2300
You’re waiting for a train.
A train that will take you far away.
You know where you hope this train will take you, but you can’t be sure.
Yet it doesn’t matter.
I looked deeply into her eyes,
Now tell me why?
A flash back of the ultimate trust
Two individuals from different worlds
Naked, filled with love and lust
As I lay in the hospital bed she is all I think of
Whether it is dreams or nightmares
She is all I dream of
So many mistakes on my part
That it formed itself into an emotionless piece of art
As I stared at the masterpiece that I created
I connected lines and paths that was full of hatred
Nurse Jenny takes good care of me
She pushes me around
Gives me my medication and even watches me until I fall asleep
I’m not sure if she has family
But I tell her about mines
Well some part back in my life, that I’d consider lost time
The more I talk to her
For whatever reason
The more I drift into the past
Reminiscing
As I held her hand and we’d both laugh
Only then could I see
How happy we were
As she rubbed food off of my cheek
I closed my eyes
It was too much for me to bare
Knowing her heart would be broken
Eventually she’d walk away
But I’d be dangling from a single strand of her hair just to stay
Sometimes I’m in a daze, and tears come to my eyes
To see the love of my life hurt
To see my queen cry
Knowing that I was part to blame for her pain
But I was happy so I thought
Trying to figure out where or what part of the relationship
Did I get lost?
Hindsight is 20/20
So much change was thrown at me
I was found picking up the pennies
What mattered most which was me
Was absent and wasn’t a priority
Marriage:
The thought was so premature
To my mature mind
At that early stage in my life
That it began to infect my dreams at night
I hear voices
While I’m sleeping
While I’m dreaming
There are skeletons
Jumping out of closets in my mind
I’m possessed with these demons
When I’m wide awake
She consumes my mind, so much so that
I lose track of time
I can remember certain parts of my day
Like nurse Jenny
And the treatments
I have to take to stay alive
But truly I only take them to keep dreaming
I’ve lost touch of reality
But I’m stable
I’m okay tho
I observe
Only now I am able
To appreciate her more
I study her every move
From the unique way her left leg moves when she walks
To her top lip that twitches every 15 seconds when she talks
These memories are killing me slowly but the mental presents of her keeps me alive
Boy oh boy
Did I have so much pride
As the diamond fell
And shattered into millions of pieces in every which a way
I thought
I had no chance of picking the pieces up
Even if she helped
In my mind id be making it worst
So at that moment I decided to walk away
Before I turned the corner
A chill ran through my bones
As I’d never forget the look on her face
Which almost always brings me back to this place
Jenny you’ve been looking after me for a long while
I just want you to know
You remind me of her smile
I’m tired, Jenny
Tired of living
With this empty feeling
I’ve prayed every day, seems like a century
But I don’t think God hears me
I’m not getting any younger
It hurts when I breathe
I can’t stand up on my own
I've worn out my knees
It’s a constant battle in my mind
But hey, what do I have to live for
Jenny, she’s not coming
She's not coming to see me, is she?
As tears ran down my face
The medication kicks in
Everything slowed down & started to get blurry
I see Jenny waving her hand
Her mouth is moving
But i hear nothing
There was a lot of commotion going on
But I’m not sure if I can
Go on
Quicksand it seemed like
I had no control
I was sinking
Sinking into a dream,
That seemed forever unfinished
I closed my eyes for the last time
While still holding on to a love
As if it was my last dime
With the last few breaths that I had left
I squeezed Nurse Jenny hand tight
As the tears trickled from my eyes
And I repeated
Something that was near and dear to my heart
Something I once knew but chose to forget
It’s what kept me alive & at the same time torn me apart
I said faintly. ...........
You’re waiting for a train.
A train that will take you far away.
You know where you hope this train will take you, but you can’t be sure.
Yet it doesn't matter.
Now tell me why?
I felt a finger gently resting upon my lips
A familiar face rubbed softly against mines
A scent that had stuck with me
Since the beginning of time
She kissed the side of my cheek
Her lips were soft as a feather
As she whispered in my ear
Because we’ll be together!!!
I would like to credit the movie Inception for inspiring my to use a line from the movie to capture the connection and relationship in this poem.
Nolan, C., Thomas, E., DiCaprio, L., Watanabe, K., Gordon-Levitt, J., Cotillard, M., Page, E., ... Warner Home Video (Firm). (2010). Inception. Burbank, CA: Warner Bros. Entertainment, Inc.
