Solitary Freedom

Least Triumphant Return

I've been gone for so long

Yet it's an all too familiar song.

The words bleed from the page

As if blood from the wisest sage,

So much has changed around me

Yet I'm stuck in place, struggling to break free.

So here's my triumphant return

The kings last wishes lie herein;

Remember the shining brilliance of yore

Not the faded spectre that stands afar,

The gleam has been lost with dust and time

My creativity decayed, what's left is rot and slime.

The Traveler

I've lived a thousand lives but none of them complete, saw life through a million eyes but it only left my soul deplete.

I've been in the darkest pit but haven't rose to the tallest mountain, have seen the ruin of what I've built but never the immortality of the fountain.

Listen to the tale of this weary man of travel It's a word of warning as well as advice, Be grateful for the life you unravel Or you may find your soul in a vice.

For every happy moment is fleeting The fall back to earth is always inevitable, My old self is slowly drifting and dying But keeping me alive, this new life in unable.

Realization

No escape from the past,

No concealment that will last.

No drug to forever mask,

No bottomless ever-filled flask.

No words can ever console,

No deity to save your soul.

No one thing will heal you,

No cure for what you've been through.

Only the single sickening realization,

It only ends with your own termination.

The Dam

Another day another night,
The dam breaks loose, what a fright.
The sturdy walls turn to clay,
The torrent washes everything away.

Howling currents of disappointment and strife,
When it's drained, perhaps there's new life.
Built upon the ruins of yesterday,
Hoping that this life will be better, I pray.

Tomorrow Never Comes

It's endless, something vast yet miniscule,

The repetition is suffocating under this rule.

I pray to see the sunrise after It sets,

But in the end there are no safe bets.

Waiting for a tomorrow that has never come,

Stuck within a Today that there's no escape from.

The sun never rises in this desolate place,

Stuck in twilight, there is no saving grace.

Adjusted to darkness and the void therein,

The quest for redemption cannot begin.

So at peace with this terror and pain,

Kept in the darkness is the only way to stay sane.

The light is blinding and unravels the mystery,

It'll leave you exposed and all your history.

The scarred creature you are would be revealed,

No amount of medicine would leave you healed.

The Truth In The Lie

Time and time again,

I end up where i began.

How much learning I've done,

All The times I've been on the run.

This life is nothing like  a fairytale

More of a never ending nightmare without fail.`

Just keep living, just keep moving forward,

Sooner or later you'll get the richest reward.

But the guiding light fades each year,

Some things are lost in the haze and fear.

Life Is What You Make It

This life is what you make it,

Whether you're happy or throwing a fit.

It all comes with your perspective,

Either jubilant or depressive.

I've often seen the dark side of life,

With all the pain and the strife.

Today i'm starting to see it bright,

The darkness receding with little fight.

Her smile is enough to illuminate it all,

Even bringing me back from such a horrid fall.

Without the need of a strong drink,

She's brought me back from the brink.

Illusionist

I hold no vivid or striking illusions of grandeur

I don't believe that all is forgiven overnight

You can hide your feelings in your smile or posture

All the while holding onto the slight.

Forgive and forget is what they preach

But it's not something i can envision,

At least not for this pathetic leech

I'd rather a lashing with poetic precision.

So here's your last hurrah!

You are better off forgotten

On the outside you were beautiful like flora,

Inside, something dark and rotten.

Untimely Demise

I feel like it's a dream,

The foreground is so serene.

Then the terrible trembling

The shaking so frightening.

You called to me, i would not hear you,

I feel i almost wished this on you too.

The sick feeling from hearing the truth,

Trapped in my solitary booth.

I lost you so long ago, you haven't been mine,

But it's different to hear your life is on the line.

Everything now seems so petty,

All the reasons i hated you, what a pitty.

Nothing you did could make you deserve it,

With my head in my palms, I solemnly sit.

Hoping it won't be so soon for your last breath,

For what a shame it would be, you're untimely death.

Sea of Uncertainty

Through this addiction I numb the pain,

Stupifying until there's not a thought on my brain.

The act of it is so clear,

Self medicating to cover my fear.

The social anxiety is all too much,

Resulting in a hermit, i am as such.

The depression doesn't abate,

dark thoughts that i constantly debate.

Take a good look into my eyes,

Is it any wonder how my smile lies?

On the surface i appear calm, and loving

Underneath is a sea of insecurity constantly churning.

The only thought that helps late at night,

Is someone has a much worse plight.

So I self medicate to get by,

Hoping to brave this storm safe and dry.