I looked for you..
When the days were long, and my thoughts were consumed with doubt..
When my vision was cloudy, and logic made no sense, bc my heart couldn't comprehend what my inner voice was talking about..
I looked for you!
When my goals were met and I excelled, bc of my hard work, time and devotion, and each time I was recognized, or given a promotion. I knew you'd be proud, since your constant encouragement showed that you cared. As soon as I found out the news with you I wanted to share..
I looked for you!
When you chose me to be part of your team.. together we grew & transitioned but built a separate dream. Watching, praying, and cheering for you and your MVP, ready to dress out when you needed me. Then you loss your biggest fan, from that day I promised to sit where you could see me in the stands.. and keeping reminding you that everyday you've become a better man.
I looked for you!
When my best friend was in the hospital, her chest inhaled one last time as she took breath.. holding her warm hand, seeing the lines on the monitor go flat, hearing them say "5:02pm" time of death. My stomach turned, knees grew weak. I wanted to plead, but the lump in my throat didn't allow me to speak.
I looked for you!
When I anticipate the feeling I get flutters like butterflies.. the minute I look into your eyes.. and my heart drops as soon as my feet hit the floor, when you knock on the door.
I looked for you!
When you're quiet, internally at war, with emotions that are hard to escape, and behind the " okay" smile, I see pain written on your face.. I will show up every time to take you to another place.
I LOOKED FOR YOU!
When you get honoured for your achievements, getting what you deserve.. I'm filled with pride, for you the excitement and smile I can't hide.
I looked for you!
When you have a child, and wife.. your universe and life, keep them safe, bc when you're there.. their world becomes a better place. If there's a battle you find hard to grace. I'm strapped in amour to help wipe out enemies without a trace..
I will look for you!
And when it's over, and you've won the fight, before you turn to leave.. will you please make sure that I made it out alright?!? Bc I'm looking for you.