Sometimes circumstances arise
That force tears into our eyes
As much of crying you may disdainfully despise
It doesn’t matter how much your heart tries
The heart can be so shattered
That love for any sometimes, eventually dies!
You eyes reveal what the heart feels
And your breathing escalates the tear drops
Scream your pain on all mountain tops
Until your voice gets hoarse
But the heart bleeds and then scar forms
Its scars make the fibrous tissue
An emotional issue
Thus resentment forms
Distrust has risen from the ashes
Thunder, bolts of pain through your body
As spirits cry for understanding
You remain flying in confusion
Because of the great fear of landing
Spirit dismantled
Placed on a mantle
Heart sheds its power to pump
You then choke
As your throat gets filled with a lump
Skin gets ashy
Thoughts get nasty
Emotional suicide
It’s either do or die
Will You or I, ever try?
We must no longer deny
The feelings of being lost in the abyss
Weeping even while sleeping
Awake time, is bleak and dismal
There are plenty of sometimes
That the rhymes in my mind
Can not be placed into coherent pattern like lines
So I recline and decline to even write
When my heart is bleeding twenty four seven
I seek death and beg God to take me to heaven
Shaven head
Dust on skull
Hades has become my only friend
Gehenna forever burns my emotions
And my flesh slowly rots due to autoimmune systemic chronic problems
No one yet, has been able to solve them
I yearn to better understand and discern
I no longer seek to learn
If that is the purpose of my continuous fleshy burn
When shall it be my turn?
To awaken to fresh air
No longer living in financial hard ship or marital despair
Material things mean not much
But I do enjoy NOT being out of touch
For over 4 yrs now I lived with an emotional crutch
God being my path and my light daily
But that has not stopped my bleeding heart from bleeding
It just helps me deal with it a little longer
God has granted me power to be a tad bit stronger
But I am tired of strength to suffer
Give me weakness to enjoy
Grant me wisdom to see and fully understand
The purpose of letting my heart bleed, daily for 4+ yrs!
Spirit has a multitude of time been shaken
Skin peeling, muscles weaken, tendons and joints ache
Memory fading while my bones are breaking!
Why have you made me modern day Job?
What’s the point? Who does my suffering serve?
I am human and very hard for me to have my doubt curb!
I believe and yet believe with a touch of doubt
I know GOD can do anything including heal me
But He may choose not to and that is HIS right to do so
I question the lessons even within the obvious blessings
Because I am tired of feeling my heart bleeding
And always trying to find answers to my daily testings
SkTzO