Suffocation

The Hurt Within

So what if I’m a little passive?

Or my aggression flies higher than the skies,

Or maybe my attitude can slice on a drop of a dime,

Or can give a look that can commit any crime,

So what?

It doesn’t make me any less of who I am suppose to be,

Just mold me into the person I was chosen to be,

Go ahead and judge me,

Judge the life I’ve lived,

In which you would never be able to walk in one sole of mine,

Or walk a straight path if that,

Go ahead,

Deal with the hands I’ve dealt with,

Or the fact that I will never be able to speak a word to my dead mother,

Who hid her pregnancy with me and tried to mission abort like the others,

Get taken away by the state and adopted because of her neglect and lack of love due to the many lovers,

Or even find my father who was only just a donor of an extreme undercover,

Smile

[WE ALL ARE SELF CONSCIOUS OF SOMETHING, MINE HAPPENS TO BE MY GAP]

BUT WHY MOM?!

Why wouldn’t you allow me to get braces?

To close this ugly gap and fill in these empty spaces?

Do you know how it feels to always fake a smile?

To act like hilarious things aren’t funny, I just want to smile.

Well it’s been a while pretending to be someone I’m not.

Something like a cruel hearted kid feeling like a fully functioning robot.

I can’t smile, just the thought of me showing these teeth make me cringe.

A slight grin will kill the little light I have left within.

I want to smile as bright as the sun.

But yet these spaces shun my light devouring all of my fun.

I want to sing and share my voice like the girls on tv.

But this smile turns instantly into fear, I won’t, I just can’t let th...

Suffocation

Suffocation and exasperation.

Two of the main things I can't exaggerate.

Under a thick cloud of smoke and debris.

Disbelief has gotten the best of me.

This life I once called beauty has now captured me.

Wrapped me into a ball of catastrophe. 

Consumed me and used me.

Chewed me and abused me.

But still I see small hope illumining me.

The depths of my soul burn with rage.

Even hell couldn't contain this gaze.

It will get better is what I keep sayin'.

Keeping the faith and positivity.

Spiritually, mentally and emotionally.

So I write..

I write to escape the world.

The reality of this realm that has to be endured.

False hope is what I fear.

But I still refuse to shed anymore tears.

Wasted energy and wasted time.

Why continue to lose strife am I that blind?.

Los...