Reflection of my past

CATEGORY

Maybe it was those dealers in the hallway ; or the prostitiues who sold they self for money that made me heartless ; either way I seen 2 much ; trust me I experienced enough ; from having dead homies cuz money was the motive : we got tired of eating ramen noodles for for every luncheon ; so we found other ways to make money instead : maybe it's the time at 15 when my childhood love got 15 and all I kept thinking was dam how the hell did he get sentenced; and the girls I grew up with having babies but they babies and the ones who I fought for now I fight with because they jealous ; maybe it was those nights a father could teach me ; teach me how to properly love myself so a man I allow to hit my face and replace the little sense of love I got I thought that I can fix myself ; but I need more than iyannna ; I need a man like Obama and cuz I didn't know Michelle's when I was hustling ; I knew quick scrims women who will sell they soul if it came with a decent amount of money ; so I was different ; hustling at 14 just to take the pain away that I was feeling ; at 26 it's still hasn't left me since ; and all my good friends dead or in jail so this pain cuz keeps me feeling sick ; cuz they talk about pain as if they know it ; mama worked everyday and sometimes even then it wasn't enough ; cuz bull came bills was still late ; and the landlord didn't get a dam ; so hotels became my child hood ; basers became my neighbors but they getting high every chance they get so some of them eventually did vanish ; probably all the crack rocks they was smoking ; maybe it was the hard life that made me a hard child so the next child you see acting up don't call them a bad child : cuz only lord knows what they been through ; only lord knows what angels god used for them to pull though ; But mama through it all We made it