ts735bSTUDENT10 | Poetry Vibe
ts735bSTUDENT10
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sands of time - a grainy reflection of a tide dull

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just different

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“Where fore art those innocent and precious days of youth”? That rhetorical question continues to resonate and reverberate within the catacombs of my mind with increasing frequency. Where in tarnation  (and feel free and more than welcome to insert and substitute your favorite expletive here) did those carefree,  lackadaisical and leisurely days of youth disappear? I daresay any satisfactory answer can be offered, but this dazed disbelief might be akin to someone becoming inebriated within a darkened dive. Upon entering broad daylight, blinking their dulled and glassy eyes and fighting valiantly against sobriety all the while, said individual relents and confronts their bleak house of existence. No great expectations (by ens) ever seemed part of this formerly reticent and withdrawn mere wisp and writer of these words. He did seem to excel in various and sundry obsessive compulsive behaviors, which most serious for those who still possess the capacity to jog their fuzzy memory constituted a deadly romance with Anorexia Nervosa. Although nearly three quarters of these two score and thirteen years elapsed since full recovery from an attempt at the slow suicide via self-starvation, I can honestly attest that a long shadow of darkness impinged itself upon thy psyche! In other words, a painful awareness prevails that permanent legacy affected maximum growth of body, mind and spirit.  Perhaps the divulgence of such a poignantly private and painful crisis (that nearly rent his being asunder during that emotionally tumultuous prepubescent phase) may be of little interest and less relevant to his fellow classmates than how he occupies himself with at this juncture, yes? Truth be told nobody knows the troubles I went thru back during the throes of adolescence, which severe difficulty to cope with (what might be deemed ordinary transformations) prompted me to take such a passive yet destructive endgame upon thyself. With the advantage of foresight (always twenty/twenty - even without glasses) and in retrospect from the (supposedly storied) vantage point of greater (cough…gag…hack) maturity and wisdom, I trace cause and effect.  A parallel series of unfortunate events (perhaps beginning even at birth - or well nigh at articulate conception for that matter), a woebegone circumstance now finds me deeply submerged into my own series of unfortunate events Lake Lachrymose. Regular lock, stock and barrel reassessment of personal travails occurs with pained reflections of those infamous what if scenarios played out ad nausea with little or no change in the present dilemma. No well can affect a idyllicly satisfactory past, flush with inescapable reverberations from avast flow of dismal streaming tribulations roar back. 

 

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COMMENTS

 

SYQ222 says:

That is gorgeous very well written. Excellent!!!!!

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