Survivor's Guilt

You Know Who You Are

You watch too long but look away fast.

I know you say appearance doesn’t matter.

I get out of my car, ignoring this for both of us.

At most job interviews, you hardly ask me a question.

I see you get your answer by the bewildered look

which causes my face to frown.

The children outside the store

back far away when I go to enter.

You grab them to ensure their safety.

I apologize as a habit.

Though I have done no wrong,

you make me feel a criminal.

I went north a few times.

It was a little better

but you were still there too.

Sometimes you come to work

to complain that I was hired,

but when I don’t work, you call me lazy.

You will surely outlive me,

being present at my funeral

but my life will make you weaker.

Survivor's Guilt

Desperation.

Inspiration, Determination.

What it takes to overcome

To do more than what your fathers done.

But always remember that when you succeed,

You left a mother in need

A brother to feed, a child that he didn’t plan for

Some firsts, seconds, and thirds that struggled with you

You can’t help them all

Most will see it as luck

Think you don’t give a ***

Because the media twists tales

And covers the truth up

Shows all the love at the top

How it all seems so ideal, like it just came out of nothing

Because it’s hard to dethrone a king once you’ve been conditioned to love him

Tell them while you were rising

You never forgot but you couldn’t stop fighting

Ask them, did Frederick Douglass’s brother ever see freedom?

Did ...