of me... My heart is bleeding, & now it's leaking down from between my legs... It's not a cycle of nature, it's pure desperation on my part..help it to clot, don't just walk on my heart... Kuz it's bleeding, I'm not looking for a donor, my name's not on the recipient list. Just help me fix mine...it's about the size of my fist....I wouldn't wanna take anybody else's outta their chest, kuz the one I already got is the absolute best....but r...

Love is Crazy

Love will have u crazy! Walking barefoot in a snowstorm... 20 below zero without a mf'n coat on..Just crazy..straight psychotic actions. Not givin a damn about anybody or their satisfaction. Love can make u strong but still make u sad, have u happy at the same time u feelin mad....Can't live with it, can't live without it...but, I'm puttin the sh*t on hold! Kuz it's ALOT of stuff I'm tired of, the sh*t's getting old. U would be shocked to all hell if the secrets would unfoldd, but it's none of your business...so mind ur own! & NO! I don't need u to pick up the phone.....Just know that love is crazy, it can have u cold....without Heat, Rest without sleep, trick without treat, Sow without Reap....

just Crazy.....

Guilty Conscience

Perfectly Imperfect

I may not be perfect but at least I'm Me. Some call me crazy but I still have some sanity. I don't watch my weight, I love to eat, and I'm thick... I could never be petite, hell I don't wanna look sick. I smoke my trees, I'll admit it kuz it relaxes my nerves, some don't agree but to me it's a natural herb *shrug*... I don't wear my seatbelt even though I should the only time it crosses my mind is when I'm ridin through tha hood. Certain officers know my name but it's not kuz of my past... They know my family's rep kuz they always gettin money fast. It's a family trait, and yea, I did my share but people change everyday. Holding it against me just ain't fair

Kept It Inside

The time I almost died, I kept it inside... I don't want your pity, I've got too much pride... When my heart was broken, no words were spoken... Because I didn't wanna hear, "I told you so".... I just kept it inside so no one would ever know. I kept it inside, even though I cried when I was all alone.... I don't fit in anywhere, feel like I don't even belong.... I kept it inside when I was a victim of sexual harassment on the job, because I needed the money and swore that I would never ever rob a soul again..... I kept it inside when I lost my friend... Lost to substance abuse from depression, and when its all gone it turns into aggression...... I kept it inside when I lost myself to alcohol and not enough rest... Tried to stay high so I would never come down, but it didn't solve anything because it always came back around. The pain that is, which always comes back again.. I kept it inside... Because it's much easier to just pretend... So..... I kept it inside

Untitled

He says the reason that I flip when my period's on is kuz I'm an angel and I'm outside of my spiritual form.... But when I'm in my physical form, if I get cut..he bleeds..so doesn't that make him as much of an angel as me? Whateva it is that we are supposed to be, don't have a damn thang to do wit what otha people think..I'm his definition of what an Ebony Queen should be, and I accept my role..sort of hesitantly, but on my throne is wher I'll be..if there is anybody out there lookin' for me.

My Little Angel

My little baby left the world before he even took his first breath They rushed me into the operating room because both of our lives were about to end in death I've got scars that will live with me forever Will I forget my son, oh hell no! Never!... My little angel comes to visit me in my dreams and he says, "Mommy don't cry, it's not as bad as it seems" The angels up here are taking very good care of me and they said I am more perfect then that world will ever be I've got my angel's name tattooed across my heart and there is nobody or nuthin' that will ever keep us apart My little angel comes visits me when I cry and he wipes away all my tears until they are dry He whispers in my ear and tells me encouraging things..and says "Mommy I love you, see you in your next dream"

A Rose

I'm a rose That got all of my pretty petals popped off and left with nothing but thorns for the next man that comes to hold me Will I ever bloom again? Can anybody even console me? I'm like a blood diamond that most would kill to have but when they get me they take me for granted It's sickening and it never makes sense to me and I don't ever think I'll understand it I'm a Queen without a King Like a wife without a Ring Like the flowers trying to grow without the rain in the spring.... I have fears... And I have tears that never get wiped away because I wanna be a lady and wear my panties but... I gotta wear boxers TOO... Everyday How can I be a lady if I'm doing all the things that a man was designed to do? With nobody to call on.... Nobody to run to.... I wanna be held without lashing out because of the pain from the past I NEED to be loved, protected, and cherished....and put on a pedestal... And I NEED it fast There's no way in hell that God would take Adam...