im tired.......

First Impression

First impression, I left it, scattered on his sheets along with our scent.

That smell. The scent follows me. Tasting left over alcohol on the tip of my tongue, replies in my mind, oh well. I’m still young,

His face iconic, body the same, his personality, seems untouchable .His touch as gentle as the last love I once had, the ending exactly the same,/ getting to know you is as impossible as touching a celebrity’s hand at a concert, so close yet, but so far.

Thinking you could be that one to heal the scars on my heart,

Thinking to hard, way too far in advance, the highs and lows

Symptoms of woes, will it ever be, I wonder

First impression, late dinners, opened doors, secrets shared I don’t see anymore.

I...

i can't help but miss you ...

It hasn’t been long… about 5 and a half months maybe 6,

I cant help but miss you , 

your sweet voice, laugh, touch, your lips

When I think about you, I feel you all over me,

Reminiscing, of us kissing how powerful it used to be.

I still can feel, your arms around me, as we hug goodbye

I knew this moment would come,

Us…never speaking a word, …

WHY???

Allowing time to pass us by

MOVING ON…..

I cared; I can’t help but miss you

I will not miss the disrespect, hurt feelings , anger

With arguments.

I won’t miss wondering ,.........

 if you really care about me…..

As the distance killed me slowly inside, The fact that

I was feeling you I couldn’t hide

 and I still am…. Silence is golden.

I will hold my feelings inside ,P...

im tired.......

Lies being told to me once again,

i hear all the same words , but this time,

was different …

a new feeling, Tired…. I open up..

The biggest mistake ever, how could I have ***ed up

Allowing you in my small space

No sound, no emotion, not even air could get in

I breathe in your every word as oxygen itself,

I see a RED flag here, I feel iniquity there

I ignore the signs of ignorance, & that this doesn’t mean

I strived us on hopeless lies of...I want you’s…..us …I care, believing

In you wanting something different& you would always be there

Thinking I was the chosen one

But I began to see the room being filled like a pool of blood,

the less blue I see,

You showed me your true colors of black formed with red.

I didn’t understand, as much as then But I am fully aware,

Especially for you (for him )

I am smothered by love.. I am waiting,

 Patiently to be taken……….

Seriously.

The love I have to give is simplicity

I can’t seem to understand the meaning of this feeling.

Your words spoken aloud, reads me your heart.

Seems to be surrounded and drowned by the dark.

You live in a past of pain and distrust; I want things to be different for you, like we discussed,

Plant me the seed of strength and security & I the same for you.

Let me redefine your perception of what a woman is.

But if only you knew I maybe …her….

That exquisite breakthrough.

My heart says pursue this and see where this goes, my mind is shrieking

No!

I am smothered by love.. I am waiting,

UNFINISHED

Caressing my hips those hands, I can’t forget

My lips, so moist to the sound of his voice

The love I crave inside is creeping up my thighs

Reminiscing thoughts as i indulge in his stride.

Sudden anticipation, lust takes over, tears began to fall,

This can’t be real; my body gives in, my mind screams, NO

Only if I could wait, see were this goes, what future does this hold

Only passion. Love I seek, your kiss I’m weak.

A closer look, reading in between intertwined lines, of lies adjusted by sound ,enlightened by sun, surrounded by darkness,

Caressing my hips those hands I can’t forget

my lips, So moist to the sound of your voice.

Immersed into love, I submit to  passion, but yet only

Mentally,  physically I am absent.

Reminiscing,  Randomly.