It’s hard for this introvert to be converted to an extrovert
When I try to do so, I just revert
So I use my words to better curb the bad me
And I see it to be a bad seed
Inside me
That which it blind sides me
Because I can feel the tug to become corrosive
The feelings inside are making me feel a little explosive
Temperamental is not instrumental
No violin pity party
I spit stupidly such stupidity, hardly!
I am more of a god man, who is Godly
Sinfully rooted and its hardly grounded
My branches reaching to the heavens holding Gods hand
As His love has unfolded
Feeling punished and scolded
My spirit was unfurled
My nose smelling ashes of burnt incense
My nose hairs will just curl
The scroll has unrolled and opened up the heavens at seven
And God spoke to me thrice about my hidden vice
And confirmed that I am to be his modern bread unleavened
This internal struggle
Daily it drains me of energy to constantly juggle
I work so hard just to hustle
At times I spew forth words of wisdom
While when I feel the urge to speak disdainfully
I just latch on a muzzle
Confined in my own mind
To moments of detriment
That which are more inclined to create hidden passages
New mountain to climb
Feeling somber and yet my other version and portion
Is taking today’s life in distortion
Feels like my new version of self
Is on the brink of abortion
I can feel the tug pulling at me
Eating away my very being
I see darkness on one end
And light in the other
But I fear to confront my natural mother
Mother natures is in tune
In tune with the static noise in my mental room
And she’s trying to take it to consume
And I guess I must now assume
The position of going out in a boom!
What’s wrong with this?
Why is this happening?
I feel disgruntled and panged
A new song of death is constantly ringing
As death is on my door as it continues to have banged
Banging and knocking so much harder each moment
I want to make this feeling disappear
I need to have another atonement!
I need to feel a sudden sense of enjoyment
My God, My God please hear me out
I’m losing faith but losing doubt
Losing the power to be pompous and stout
I’m losing my presence and clout
What’s wrong with my essence?
I don’t know what this feelings all about!
I need to take a deeper look
Intro the quantum field of my soul
Electromagnetically charge up my battery
Reconnect it to be reconnected
So my energy can STOP being potential
And just go be PURELY kin-et-ic!
Feeling drastically frenetic
A little bit of the vibe of pathetic
Because I hate to feel in this manner
I get angered and sadder
Another day, another ladder!
Feels like I need a new language
In which I can converse with
Because the language of my mind today
Is just trying to hurt this
I know I have to take this energy
And quickly reverse it
Change it up immediately
And try to convert it
Switch to a different channel
So I can channel my negative vibe
Because I have never been the type
The type of man to go hide
The last thing that I want
Is to feel I’m not in control
Because I then lose my self
And I just may lose my soul!
It’s just a horrible feeling
This energy disturbance
I hate when I can not control
The power of its emergence
It’s like a negative side to me
That which I must over throw
And as many times as I have done so
It just never permanently goes
So I will continue with solitude
With a positive attitude
Use my memories of good times
To create my spirits great gratitude
And I guess that’s always been used
As my method of latitude
By creating visualizations of good times
I stir within myself, a blissful laughtitude
Maybe the better term
Would be my own spiritual beatitude
I create my own mental state
To thwart my other side and his perversions
So I have to push through the pain
And scream out loud positive assertions
Daily affirmations
That always lift me so high
And now I can feel my vibe is changing
By just the blink of an eye
I will end this disturbing feature poem
As a new one is coming
Because I spoke against the randomness of my bad side
And now I force him to be running
And the rain has now gone
And now my day will be sunning!
SkTzO