I Must Have Been Drunk

I Killed Her

I killed her today.

I made sure she bleed a pool of silk red.

I made sure the ground stay stained.

Nor the rain can wash it away.

I killed her with my hands,

I killed her with my heart,

I killed her with myself.

I made sure she could feel the pain.

I make sure she feel her blood seeping threw

the grasp of her soul.

Let everyone hear her cries.

But no one stopped to watch her die.

I made sure she saw the life she was suppose

to carry like her own child.

Want to know how I can do this?

Because she who I killed

She was filled with me.

Because she is me.

I killed myself.

.

Why I Write

I write because I really want to cry

I write to hold back my fist from fights.

I write to stay sane

because with out this

I wouldn't be here.

I would have screwed everything

over sooner and destroyed myself.

I hate my anger so I put it on paper and

not on you.

I need something to do to keep breathing.

With my writings, you have my life.

With my paper you have my soul.

With my pens

you have my heart.

My poems are and forever me.

I love them the way I love air.

But days I have to throw them away so

no one can see what I am going threw.

I don't want the world to have me

not yet at least.

I want to be hidden

stayed put in the darkness for a little longer.

I need my time away

so I pick out my thoughts and out em on paper.

I don't want you around so I put that on paper

too.

I like ...

Lets Write our Souls

Lets write our soul.

Lets write our heart,

Lets write our thoughts,

Lets write me.

I am someone is is that of none.

I am a sleep but with eyes open.

I am that of thoughts and

visions.

I have hands to hold the force

but I want fist to fight.

I need something or someone but what?

I need help and am that of

help.

I am lost

I am found

I am misplaced but forever played with.

Can someone else point me in the direction?

.

Shooter

running with a gun

hidden in the bushes

i see my enemy run past

but i am too scared to move

scared because i want to go home

home to a warm plate

home to see my family

and kiss my baby brother goodnight

instead

i pull my wits, stand up and shoot

killing my other half

a mirror i shot into

.

Pep-Talk

.I stand infront of the mirror

re-reading my poem over

telling myslef "I can do this", 'I know this poem by heart".

but deep down in my veins runs‎ ambiguity.

Yeah,

I may know the poem from top to bottom

But that doesn't stop the diaphoresis

from dripping off my face.

Then my mind begins to roll.

Like a movie I see the acts of it all.

Me standing there,

breaking silence with my poem

I look up becuase I realized,

I've messed up.

I look into the crowed to see everyone laughing

like I'm a jester or something.

My face falls and keeps falling .

I turn red and end up walking off stage.

I pop back into reality and tell myself

"Yeah, I got this"

with a look of a warrior, who knows she'll win the battle,

in my eyes.

.

American Dream

What is the American dream?

Little girls getting raped

And noone hears her scream

Young boys going day by day

Turning out to be gay

Just to get some ass

You tell me America

What is your dream?

I walk these streets

And see nothing but hipocrites

And politics

Girls walking becoming tricks

Guys beating their kids

Just because they want to be a

So tell me America

What is your dream?

Because when I walk into the courts

I see these judges useing big words like

Admissible

Acquittal

Chapter 7

Chapter 11

And I see they know

Some people minds wont flow

With these slickblows

So I ask the courts

What do you take us for?

And I ask the people

who do you see us for?

And I ask America

What is the American dream?

.

I Must Have Been Drunk