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My health has been declining
My spirit was slowly dieing
I even felt like giving up on even trying!
I would awaken feeling broken & shaken
As if the rapture occurred and my soul was left behind - not taken!
I would wake up just to breathe and survive yet another day of strain and pain
Feeling forced to yet again fight the thoughts in my brain.
I would cry, whine & complain
But then the day arrived when I came to the CROSS road.
The road of the Cross where I then did decide to drop my pride
No longer try to run & hide
Forced the old man to have died!
Even though he tries to resurrect himself and climb out of the grave
I proclaimed “he†will not live any longer and make me his slave
To the hate and negative thoughts that he loved to crave!
For now I am willing to bow and pray while keeping my head down pointed
Knowing that God will make an appointment with me and have me anointed
And when that moment is here I will listen carefully to hear
Not only His voice but the words that he will spew
Because I don’t want to be like the majority but neither like the few
Who are empty shells in their man made hell living in an emotional cell.
I must admit and no longer try to defy
The God which lives in me and yet is hidden in the presence of the sky
I must on HIM somehow tell myself to totally rely
Even when His love or presence isn’t always felt
I must believe He loves me and wants the best for me
And he will give me the strength to work with the cards that I’ve been dealt.
For God is not religion, nor is He, nor can He be conformed to our miniscule thoughts
But take heed and think of how you drink & feed
Not necessarily food and actual drink
But the food and drink being the words that spew forth and the thoughts that we think.
For Christ clearly stated
That we are to have our own parents hated
Not in the very humanistic definition
But understood to not show any human even the closest to your heart
More love than what you feel for God inside of your heart.
He sustains the very atoms that keep us together and have us breathing.
And we must admit to ourselves that without HIM
Our spirit will not flourish and be quickly leaving.
I can no longer wish and do my fantastical, whimsical, ideological goal-oriented dreaming.
Because the truth of the matter is that my talents and skills are useless and serve no purpose if they don’t serve the most high and His majesty.
And being who I am, when I came to recognize that it hit me like a massive tragedy
Oh what a satirical travesty
Knowing who I am you can only imagine
That kind of truthful mockery that was hitting me.
The illuminated doctrine of Gods facts
Only forcibly revealed the many aspects of self that I lacked and still lack.
But not to throw another cross upon my back
I must do what I can with what I have to do much more to add it to my growing stack.
To let go of the ideas, questions and thoughts of which are the very things that made me who I am as a person
Got me winded, befriended and had me momentarily dispersing a bunch of curses
Losing myself, in the midst of trying to gain the ultimate value of worth itself.
For now I conclude
And completely acknowledge that all my life I’ve been nude
A prudent student that spoke intellectually lewd
Delaying my own growth for most of my life
I now take full responsibility of all of my strife
I do not place my discovered disgrace
Onto God or any humans in the race
I just have to do what I have to do to hasten my pace
Tighten my straps & shoe lace
And run faster, work harder and totally rely
Lay my totality on His divinity
Allow His love from His holy one God trinity
To offer love, peace & power to my weakened anatomy.
Because I now know that He doesn’t need to show for me to know
I know because faith itself tells me so.
Thus, faith is the substance of things hoped for
And yet is also the evidence of things not seen visually.
And broken down in today’s language
We must intellectually imagine and believe in order to actually retrieve
Without focusing on daily circumstantial anguish.
For your circumstance is transformed based on our perception
And if we change our thoughts so does the demonic infection in our emotional deflection
Because whatever God allows in those whom love Him and follow through.
He is forever their infinite protection
We have no need to suffer what we call rejection
And there will be less verbalistic & transitional projection
Once we take note that he came as our replacement to be the scapegoat
Allowed humans to hurt his body when they smacked & smote
And he did not allow his flesh to act like a robotic remote
He chose to wear Gods armor type coat
And by living & dieing perfectly
He was more than capable & able
To throw our sins upon himself
To make our eventual progress into eternity fully acceptable & stable.
SkTzO
