35000
3
For most of my life I was dumb founded
Ground shaken so much
MY foundation to stand firm
I never found it
I was born an emotional scorn
An intellectual and realistic thorn
Became obvious
That my birth was nothing but a burden
I was for over 25 years
Filled with tears and aggravated fears
Because in my spirit I was alone & hurting!
Got tatted
Ignored this reality
Because I never had it
My reality was that of scientific mathematics
My personality became twisted and enigmatic
I socially became philosophically problematic
In the big picture
I guess it doesn’t really even matter
The pain took my heart and soul
Crushed the two into 7th dimensional matter
My inner self would shatter
Felt the rush of a hush
Was forced to create my own
And climb up Jacob’s ladder
I progressed in age
Internalized my rage
Flipped the page
To start a new phase
Created alter egos
To help with dealing
With the turbulent winds
That in MY direction they always would blow
Each character helped me to identify deeper issues at hand
Then they each became their own defined and highly identifiable man
Personalities became separate and each stepped to the plate
And all the while
With this planet or anyone on it
I was never able to coherently relate
My hate then shifted
My hate became love and adoration
I began to transform
Probably the glory of Illumination
Wisdom beseeched me
Ignorance swiftly fled
And I became free in me
I pushed further from society
To remain a man of spiritual sobriety
Filled my world with empty isolation
But never allowed a moment of stagnation
Somehow was still able to have special conversation
But in the presence of more than 3 individuals
My heart would begin its terribly agonizing palpitations
So without hesitation
I went off the reservation
Decided to focus on more internal spiritual preservation
Slowly began to recognize humanities lies
And filled my spirit with intense concentration
Until I was fully blessed with wisdom
Let alone the power of Illumination
Then came forth
Not from the South, West or East
But came from the North
Upward star peeling away the scabs
That covered my emotional scars
Thus came forth Strange Poet
He would be my internal deity
But I never really did know it
But through my actions
I would satisfactorily show it
Opportunities to reveal rewards of glory
I would jump at it and make sure to not blow it
A few years had then passed
I became a horrible debating instigator
SkTzO entered the reality of my being
He told me he is the leader of the many personalities I’ve been seeing
They did his bidding and all he was decreeing
But then came the Almighty
He chose to show me powerfully and not lightly
Made me lose sleep for many nights
And showed me the REAL me
Oh how unsightly!
I then came to realize
That my many were deviations of fact
Spirituality learned on so many levels through out my life
Were still not grounded
And were articulated with lack of tact
Sop now that I think back
I can see that all they were inside of me
Were many versions of me hiding !
Blindsiding me
My brain separated from its now core
To try to not let me consciously see and abhor
The trueness of my weakness
My need for a savior
ONLY Jesus
Has given me the actual ability
To transform my every day conversation & behavior
And now a new metaphysical flavor is what I do savor
GOD
Gave me a job to act or speak what is considered odd
But I am on the job
And must work tenaciously all day and night
Sharing my experiences and God given light
Some may need it
Others may spoil it
And others may use it to guide them to the Greater light
I am but a mere man of many selves that were self created
And though not a sin in and of itself
Many times away from God, I had deviated
But I am solely a man
And God took me and He RE created
Breathed a new life
New lungs to breathe new air
And with my old self
I should neither would I even dare ot compare
I now have true wisdom to share
And that wisdom is God is gracious
God is love
God is GOOD
The definition of GOOD being that HE would allow what we as humans determine to be heart breaking or bad, if ultimately the circumstance draws you back to HIM.
That’s a God of such love
That he literally does anything for anyone
Just to get their attention
But without force
Whisper here or there
Quotations or sayings you may hear
Or
Highly perfectly imperfect creatures as myself speaking of His divinity
His divine ability
To not only offer you
But sustain internal and mental tranquility
And if you do choose HIM in all sincerity
You will be forgiven, loved, and embraced
And given eternity in a moments blink of an eye
And you will have instant BIG PICTURE lucidity
SkTzO
