The time I almost died, I kept it inside... I don't want your pity, I've got too much pride...
When my heart was broken, no words were spoken... Because I didn't wanna hear, "I told you so".... I just
kept it inside so no one would ever know.
I kept it inside, even though I cried when I was all alone....
I don't fit in anywhere, feel like I don't even belong....
I kept it inside when I was a victim of sexual harassment on the job, because I needed the money and swore that I would never ever rob a soul again.....
I kept it inside when I lost my friend...
Lost to substance abuse from depression, and when its all gone it turns into aggression......
I kept it inside when I lost myself to alcohol and not enough rest... Tried to stay high so I would never come down, but it didn't solve anything because it always came back around.
The pain that is, which always comes back again..
I kept it inside... Because it's much easier to just pretend...
So.....
I kept it inside
Goddess Bee
 5600
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Kept It Inside
CATEGORY
life
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COMMENTS
Just_Me_Kelee says: it seems easier that way sometimes. Touching |
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blakmista says: You peeled the the skin off of the onion on this one. I feel Ya. PEACE. |
OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY Goddess Bee
Help Is On The Way~Help Is On The Way~ I watched one of my sistas, (another black wombman) struggle to carry her grocery bags, while two brothas was walking nearby her.... One said, "aye man let's ask her if she needs our help", the other responded, "Hell nah bruh dat ain't my b***h! Her ni**a shouldn't have her out here with dem sh*ts, and if she ain't got no ni**a it's probably her own fault...thats why she lookin sad! Let the b***h carry her own damn bags," The other one laughed & said "man you wrong!" & they proceeded down the street to their homes... Meanwhile the black wombman continues to struggle, she was tired, bags looked like they weighed 1000 pounds....people passing by her looking all around, while some of the others kept their eyes on the ground.... In hopes that she wouldn't ask for assistance, now pay attention so u won't miss this..... I walked up to her & was about to grab some of the bags from her hand & then I heard the voice of a man....... He said, "I'll be...  |
Wrong Or Right?How can something so bad, feel so good? Or is it not bad at all & really that good? But I just misunderstood? If I could turn back the hands of times with this, really...I don't know if I would... I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't put my all into it this time...then again, maybe I should. At times I feel like I took a bite out of a forbidden fruit like Eve...& maybe I'm destined for trouble & pain..other times I feel like a million bucks kuz IM tha QUEEN & I reign... How can happiness make u feel confused? A smile is a helluva lot better then being used & abused... So why am I questioning my smile? As long as it's there it's a good thing right? Or is that I'm in denial? I love the feeling it brings so I hope it stays around a while...Did something so bad really make me feel so good? If It's wrong I don't think I wanna be right.....kuz whatever this feelin inside of me is makin me wanna put up a fight...
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BleedingMy heart is Bleeding right outta my chest. I got tissues & towels tryin to soak it up, tryin my best.... It started leaking thru my eyes, I cried blood tears..& then it ran outta my nose & then came out thru my ears.... My heart is bleeding, I can't stop it & I'm scared. If it bleeds all the way out, I doubt my life can be spared... I need a transfusion, come bleed some blood back inside of me, pump it thru my veins, get me to where I need to be...stitch it up, hell staple it back up if need be, anything u have to do to bleed life back inside of me... My heart is bleeding, & now it's leaking down from between my legs... It's not a cycle of nature, it's pure desperation on my part..help it to clot, don't just walk on my heart... Kuz it's bleeding, I'm not looking for a donor, my name's not on the recipient list. Just help me fix mine...it's about the size of my fist....I wouldn't wanna take anybody else's outta their chest, kuz the one I already got is the absolute best....but r... |
Love is CrazyLove will have u crazy! Walking barefoot in a snowstorm... 20 below zero without a mf'n coat on..Just crazy..straight psychotic actions. Not givin a damn about anybody or their satisfaction. Love can make u strong but still make u sad, have u happy at the same time u feelin mad....Can't live with it, can't live without it...but, I'm puttin the sh*t on hold! Kuz it's ALOT of stuff I'm tired of, the sh*t's getting old. U would be shocked to all hell if the secrets would unfoldd, but it's none of your business...so mind ur own! & NO! I don't need u to pick up the phone.....Just know that love is crazy, it can have u cold....without Heat, Rest without sleep, trick without treat, Sow without Reap.... just Crazy.....
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Guilty Conscience |
Perfectly ImperfectI may not be perfect but at least I'm Me. Some call me crazy but I still have some sanity. I don't watch my weight, I love to eat, and I'm thick... I could never be petite, hell I don't wanna look sick. I smoke my trees, I'll admit it kuz it relaxes my nerves, some don't agree but to me it's a natural herb *shrug*... I don't wear my seatbelt even though I should the only time it crosses my mind is when I'm ridin through tha hood. Certain officers know my name but it's not kuz of my past... They know my family's rep kuz they always gettin money fast. It's a family trait, and yea, I did my share but people change everyday. Holding it against me just ain't fair |
Kept It InsideThe time I almost died, I kept it inside... I don't want your pity, I've got too much pride... When my heart was broken, no words were spoken... Because I didn't wanna hear, "I told you so".... I just kept it inside so no one would ever know. I kept it inside, even though I cried when I was all alone.... I don't fit in anywhere, feel like I don't even belong.... I kept it inside when I was a victim of sexual harassment on the job, because I needed the money and swore that I would never ever rob a soul again..... I kept it inside when I lost my friend... Lost to substance abuse from depression, and when its all gone it turns into aggression...... I kept it inside when I lost myself to alcohol and not enough rest... Tried to stay high so I would never come down, but it didn't solve anything because it always came back around. The pain that is, which always comes back again.. I kept it inside... Because it's much easier to just pretend... So..... I kept it inside |
UntitledHe says the reason that I flip when my period's on is kuz I'm an angel and I'm outside of my spiritual form.... But when I'm in my physical form, if I get cut..he bleeds..so doesn't that make him as much of an angel as me? Whateva it is that we are supposed to be, don't have a damn thang to do wit what otha people think..I'm his definition of what an Ebony Queen should be, and I accept my role..sort of hesitantly, but on my throne is wher I'll be..if there is anybody out there lookin' for me. |
My Little AngelMy little baby left the world before he even took his first breath They rushed me into the operating room because both of our lives were about to end in death I've got scars that will live with me forever Will I forget my son, oh hell no! Never!... My little angel comes to visit me in my dreams and he says, "Mommy don't cry, it's not as bad as it seems" The angels up here are taking very good care of me and they said I am more perfect then that world will ever be I've got my angel's name tattooed across my heart and there is nobody or nuthin' that will ever keep us apart My little angel comes visits me when I cry and he wipes away all my tears until they are dry He whispers in my ear and tells me encouraging things..and says "Mommy I love you, see you in your next dream" |
A RoseI'm a rose That got all of my pretty petals popped off and left with nothing but thorns for the next man that comes to hold me Will I ever bloom again? Can anybody even console me? I'm like a blood diamond that most would kill to have but when they get me they take me for granted It's sickening and it never makes sense to me and I don't ever think I'll understand it I'm a Queen without a King Like a wife without a Ring Like the flowers trying to grow without the rain in the spring.... I have fears... And I have tears that never get wiped away because I wanna be a lady and wear my panties but... I gotta wear boxers TOO... Everyday How can I be a lady if I'm doing all the things that a man was designed to do? With nobody to call on.... Nobody to run to.... I wanna be held without lashing out because of the pain from the past I NEED to be loved, protected, and cherished....and put on a pedestal... And I NEED it fast There's no way in hell that God would take Adam... |