Deep invasions, in private places
About faces, no longer given graces
Love refuses to retreat from hearts’ keep
I will love thee, not just in waking, but in sleep….
For keeps was a depart in loves’ eternal portrayal
Obsession has me questing for answers to why you still appear
We were not good for each other for reasons of time and space
I had hearts on call, that yes I did dispatch in youthful haste
Your love calls to me, on levels that are untimely, yet I still feel
Words exchanged in vex, were my signal to move on from us with time
Year after year I still find you invade my conscious, as if you are still mine
Not wanting, to know an answer unbecoming of a comforting stature
I push back your waves, as just an ego attack of lust and voyeurism
If I am not the one ultimately for you, why must I only see you as my love
Is it my love for hurt, or my need to control, or some groove misplaced?
Rationalizing internal struggles are not psychological answers that allow me to rest
Your heart beats as mine, although after time your heart may beat for others anew
I hope that the love that finds you is true, truer than my feelings of lost, thinking of you
Time and time again, when I go to sleep peacefully, I see your face and presence with me….
I have had eyes for experiences partook and imagined, fashioned reasons for what happened
You denied my love was real, maybe that is why, my need for you to know, my love appeals
Not wanting to belay a departure or stoke heartache that by your accounts is forgotten
So I can only journal my love and inspiration, by wording this enigmatic dedication
I love you before I knew you, I see you in everything, as if a curse of lost love’s legacy
So awakened, I mourn and try to forget by way of slumber, that brings you to me again
Every night is not filled with you, just when bygones are starting to lose shape, you embrace me
I really wish I could stop, or maybe my subconscious is preparing me for one so inclined in time
Your face, your taste, your spirit calls to me, although I discount the dream as me calling you!
But if dreams are aspects of reality awaiting permission to be set free, I confess to dreaming this dream….and wishing for you to return for real to me!
My love for you……is more than a dream….and you are always welcome in my space forever…..
(Just in case I never, ever get to talk to you in person…..you are hereby memorialized by this here dream journal entry #……Twelve-Thirteen-Seventeen)