Trying to numb out this pain
I do not lose it but gain
Heart always sad and heavy
Trying to piece fragments of my life...
There are many
Never want to build bridges...I put up walls
Got no one to answer, text or call
Feeling no one standing next to me
For once I want to feel alive to see
That maybe
I could be someone that lives happily
Not angrily
Who was I in my past life
Feel like I'll be paying for it in my afterlife
Pray to God Almighty to give me strength
Fight each day to the nearest tenth
I know some of you feel the same way I do
Not battered or shattered but just blue
Thick cloud embraces my feelings
Doesnt allow science to do it's healings
Nothing can take this pain that screws me
It feels like blank space entirely
My life needs to begin again
Get down at night and pray my Amen
Stare in the skies past what looks like stars
I've been staring for hours
No answers to this conclusion
It really messed up thoughts with more confusion
With lots of happiness and different illusions