1300
[[11.4.11]]
Ignored, or just bored, either way I wont take it anymore
Came close to defeat and to think I wanted to use your seed, make my baby
Create life from this divine love, wanted to be your wife, faithful at home,
But you never cared just paid for a whore, paid for a mediocre finish
The deadline, revisits with a painful clash, just smoked up my stash
But at last I feel I don’t need it,
Im numb to this feeling my sober beginning
Translated to healing, or opposed to that meaning
Maybe im just dealing, perceived it as willing,
But the sin is smooth creeping into my needing flesh
I miss you again, but none the less I am determined
So tired of hoping, of wishing you could be mine, but time doesn’t change things
And the distance cant translate those days that we shared,
That sun I remember as merely a glare doesn’t compare to your touch
That curly hair I loved to fluff, your brownish green eyes that disguised real life
Into an illusion full of beautiful confusion, tell me how can I prove this?
You said I am your special friend… but then again, how sincere could you be
It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve lied to me, tweek the truth, but who knew
Only you, im blind to the movement of your pure amusement
I guess its improvement, although im not fluent in the twisted language you speak
The meanings of things, translations revised, compromised for the weak.. me
Iv been your puppet of deception, disguised by perception the reflection never lies
Mirror, mirror, show me why? … or at least how… how could I be so weak
His affection is all I need, but I need to break free,
Confusing the desires with something required
But I do admire the fact you got to me so strong,
So far… youv been the only one,
And though I love other men for the simple purpose of moving on…
I stick around, all in vain because I still haven’t found
The prospect to help me forget, all ive encountered is countless rejects
Failed attempts to fly
Failed attempts to help me get by,
Failed in my mission to avoid all the visits but either bored or ignored
I cant take it any more
Ive come close to defeat
Close forgot to keep loving me
Almost forgot that its all a game, I cant play, iv lost too much in too little bets
And this whole time I just write with regrets.
