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2b2b2
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lightness in the dark
Love First and Love Lasts

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Lost Loves’ Journal Entry #17

CATEGORY

first love

Views: 372

 

Deep  invasions,  in  private  places
About  faces,  no  longer  given  graces
Love  refuses  to  retreat from  hearts’ keep
I  will  love  thee,  not  just  in waking,  but  in  sleep….

 

For  keeps  was  a  depart  in  loves’  eternal  portrayal
Obsession has  me  questing  for  answers  to  why  you  still appear
We  were  not  good  for  each  other  for  reasons  of time and space
I  had  hearts  on  call,  that  yes  I  did  dispatch  in  youthful  haste
Your  love  calls  to  me, on  levels  that  are  untimely, yet  I  still  feel

 

Words  exchanged  in  vex,  were  my  signal  to  move  on  from  us  with  time
Year  after  year  I still find you  invade my  conscious, as  if  you are  still mine
Not  wanting,   to  know  an  answer  unbecoming of  a  comforting  stature
I  push  back your  waves,  as just  an  ego  attack  of  lust  and  voyeurism

 

If  I  am  not  the  one  ultimately  for  you,  why must  I  only  see  you as  my love
Is  it  my  love  for  hurt,  or  my  need  to control,  or  some  groove  misplaced?
Rationalizing  internal  struggles  are  not  psychological  answers  that  allow  me  to rest
Your  heart  beats  as  mine,  although  after  time your  heart  may  beat  for  others  anew

 

I  hope  that  the  love  that  finds  you  is  true,  truer  than  my  feelings  of  lost,  thinking  of you
Time  and  time  again,  when  I  go  to  sleep peacefully,  I  see  your  face  and presence  with me….
I  have  had  eyes  for  experiences  partook  and  imagined,  fashioned  reasons  for  what  happened
You  denied  my  love  was  real,  maybe  that  is  why,  my  need  for  you  to  know,  my  love  appeals
Not  wanting  to  belay  a  departure  or  stoke  heartache  that  by  your  accounts  is  forgotten
So  I  can  only  journal  my  love and  inspiration,  by  wording  this  enigmatic  dedication
I  love  you  before  I  knew you,  I  see  you in  everything,  as  if  a  curse  of  lost  love’s  legacy
So  awakened,   I  mourn  and  try  to  forget  by  way  of  slumber,  that  brings  you  to  me  again

 

Every night  is  not  filled  with  you, just  when  bygones  are  starting  to  lose  shape, you  embrace  me
I  really  wish  I  could  stop,  or  maybe  my  subconscious  is  preparing  me  for  one  so  inclined  in time
Your  face,  your  taste,  your  spirit  calls  to  me,  although  I  discount  the  dream  as me  calling  you!
But  if  dreams  are  aspects  of  reality  awaiting  permission  to  be  set  free,  I  confess  to  dreaming  this  dream….and wishing for you to return for  real to me!

My  love  for  you……is  more  than  a  dream….and you  are  always welcome in my  space  forever…..

 

 

(Just  in  case  I never,  ever  get  to  talk  to  you  in  person…..you  are  hereby  memorialized  by  this  here  dream  journal entry #……Twelve-Thirteen-Seventeen)

 

 

 

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COMMENTS

 

LP45 says:

So many emotions flow within this penned excellence. Happiness, joy, sadness, and so much more. This is a beautiful heartfelt write my friend. Thank you for sharing it.

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Contest Winner  

The Immortal Wize says:

Lyrical Flames!

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mrmelody7 says:

Very unique write Sir Knight 2b sure in my case she said what bout your vows simply told her I lied and made my exit stage left Salute to you Sir for such a write

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