Not For You

Just To Say

Someone once said that love was the hardest "yes" that I would ever succumb to

And for so long, I can always attest to proving them right.

Because love was everything but easy

..I never found my footing in that race

 Nor felt victorious in the battles that came with it

Until I met you.

Looking at you was easiest thing my heart could have ever  done

It was turning away that always proved  most difficult

...Because nothing within you denied all of what was deep inside of me

...It was you that opened me..

Like the dusty and untouched books on my antique coffee table

You read me so clearly

And even when fear would strike me and my mind begged me to say no..

It was my heart that answered first 

&...

2 AM

Sunshine and hell’s aura light your eyes

And I find myself drifting underneath the waves of your rays

Wishing…. that I could just lie there

For days…

Chastising the surface of my soul

Underneath the victimization that always seems to follow the heat of your flames

Knowing…

That we will never again find the most beautiful hues of blue

Which haunts me on these coldest of nights…

That I find myself embedded with you

For, sunrise always relinquishes the hopes of promises…  darings of truth..

Because, even I know that you won’t be here…

Once the clock caresses the minute that follows right after 2

Sugar and Spice

If I could stand at the top of the towers and speak to some little  girl in this world.

I would lean over lovingly, hug her tightly and whisper ...”You’re amazing.”

If given the opportunity, I would take her tiny hand into mine so that she could feel “Certainty”.

Flow the falls of positive vibrations that spin from the palms of my own into her tiny unknown grasps....

...and show her that she resonates...

Light...

In ways that could never be outshined for she has never seen the darkness that peaks after night...

I would tell her...

“You... are sunshine.”

Peering past the closeness of trees awaiting to kiss the skin of someone in need.

Yes... If only I was allowed to speak...

I would tell that...

The Myth of the Strong Black Woman (Revamped)

The Myth of the Strong Black Woman

Wounded and tainted…

Formed by change.

Why is it so wrong to drop  tears before they reach the back of her hand?

She is cemented in pain…

And offered no foundation to withstand…

She creates waves of emotion like those crashing over the most tormented of sands..

And yet again…

She is always taught to be…

Poised and collected

Harboring  masks of pain formed under her own hypocrisy…

Withering under yet…another society’s plea.

For she succumbs to the idealism of what it truly means to be called “weak.”

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She walks in lands of those familiar spaces…<...

Irreversible

Intense breaths and hollow sighs

You gazed upon me and questioned my desires.

Crippled...

By my own heat trickling between spaces of my thighs all the way down to my knees..

I uttered… “You."

But with choked, stout sentences…

You deliciously...watched.

As I unintentionally crossed and uncrossed the entrance that held the fire burning within my vicinity.

 I couldn’t even speak..

Knowing...that like prophetic stories on untouched and dusted book shelves,  I was told..

You could read the fire written right within my need 

And like fallen words onto deafened ears

I faintly heard your whispers… "Alexis just breathe"...👄

                                               &n...

Indulgence

I lay awake in my bed 
Dreaming over the way your body tasted earlier 
That salty sweetness still lingering over the curves of my lips.
Knowing it's not enough 
Steady craving  the sugar that came buried in your hips 
Wanting for them to part for me like oceans over Moses eyes in agony.
Understanding what he felt.... in that moment 
For this would be my last chance at freedom as well 
But, the only difference between he and I?
Is that. I...
I am willing to drown
 ..lose myself under the oceans of your tide...
...and plead for you to devour me...
Under the hell and high rise that came with those thighs 
Because baby..
...something inside me told me that I can walk on water 
That I could..
Swim over the rise of your breast and somehow find myself in that sunken paradise..
And for that... 
Ther...

Dream Catcher

I wonder when I close my eyes does yours meet mine..

Do they gaze into the longing of my undying dreams?

Tear stricken and hungry for love...knowing that this the only place I'll find you. 

Breathing deeper, I pray for more of this sunken place.

Where dances are cloud high and caresses only hold me for a night's moment. 

Here, I find freedom.

Flying high amongst the honey of your kisses..

And the knowing that the crashing is somewhere near. 

Yet somehow

The breaking in my bones never compares the waking of a broken heart

The shattering of dawn as she pulls you from my sheets...

Farther and farther from me...

Leaving me to wonder...

Does your gaze meet mine at the opening of your eyes?

The Indigo Exchange

I admired the sun glisten as your eyes gazed off today.

Unfamiliar to the reading, I questioned your newfound wonder.

Only then, did you meet me.

Head tilted toward the sun and eyes locked to mine, you responded.

"Your happiness?" 

"Does it lie...within me?"

Softly spoken, I listened as you  relinquished faint words as though not your own.

Anticipation in your tone, I recognized.

And instinctively, I reached to caress your fears..

"My love," I began,

Curving my lips into a thrill that would reveal fairytales of lost essence...

I resumed.

"Happiness and you are one in the same.

Only known in awakened dreams before life kissed you..

I have traveled hearts before, only to find abandon cliffs.

And although your trails have le...

Kind Of Love

I love the idea of loving you... 
but not that any kind of love...
That 2 a.m.,  text message book kind of love lol 
The kind that wakes me at 6 am and not knowing  what I dreamed of but knowing it was all you type love...
You give me bats.. 
Because I can't say butterflies.
For those are far too gentle to explain the roaring in my soul for you...

You've got that weakening love...
The kind that causes my knees to ache from your kisses and my breath to leave me when our bodies meet..
Something like Sunday love...
Where books and beaches are one in the same because they're both paradise when I'm with you.. 
The kind that I can lost in...
So lost that the idea of you and I vanish on the pulse from one iconic heartbeat
We share one heart beat... type love
... knowing that you'll touch depths of me this world will never lay eyes on 

Yo...

Letters of the Soul

There are no words to explain my happiness for your love. 
It makes my heart warm knowing the unconditional measures you must feel 
Indeed. 
You don’t hear my congratulatory words 
But they’re there... 
And you may not witness the smiles in your honor 
Yet they’re plastered... 
Blowing 2000 kisses of endless blessings 
Vibrating 
For the dreams of truth in which you so much deserve 
And the arms of warmth in which I hope you find safe haven 
Again... No 
You recognize it with blind eyes 
Because I’m alive in buried memories 
And deceased to your present 
But my lack of presence are my heart’s presents 
To you 
And though untouchable to the skin 
And invisible to the eye 
It is with you that I lie my soul