ponder

Unknown

Eyes wide open I see it all

Lie right to me and still I fall

Never again will I make the same mistakes

For now I'm contemplating tapping the brakes

Word after word we both have spoken

Like I've said before you've already chosen

You failed to see your faults for so long

Only because you hoped I was doing wrong

How much longer should I let things slide?

Until I reach my lowest point inside?

You need more and this I see

Was I wrong for thinking that more was me?

Not saying this pain is all your fault

It was my actions that first opened this vault

Through it all I spared your feelings I thought

Handling things as I should.. you know.. like an adult

In the end I understand we do not think the same

I just hoped we were driving in the same lane

Glue

You say I don't know you

I say you don't understand

My mind is telling me to leave 

But my heart is in your hand

Me Myself and I

Missing the light carried so deep inside

Still there silently shining just not as bright

Asking Myself this question late at night

Can Me… Myself still trust I?

After jumping and rolling around in hot flame

It is I who I look in the mirror and blame

Self-love and self-care only takes Me so far

When love for others has Myself and I at war

I guess as my guest you would like some explanation

Transparency into Myself and I, let Me reduce miscommunication

It is Me who is in charge and is manning the brain

Keeping Myself and I from going insane

Myself is all about Me and how to stay healthy but strange

Not worried about things that we cannot change

More focused on growth, not remaining the same

While I am the heart pumping love through the veins

Giving so much until we are left as remains

Which brings us back to...

changling

I know you feel it

How you express your deepest

Thoughts and fears with no weakness

Can’t tell me you have no grievance

For things I say with no pretense

Giving you hell no freezes

I know my words may cut but I need to get through the creases

Straight to your brain

Where the memories remain

Take me back to the days when a smile lit up your face

I know things won’t get much better than this

But am I wrong for sitting trying to reminisce

If you didn’t change up all your moods

Or change the person I knew

We would be cuddling up here in the nude

But now we gotta find a way to reason

So we can get through the season

Without somebody breaking down in vain

I wish things washed away with the rain

Our hearts no longer be strained

No lessons in that I guess we all need pain

ponder

Why try to do right when all they see is wrong

Why try to fit in when you know you don’t belong

When will it be peaceful no more to yell about

When will the rivers run dry and cause the worldwide drought

Where can we go when we have done it all

Where can we find freedom in a place that liberty falls

What do you say to those that have lost hope

What do you do for those that charged on to revolt

Who can we help along the long and torturous path

Who can we blame for our failures as we look back

How will the generations gone feel of our growth

How will the generations to come thrive knowing what we know

the end

Feathers ruffling throughout the wind

Heart is hurt but smiling and pretend

To be the same

The love remains

So many questions rattle in the brain

Like is she still roaming doing the same ish

Or did she really make a change

Knowing all our goals

Searching through her soul

Looking in her eyes

Perfect tunnel

Into the stormy seas

Staring back at me

Telling me what I already know

I don’t want to see the woman I love dearly turn into a foe

Much worse if the woman I have grown into just fell to the floor

Share

I like to tell stories

Invite you inside my mind

Never know where they will lead you

May lose track of time

Tip toeing with fingers line after line

Waiting for a plot twist, riddle or rhyme

For me to share my thoughts and leave you intertwined

with the trials and tribulations I tend to remind

so many can relate to the words that unwind

let’s talk about these things in public.. unite

educate the unknowing and listen.. no mic

be quicker to understand and slower to wish ill

take charge of our lives stop letting it fall where it will

admonished to put a small dosage in pills

only wise to come back for what’s next on the bill

cliff note

People yell out single ready to mingle on the daily

When they know they have that person that’s forever their baby

You think I’m growing, I’m trying to act like I’m knowing

When really its just the fact that I feel it and now it’s showing

For real you deal with the most when you’re not involved

So when you try to get it together you just can’t evolve

Gotta roll with the punches try not to fall down

Cause if you fall and get stuck there’s no playing around

jump

Standing on the ledge getting ready to take a leap

Why sit scared knowing that you will get what you reap

A fear of the unknown or maybe a repeat of the past

One loves too little the other loves too much will it even last?

They say you never know til you try

Questioning oneself when stakes are high

Take a step forward ready to dive

Angle of each wave so sharp to the eye

Windy, crispy steep and chill

Plunging all the way down the biggest of hills

Twirling tumbling all the way down

Savior sworn in with such pride

Now in the wind nowhere to be found

foster

Growing up in and out of foster care since 3

I have literally waited my whole life to be free

Used to count down the days until I would reach 18

No more rules, no more orders, less responsibilities

Don’t have to keep the girls in check, just had to worry about me

Never stopped to think if there would be fees

Once released, it’s like this beast just came out from within

Anything I could touch or get into I did

Moved back home with my mom where the party never ends

New trends big brothers friends sneaky plans with dividends

A virgin I came after 8 months of playing with the lames

 plus 9 more of blame games and reciting names

23 hours life giving and altering immense pain

A fresh 19 year old with a baby and a new set of goals I became

To take my first step I had to evolve

Look over to a mother I didn’t know