Way down in the jungle deep, A vanilla savior swings from vine to vine, confounding badass baboons and silver back gorillas. Frolicking in the heart of darkness. Tarzan crowned lord of the jungle by self appointed absentee landlords. Tanned tenants pay rent for the ground they owned. Counterfeit king of beast beating his chest in triple canopy forests. Rituals white washed with African hands, noble natives send SOS messages to the memory of painted griots and holy men. Piss elegant Englishmen rewrite history with stiff upper lips, taking their afternoon tea on shaded verandas in the middle of the Kenyan savannas, making happy endings for the civilized world. Distant drums pulsate, heartbeats that never die...