Today's Options [[12.19.11]]

Because I said I would..

[[11.4.11]]

Ignored, or just bored, either way I wont take it anymore

Came close to defeat and to think I wanted to use your seed, make my baby

Create life from this divine love, wanted to be your wife, faithful at home,

But you never cared just paid for a whore, paid for a mediocre finish

The deadline, revisits with a painful clash, just smoked up my stash

But at last I feel I don’t need it,

Im numb to this feeling my sober beginning

Translated to healing, or opposed to that meaning

Maybe im just dealing, perceived it as willing,

But the sin is smooth creeping into my needing flesh

I miss you again, but none the less I am determined

So tired of hoping, of wishing you could be mine, but time doesn’t change things

And the distance cant translate those days that we shared,

That sun I remember as merely a glare doesn’t compare to your to...

Today's Options [[12.19.11]]

Now I'm lwft with two options

Almost the same.

Either ignore or pretend like im good either way.

Like all that rejection doesn't faze me okay!

While im secretly wishing and hoping he'll stay.

And my other option of attack,

is to simply be detached.

take a couple steps back , and wait for a man to be a man

Maybe not my knight in shining armour

Cause I'm no princess to discover

I just want a real lover

Someone to hold me when I need comfort

Another individual like me,

But like me, is not likely

I need him Complimentary

to me

I need a man to let me be a woman

Heal me when I'm Broken

Protect me from the open heart I'm willing to give

Heart with scars still ready to live.

And with every morning that I rise from

There are options to decide on

But will i choose the right one?

hmm... I guess thats ...