Canvas of Catastrophe

Depression

Who am I? Who am I trying to be?

Not myself, anyone but myself.

Living in a fantasy to bury the reality,

Making myself the mystery,

A strong facade disguising the misery.

Empty, but beyond the point of emptiness,

Full to brim with fake confidence,

A guard that will never be broken,

Because I broke a long time ago.

I’m hurting but don’t tell anyone.

No one needs to know.

Don’t show or you’ve failed.

Always okay, always fine, always on show.

The show must go on.

It will never stop.

The show must not go on,

But I know it will.

I give up. I give up giving up.

I am lost.

I don’t need to be saved,

I need to be found.

You Deserve The World Sis

No matter what you keep telling yourself or what other people tell you, you deserve to have anything and be everything you have ever wanted to be.
You deserve to feel happiness, the kind of happiness that radiates off of you and makes the world a better place. You deserve to feel loved; to feel butterflies, to feel like your head is spinning and your heart is on fire because you are so in love. You deserve to be with someone who wants to hear about your dreams and who will support you in making those dreams a reality. You deserve to have a partner who knows what a privilege it is to have you in their life, and you deserve to know that they are out there, and to never settle for anything less than. You deserve to love yourself, to truly and genuinely love yourself, because it is never selfish to love yourself and be proud of the person you have become or are aspiring to be. And you deserve to know it’s okay to not be there yet. You deserve to wake up each day ...

Get Your Act Together

Get your act together 

read the script, lines written verse. 

Your audience is only that of one 

judging everything you've rehearsed. 

Do not wait until show time 

when your curtain rises up. 

Trying to remember what lines you've read 

that will never be enough. 

One day you'll be called onto the stage 

to parade your skills of given task. 

And then the words of judgment 

questions of you, your God will ask. 

Did you practice your script my child? 

Did you read the book I gave? 

Did you come to Me for forgiveness? 

Of which to you, was a promise made. 

Or have you waited till the call was heard? 

Then tried to cram in every word. 

For n...

With You

I look forward to writing new

chapters in our novel of life

waiting to see what each chapter 

unfolds

With You....

I want to do 

what spring does to

the cherry trees

"Blossom"

With You....

I want to travel distant lands

visit the Eiffel Tower or shop 

& take in a show on Champs Elysees 

I've always wanted to go to France

Let's get spiritual and 

take a pilgrimage to Mecca,

the Islamic holy land,

Not saying we have to convert 

just want a chance at the experience.

After learning about Mohammad

We can walk the "Jesus Trail"

hand and hand.....beginning 

underneath Nazareth stars. Praying together at the 

Mount of Beatit...

When Did You Stop..........

When did you stop......

I swear some days I sit out & whisper this amongst the trees.  

Once said I was your prize possession, like your trophy piece. You'd shine me up all pretty, set me out front, show me off for the whole world to see.

Even said I was your dime piece. 

I mean it was like our names were all up in these streets. 

Hey...did you see those 2 they really seem to be in love. 

They really go together like a hand in glove. 

I mean what happened? 

Did the glove not fit? Tell me when did I stop being like your favorite song

You know???

"Your "

Not in the literal sense

but the figurative one. It's like my name stopped rolling across your tongue. As if I no longer shined bright as your sun. Being out & about with Lord knows who. When did I stop being the craze for you? When once wa...

Two Words (part I)

My Heaven 
My Hell 
My Joy 
My Pain 
My Heart 
My Soul 
This Mind 
InSane 
This Hurt 
This Love 
This CAN'T 
Be It 
I won't 
Continue 
To Take 
This Shyt
These Tears 
I Cry 
You Won't 
See Them 
I Won't 
Shed Them 
I Won't 
Let Them 
Beat Me 
Keep Me 
Down On 
The Ground 
You Took 
My Kingdom 
But Not 
My Crown 
You Stole 
From Me
But I'm 
Still Rich 
No More 
Name Calling 
RESPECT 
This B!tch
This Woman 
Your Lover 
Your Friend 
Or Foe 
Your Mother&nbs...

Two Words (Part I)

My Heaven 
My Hell 
My Joy 
My Pain 
My Heart 
My Soul 
This Mind 
InSane 
This Hurt 
This Love 
This CAN'T 
Be It 
I won't 
Continue 
To Take 
This Shyt
These Tears 
I Cry 
You Won't 
See Them 
I Won't 
Shed Them 
I Won't 
Let Them 
Beat Me 
Keep Me 
Down On 
The Ground 
You Took 
My Kingdom 
But Not 
My Crown 
You Stole 
From Me
But I'm 
Still Rich 
No More 
Name Calling 
RESPECT 
This
This Woman 
Your Lover 
Your Friend 
Or Foe 
Your Mother 
Your Sister 

Who Am I?

I am the ring around Saturn

spinning words as particles of ice and dust

with the power to transcend

I am the original chosen to be right here right now

transmitting verbal frequencies 

through speaking my thoughts into existence

I am the heir of omnipotence,

born with a direct connection to profound abundance 

The one whose words will age, yet still have substance;

since there are no boundaries attached to my pen

I am constant energy

Translating personal experience into imagery 

Vulnerable to tyranny,

yet i continue attempting to share some truth

through this abstract language of poetry

I am the core

I am that I am more

I am the Divine Presence that is the Source of my rewards

I am the green you get when you mix too much yellow with the blue

...

Insecurities or Instinct

Love... 
The alcohol of a woman's heart 
Forcing judgements to be impaired 
Ignoring the instincts speaking to our heart 
We want so much 
For him to be "Mr. Right" 
That we convince ourselves 
That WE are the reason he won't treat us right 
We force ourselves to believe 
One day he will change 
One day things will be perfect 
And he is worth the wait 
Something like an addict 
With a needle full of the devils poison 
Injecting ourselves with hurt 
Because he makes us happy for a moment 
The longer we wait 
The more we take 
The harder it gets 
From this "love" to escape 
A never ending maze 
Letting him state his case 
Forgiving all his mistakes 
While heart being...

Broken Strings

He took me to inner places
he taught me
he taught me that I could sleep inside my mind
 
He was my box of secrets
hidden beneath night time constellations
filled with 1 am revelations
tucked inside corners
that the rest of the world
was too blind to find
 
And when I felt confined to the creations of life,
he handed me a knife and said
carve your existence
 
He said teach them
teach them what it means to be beautiful inside
even when it appears that all the rest have died
 
His ears cried as I slowly slit my wrists
and he, he listened
because he, he always listened
 
He listened as soft music began to drain
like blood read stains dancing across cloudless skies
and he watched
he watched the tears that filled my eyes
and he whispered
 
He whispered with...